CMLL Tuesday Night Delight Preview: Tag Match Palooza
Ah what a…wait no it’s not a beautiful day. The sun isn’t out, it’s hotter than Summer Glau at Rhode Island Comic-Con, the Cubs have traded for a dude who beat his wife and fired a gun in his garage eight times for reasons I still don’t comprehend and my head hurts. Them be the breaks I suppose. The good news is that CMLL is on tonight and will be again tomorrow night with their usual Tuesday show on YouTube. And seeing as I’ve already previewed tonight’s show, I think it’s time we tackled tomorrow’s, which I’m going to refer to as the Tuesday Night Delight. Why? Because the show should be delightful; what it lacks in super cool singles matches like Volador-Ultimo Guerrero it makes up for with a slew of really interesting, potentially really fun tag and six man tag matches. If things go right, this could be the third straight good to great CMLL show in a row, a feat not accomplished since Batman and Batgirl where in a platonic relationship. But enough about a joke I’m going to run into the ground by the time this column is over; it’s time to talk some Tuesday Night Delight. Moses, meme it like it’s hot.
Robin & Sensei vs. Apocalipsis & Cholo
What to Expect: Holy cannoli what a great start this is! I don’t know who on the CMLL staff came up with the great idea to put ¾ of last Friday’s Super Viernes opener together but I can safely say they’re smarter than the dude who thought Batman and Batgirl doing it was a solid idea. In fact this match up might be better! I don’t recall seeing this Apocalipsis any time recently but I can’t imagine he’s much worse than Artillero. If he’s not, this match should be a fun way to start Tuesday night. If he is, well it’ll still be a fun way to start a Tuesday night. I have enough faith in Robin, Sensei and Cholo delivering the goods again to believe that. Then again I also had faith in the animated Batman: Killing Joke film being a satisfying experience.
Winners: Robin and Sensei won on Friday when Cholo had the weaker partner; naturally now that Cholo has a presumably better partner you’d expect he’d take this one. NOT SO FAST MY FRIEND! I say the technicos win again over Cholo, leading to…probably nothing but a short post match celebration. Wouldn’t it be cool though if they continued tags like this till Cholo found a worthy partner to beat these guys? Do it CMLL; I dare you. I double dog dare you. Holy shit why am I using phrases last used when Rico Suave was popular?
Hombre Bala Jr., Magnus, Starman vs. El Cuatrero, Sangre Azteca, Sansón
What to Expect: Wait a minute. WAIT A MINUTE! You’re telling me we’re getting a match with El Cuatrero, Sanson, Hombre Bala Jr. and MAGNUS?! ALL FOUR OF THEM AT THE SAME TIME?!
As you can tell I’m kind of excited about this match and so should you! The brothers Sanson and El Cuatrero really impressed me when they opened up a Super Viernes show months ago and have a very nice scientific approach to their style. I absolutely adore Magnus, so anytime he’s on the card is guaranteed to get me excited. And Hombre Bala is coming off a Tuesday show last week where he was one of the only performers who looked like a stud. Those four right there should give us plenty of action, so much so that the presence of veterans Starman and Azteca won’t matter unless they’re completely and utterly incompetent. Seeing as they’re not, this should be a lot of fun and could very well be the match of the evening. Yes I’m trying out match of the evening. Seems a little more elegant than Match of the Night no?
Winners: Technicos take it two falls to one. Hey, when there’s no feud present and no feud likely to come, always play it safe and go with the fan favorites. Unless Virus is involved. SPEAKING OF!
Blue Panther Jr., Fuego, Tritón vs. Puma, Tiger, Virus
What to Expect: There’s that beautiful bastard likely captaining a pretty impressive rudo team in our third bout. Actually this looks to be a pretty solid contest across the board; Blue Panther Jr. is the only glaring weak link here and chances are he won’t be given a whole hell of a lot to do anyway. That means we’re going to get to see a whole lot of Virus doing Virus things and a whole lot of high flying from the really exciting Puma/Tiger/Triton/Fuego foursome. If they lean on that, limit Panther Jr. to just the right amount of ring time and keep him with the always reliable Virus then this probably will be the stand out match of the evening. There I go again being all formal!
Winners: Team Virus. Never bet against the king folks. Well that and never bet against a team that features someone who just messed up his uncle’s chances of winning a fourth Leyenda de Plata and is totally going to be out for redemption. I’ve got your back Tiger, Bernie Sanders style.
The Panther vs. Luciferno
What to Expect: You know what time it is folks! Once more we must prepare to RIDE THE LIGHTNING!
