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CMLL Tuesday: Where They Play the Wrong Theme Songs and So Do I!

Updated on December 6, 2016

So I may have been a tad dishonest earlier; Valiente’s pants showing up and I celebrating that occurrence wasn’t the only reason I didn’t review last night’s CMLL show. The other reason; it was merely okay, a show that wasn’t bad by any means but also didn’t deliver nearly as much as I expected it to. And well, after getting my hopes up for it being a really good show, I was in no mood to review. Why do I bring this up? Because tonight’s CMLL was pretty much the same, only this time I am doing a review. I don’t get it either. In fairness to this show, it did have a match better than anything on last night’s Puebla broadcast and also contained a dive that was Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy Summers good. It also just had a lot of just kind of there shenanigans and the usual confounding CMLL booking that makes me want to stab out my eyes with Christmas lights. Oh shit we got dark there. Let’s try to avoid that as I review this show. Moses, hide the Christmas lights and get out the meme.

Acero & Aéreo defeated Pequeño Universo 2000 & Pequeño Violencia two falls to one

There is only one way to describe this match.

Let’s move on.

Inquisidor, Metálico, Nitro defeated Príncipe Diamante, Sangre Imperial, Robin two falls to one

The good news; Aly was back tonight! You know, the really cute ring girl everyone likes? Alright that wasn’t the only good news. Evidently Arkángel got lost on the way to Arena Mexico again and was replaced by Inquisidor, automatically making this match better than it looked on paper. That’s sadly where the good news ends. Despite a decent Metálico performance and some improvement shown by Sangre Imperial (though not enough to wash away the bad taste of his first match), this contest was still ho hum unless Inquisidor and Príncipe were going at it, which only happened one or two times. The most notable thing was, once again, CMLL jobbed out Príncipe at the end. Only this time it was more extreme than Friday; not only did Príncipe take a codebreaker from Inquisidor, not only did he take a Tiger Bomb from Metálico and not only did he get splashed into a oblivion by Nitro, but he took all of them BACK TO BACK TO BACK! If I didn’t know any better I would’ve thought all three rudos were 2003 Triple H clones the way they ended this match. Seriously CMLL; the guy won the Bodybuilding Contest just a few weeks ago and your response to this is to job him out? Why would you do this? Why am I even asking this? None of this makes any sense at all and if I’m Príncipe Diamante I’m probably wishing like hell the judges had scored Valiente higher than me right about now.

Lightning Match

Raziel defeated Star Jr.

I tried to tell you this match was going to be good and it was; save for one detail. CMLL actually even put a little bit of a story together here, with Raziel controlling the action and hitting Star Jr. with everything he’s got, only for the youngster to keep getting up time and time again. They pulled me in with that story beat and made me believe Star Jr. had a shot, which was bolstered by him hitting a springboard tornillo that was so amazing that I legit yelped. You need to see it to believe it people; I was certain Star Jr. was going to hit a third rope moonsault, then the next thing you know he was spinning around like my Create-A-Skater in Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2. It was out of this world; it was also all for not because Raziel picked up the win in what had to be the most deflating moment of the night. I continue to not understand what CMLL’s deal with this is. Sure I get Raziel is going to New Japan and needs to look good and he’s certainly capable (tonight proved as such), but the guy wins ALL THE TIME. You couldn’t have thrown Star Jr. a bone here? Better yet, you couldn’t have let him get in more offense aside from that great dive and a few other short spurts? In the end this was just typical CMLL; the match was good and featured the best dive of the night (and maybe the week), but the story it told led to an unsatisfying conclusion and another youngster lost for no reason. Great Mido, sum it up for the people.

