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CMLL Tuesday Preview: Talkin 'bout a Revolucion

Updated on March 6, 2017

It’s time! It’s time! My Grodd I use this intro too much. Regardless, CMLL Tuesday is quickly approaching sports fans and it looks…pretty good? You know how it is with CMLL; we’ve got one match setting up things for next week, an opener that looks better than usual, several matches that could be good but have factors that will frustrate us all and one match that looks like the Guns N Roses scene from Can’t Hardly Wait. That’s a great thing by the way. I suppose it does add up to a Tuesday show better than usual, and luckily you have me to tell you what to see and what to avoid. So let’s get down to business. Moses, time to meme again while Tracy Chapman sings about revolutions and shit.

Shockercito & Stukita vs. Mercurio & Pierrothito

What to Expect: Now this is a strong looking match up here sports fans. We’ve got the new (and well deserving) Mini Estrellas champion Shockercito teaming up with the ultra talented Stukita to take on a really good Pierrothito and a Mercurio that did one of the coolest tornillos just a few weeks ago. There’s a lot of promise here if these four want to go all out. I’m not sure they go that far but I think the effort is good, the biting is kept to the minimum and this turns out to be a better than expected CMLL opener. It’ll be interesting to see if Shockercito and Pierrothito continue to feud after their title match encounter this past weekend.

Winners: Shockercito is a brand spanking new champion; of course he’s not going over here! The rudos take this in three falls after Shockercito is counted out following another Mercurio tornillo (yes, I’m calling for another tornillo) and Stukita taps to a Pierrothito submission. Hopefully for Pierrothito’s next trick he replaces Pierroth! That’ll make Pierroth-Diamante a whole lot better, I’m telling you now.

Flyer, Príncipe Diamante, Robin vs. Cancerbero, Metálico, Raziel

What to Expect: You know this doesn’t look that bad. Actually to be honest it looks pretty good, if you take away the fact that the old man luchadors are TOTALLY winning this match and leaving you more depressed than that time Kevin Owens lost to Goldberg in 22 seconds (when was that? I don’t remember). They key is that Cancerbero and Raziel can work and Metálico can be entertaining in the right circumstances. Thus the better than expected rudo team, provided they work hard, should prove to be just right for a technicos team that’s pretty decent as long as they’re confident. On second thought I’m starting to feel worse about this match. Let’s just wrap this up by saying this match will do quite well if the rudos show up and the three technicos are feeling good that day. Nope that didn’t help. Flyer, if you’re reading this please do a good job and make me not look stupid here!

Winners: One day Príncipe Diamante will be involved in the decision of a match his team wins. Tuesday is not that day. The rudos win after Cancerbero submits Robin and Raziel plants Diamante with some cool move of his.

Blue Panther Jr., Star Jr., The Panther vs. Canelo Casas, Okumura, Skándalo

What to Expect: Once more (you open the door?) CMLL has put together a match that is both delightful and irritating. Look at that technico team sports fans; it’s pristine, it’s magnificent, it’s a bunch of fancy words you only hear in film productions directed by Kenneth Branagh. Junior is super cool. The Panther is super cool and finally back in the groove some thought he lost in the middle of 2016. Star Jr. might be CMLL’s greatest unsung hero. Together those three are awesome and should have a great match against anyone. The problem; the anyone this week includes Skándalo and the gorram discount Heavy Metal. To make things worse, this will be the second straight night I’ve had to watch the gorram discount Heavy Metal? WHY OH WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME WATCHING THE GORRAM DISCOUNT HEAVY METAL CMLL?!

Granted, Okumura is on the rudo side too and you know he’ll at least work with some dignity here. Even still that doesn’t take away from how poor Skándalo and discount Heavy Metal are and how much of a challenge it’ll be for the technicos to work around their limitations. Basically I’m expecting a mixed bag. Star Jr. will definitely get a wow moment in, Panther will be solid and Junior, as long as they keep him with Okumura, should do just fine. I just can’t see Skándalo or discount Heavy Metal being anything better than okay and thus I can’t see this match being any better than okay unless one of the technicos really goes off. Dammit CMLL. All you needed to do was add Misterioso and Sagrado in Skándalo and discount Heavy Metal’s place and we would’ve been in business. Do you think I like being reminded that the actual Heavy Metal is out there and still better than his discount version, despite being nearly fifty and probably drunk off his ass?