How good this ride will be is very dependent on a certain fellow known as Luciferno. And yes I’m putting this all on him; even though he has moments of inconsistency The Panther is usually a really good, exciting young hand that has learned at a much quicker pace than his slightly older brother. Luciferno though is a bit of a mystery. I was actually quite impressed with him this past Friday when he and Ephesto gave a couple of decent performances in their Trios match against Atlantis, Diamante Azul and Stuka Jr. Other than that though I can’t remember the last time I was over the moon to see him wrestle, and I certainly can’t recall the last time I wanted to see him work a solo match. Hopefully he’s got his working boots on here and can help deliver a solid match with Panther, who deserves a good singles performance here. The good news is that a) Luciferno was trained by Panther’s father Blue Panther (meaning there should be some built in chemistry there) and b) Lightning Match’s don’t go too long so even if this match isn’t good, it will be relatively painless. You know, the opposite of viewing the animated Batman: Killing Joke. Unless you’re one of those weird Bruce Wayne/Barbara Gordon shippers.
Winner: If God is a CMLL fan, The Panther takes this one and gets a solid singles win under his bout. Naturally God is as much a CMLL fan as I’m a fan of the Chicago White Sox, which means Luciferno is winning this and the entire American/Canadian lucha community takes part in one beautifully synchronized eye roll.
Ángel de Oro, Rey Cometa, Stuka Jr. vs. Euforia, Felino, Hechicero
What to Expect: The bad news; this match originally featured super luchador and every WWE fan’s new favorite luchador of all time Mascara Dorada before he was pulled in order to replace Caristico in CMLL’s untelevised show in Guadalajara show the same night. Serious bummer. The good news; he was replaced by Rey Cometa, who is really really REALLY good in his own right. In the words of Lucha Underground legend Dr. Wagner Jr., BIEN BIEN BIEN! That catchphrase also applies to this match, which aside from Cometa and his death defying tornillos features Angel de Oro and his lovely theme music, a really motivated and really exciting Stuka Jr. and a great one two rudo punch in Euforia (absolutely phenomenal the other night in the Super Viernes semi-main event) and Felino. In short; chalk this up to another Match of the Evening candidate. God if I keep talking this fancy I’m going to have to go suit up like Barney Stinson.
Winners: Doesn’t seem like anything is being set up here either, which means much like the reaction to Batman and Batgirl creating a 45 degree angle to create an equinox so they can see the big dipper…holy shit what did I just say?! Let’s forget I turned into a Scott Steiner promo right there and officially predict the technicos for victory here two falls to one. Excuse me now while I go lie down for a good fifteen minutes.
Atlantis, Diamante Azul, Máximo Sexy vs. Ephesto, Rey Escorpión, Ripper
What to Expect: Here is the main event and…honestly isn’t it a little underwhelming. After several good to really good potential matches throughout the show, CMLL’s Tuesday Night Delight ends with a match featuring Ripper and Ephesto headlining, which might be the most “eh” thing since *insert Batman and Batgirl doing it in The Killing Joke film joke here*. That’s not to say it doesn’t deserve to be on the show; I’m just saying they probably should’ve swapped it out for one of the other matches on this card. Even still I’ll be sitting here with my new Mistico mask watching it, because dammit that’s just what you do when Atlantis is involved. If the greatest mask vs. mask wrestler that ever lived comes to play like he did Friday night, if Diamante Azul does enough running stage sentons and monkey flips and if Maximo does his usual Maximo routine then this match should at least be entertaining. And hey, seeing as I was more wrong than Warner Brothers in keeping Zack Snyder on to direct Justice League, maybe I’ll be wrong again here and the presence of Rey Escorpion leads to Ephesto and Ripper giving career best performances. Although if they’re just as good as Ephesto was Friday night I suppose that’ll be fine too.
Winners: Interesting thing to note here; in a night where there doesn’t appear to be a whole lot of set up, the only match that has any carry over from the Puebla or Super Viernes shows is this one. Why? Because it features Maximo and Escorpion, who will be on opposing sides one night after being on opposing sides in Puebla. Combine that with Maximo being CMLL Heavyweight Champ and the fact I predicted an Escorpion-Maximo set up in my Puebla preview and I’m thinking this is where we see something set up. I’ll go with Escorpion getting the win for his team over Maximo, fanning the flames for an eventually Heavyweight Title encounter on a Monday or Tuesday to be determined. So let it be written, so let it be done!
And that children ends the madness! I’m off until this evening when I review tonight’s CMLL show and I’ll be back again tomorrow night to review the show I just previewed. SO MUCH CMLL! Till then, how the hell can I end this with something other than a Batman/Batgirl joke? In the words of narcissist Brandon Flowers, it’s only natural!
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