Blue Panther Jr., Drone, The Panther defeated El Cuatrero, Forastero, Sansón two falls to one

This wasn’t looking to good when CMLL started playing the Los Ingobernables theme, leading me to believe Pierroth was involved and questioning my straight edge beliefs. Luckily it was merely a technical goof on CMLL’s part (the first of two this evening) and the match went off Pierrothless. Thank Grodd because I don’t think it would’ve been nearly as good with him in it. I think these two teams could do better and I was disappointed to see Forastero a little lost at times, but overall this was really fun. Los Cientificos were on their game as usual, but the driving force of this match was the technicos. Panther continued his hot run and I’m starting to think he may have the best Frog Splash in the business (it was Art Barr esq I tell you). Drone, for the first time since dropping the Hombre Bala gimmick for this one, looked like a healthy cross between his old and new self; he was diving everywhere and anywhere this evening. But in the end, and maybe this is my bias talking cause I love the kid, Junior stood out the most. I was a little disappointed with his work Friday, the first time in months he was overshadowed by his brother and looking as though he regressed to old habits. That was gone tonight; he moved well, he hit a few dives himself and his work with Sansón and Cuatrero was really inspired (gotta love those forearm exchanges). This is what I expect to see from him and his brother every time out and they didn’t let us down. What else can you say other than this was a really fun match and easily the best of the night; the only thing beating it was Star Jr.’s dive. It was that good peeps.

Blue Panther, Guerrero Maya Jr., Rey Cometa defeated Ephesto, Luciferno, Pierroth two falls to one

Yet again CMLL started this match off by playing the wrong entrance music and yet again all was forgotten by the end because everyone here exceeded expectations. Don’t get too excited though; my expectations for this match were that it was going to suck long and hard. The fact that it ended up being mediocre instead may mean it was better than I thought but doesn’t mean it was good. You don’t see people calling Batman Forever a great movie just because it was better than Batman and Robin, do you?

So why did this match work even slightly better than last week’s? Simple; unlike last week the technicos were actually allowed to do shit here. Guerrero Maya got a couple dives off, Blue Panther was feisty and Rey Cometa had the second most impressive feat of the night by diving from one side of the ring to the other and still hitting a perfect splash. He legit got that much air. With performances like that all the rudos needed to do was everything they didn’t do last week, which is exactly what happened. Even still there’s only so much that can be done with guys like Ephesto, Luciferno and Pierroth involved and CMLL still seems to not understand those guys doing much of anything (not involving Rush or Mephisto) is a bad idea. What do I mean? How about the fact that the post match activities clearly showed that CMLL’s setting up Ephesto vs. Guerrero Maya Jr. and, while I could be wrong, it gave off vibes that these two could be having a mask vs. mask match sometime soon. You read that right. I have no idea what possessed CMLL to do this feud and possibly that type of match between the two; maybe Ephesto is close to hanging them up, maybe CMLL wants to give Guerrero Maya a big win (something I do agree he deserves); hell maybe Paco is bored, threw darts at a bunch of names and they hit Maya and Ephesto’s. I don’t know; I just know that this match appears to be happening and that Guerrero Maya will be a straight up legend in my eyes if he can get a three star match out of Ephesto. I guess we’ll see, won’t we?

Ángel de Oro, Atlantis, Carístico defeated Euforia, Gran Guerrero, Niebla Roja two falls to one

This was the type of main event you get when an incredible match happened in the semi-main and these six just want to get out of dodge as quick as possible. The problem was there wasn’t an amazing semi-main tonight, meaning this quick match was just an underwhelming showcase of five individuals going through the motions. I say five because Ángel de Oro was remarkably still trying. Seriously; what happened to him in ROH? The guy was a solid unspectacular hand who came and went on the effort scale before going there; now he looks Volador fast at times, is trying new things and overall looks like one of the better dudes on the CMLL roster. Did he get bonus pay? Did he meet his future wife in the states? I need to know! Whatever the case he was very exciting in this match when he was allowed, which was sadly only for a few seconds before Carístico and Atlantis got their stuff in. So it goes with CMLL. Hey at least we got the Panthers/Drone vs. Los Cientificos and the dive of Star Jr.’s life! That’s more than can be said for last night.

This is the end beautiful friend. I shall return tomorrow to review LU and review the film JFK. I’m a jack of all trades as it were. Till then, the DUCHOVNY is out there. I really need to come up with new lines for that joke.

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