Winners: Technicos take this. Yes it’s illogical but I don’t care; I refuse to pick anything that involves discount Heavy Metal. As such he and his pals go down in three after Junior submits Okumura with the Nudo Lagunero.

Lightning Match

Pegasso vs. Virus

What to Expect: An intriguing Lightning Match that could be really good but more than likely will just end up being okay. I know that’s harsh considering Virus is involved, but the legend’s last few Lightning Matches have been nothing to write home about and his opponent is the kind of dude who tries 450’s off the apron despite knowing he can’t pull off 450’s off the apron. And I haven’t even mentioned the time restrictions as a potential problem! Certainly you shouldn’t expect this to be an eyesore and if Virus gets going there’s no telling where this match could end up. I’m just saying; don’t expect this to be a Hechicero-Soberano quality Lightning Match. It’ll be more like a high end version of Pegasso-Disturbio from a few weeks ago, not to mention a reminder that Virus desperately needs longer singles matches.

Winner: Virus takes this at the seven minute mark with some kick ass submission. The real drama; whether Pegasso tries that 450 to the floor again. I say he will; it’s CMLL folks. When has anyone there ever learned their lesson?

Blue Panther, Titán, Tritón vs. Bobby Villa, Dragón Rojo Jr., Pólvora

What to Expect: We have now reached the reason you absolutely need to watch this show. Other matches before this may have decent qualities and may even have a shot to be good; this match has a shot to be GREAT. I said it yesterday and I’ll say it again now; ever since becoming a trio Dragón Rojo, Pólvora and Bobby V haven’t just been good; they’ve been darn near exceptional. I’d dare say they’re already up there with the Sky Team, the Negro Casas/Puma/Tiger trio, Los Guerreros and the Panther’s as one of the best trios in CMLL, and they’ve only been around since M. Night Shyamalan’s comeback. And I haven’t even mentioned they’re coming off a great performance this past Friday and may be coming off another excellent performance in Puebla. If I knew jack shit about the stock market, I’d be buying Los Revolucionarios stock quicker than I buy bottles of 7 Up at the local 711.

Just in case you think this match is all about the dudes in the big hats with the big guns though, I should point out the technicos are quite the marvel themselves. Blue Panther is Blue Panther, and he just proved the other day to have exceptional chemistry with the Revolucionarios, particularly Rojo. Titán and Tritón are both superstars in the making, and will likely be allowed to go full out here considering it’s the fifth match on the card. Whatever way you want to look at this, this match looks to be a surefire winner. The only way it won’t be is if someone gets hurt or if someone gets hurt. Beyond that these six, with Blue Panther likely laying out the match, should deliver one of the better matches you’ll see on a CMLL Tuesday show this year. If CMLL was smart, it would also be the type of match they should be trying to emulate every Tuesday show from here on in.

Winners: If it were me, one of the technicos would get the pin on Rojo in the third fall to set up a potentially excellent CMLL Middleweight Championship match next Tuesday. Seriously; you couldn’t go wrong with Rojo-Titán, Rojo-Tritón or Rojo Panther. It’s a can’t lose situation! Sadly I don’t see that happening, with Los Revolucionarios instead continuing their momentum with a win in three falls.

Atlantis, Dragón Lee, Rey Cometa vs. Cavernario, Felino, Negro Casas

What to Expect: A great looking main event that’s probably just going to be good because CMLL is building towards yet another Rey Cometa-Cavernario match. That’s not a bad thing sports fans. Cometa and Cavernario aren’t capable of having a bad match together and if CMLL wants them to headline the last show before Homenaje a Dos Leyendas then I say bravo. I just hope they recognize that they can do quite a bit with this match here too. Atlantis, Dragón Lee, Felino and Negro Casas are awesome themselves, and a few killer segments in between the Cometa-Cavernario feuding can only help. I say we get some, but not enough to take this match from good to great. At least next week will be great I suppose.

Winners: If I’m not mistaken, Cometa actually got the pin on Cavernario just a week ago. That can only mean the opposite this week, with Cavernario stealing the win from Cometa in either the second or third fall, followed by the inevitable challenge afterwards that Cometa accepts. Good night and drive home safely folks!

That’s game sports fans! I’m off till later when I’ll be reviewing tonight’s Puebla show, which actually should be fun. Till then, something something DUCHOVNY!

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