CMLL Tuesday Preview: Volador-Mephisto
Man CMLL must like us a little more than they did last week; not only are we getting a title match in Arena Puebla but this Tuesday in Arena Mexico CMLL has set up what may be an even bigger title match between its top technico and one of its top rudos. Sure the match has happened several times before (while the first match in Puebla is fresh) and it’s CMLL; no one other than WWE has the ability to turn a good thing into a steaming pile of Meet the Spartans faster than them. But for now the match at least looks like a winner, which is good because the rest of this card might as well be the New Found Glory song “Hit or Miss”. Get comfortable because that’s not the last lame joke I make along those lines. What am I talking about? Let’s find out. Moses; just meme it!
Fantasy & Shockercito vs. Pequeño Nitro & Pequeño Olímpico
What to Expect: Not a whole lot aside from a few cool Shockercito moments. I don’t quite understand why CMLL stuck him with Fantasy instead of the far more exciting (and reliable) Stukita, but then again I often don’t understand CMLL’s mindset at all. The best hope here is that Shockercito decides to have one of his greatest performances ever and everybody else comes along for the ride. Otherwise this will be your typical CMLL opener.
Winners: When in doubt, go with the rudos. They take it in three falls.
Estrellita, La Vaquerita, Marcela vs. Amapola, Tiffany, Zeuxis
What to Expect: THE QUEEN! Like Batman beating down Lex Luther’s men to save Martha Kent in Dawn of Justice, Zeuxis will come to save us all from what would otherwise be a dull as fuck match. Sadly it may turn out that way anyway considering Marcela and Amapola are the only other competent luchadoras here, with the rest ranging from bad (Estrellita) to lifeless (Vaquerita) to Taylor Lautner (Tiffany) levels of quality. If CMLL is wise something happens that leads to Estrellita, Vaquerita, Tiffany and Amapola (who sadly can’t work with any of these peeps other than Marcela) being taken out, leaving Marcela and Zeuxis to put on a half decent match for about fifteen minutes. Do it CMLL. This match here is otherwise not fit for a Queen.
Winners: Gotta love how CMLL is making me follow the rulebook to start this show; they know you always go with the rudos when in doubt and never, EVER bet against the Queen. Zeuxis wins this match for her team by pinning Marcela in the third fall, though if I had it my way she’d do what Soberano should do in Puebla tonight and pin every other luchadora in this match. All hail!
Esfinge, Fuego, Soberano Jr. vs. Morphosis, Okumura, Virus
What to Expect: Depending on how much Morphosis we’re getting this match could be the first of the night to have a chance of being pretty good. These are two good teams here sports fans. Esfinge may have terrible theme music and the stink of being over pushed, but he’s not bad and chances are he’ll be paired with Morphosis here anyway. That leaves Fuego (who should be more motivated now that he’s out of the first match doldrums) and Soberano to light it up with Okumura and Virus, the former of which is coming off one of his best performances this past Friday. Maybe I’m off base but I just got a good feeling about this one. If nothing else you can always fall back on Soberano doing one thing that makes you full George Takei.
Winners: Once more this should end with Soberano pinning everyone on the rudo team. Sadly it won’t, as I anticipate the rudos getting this one after Okumura hits a rope assisted DDT for the win in the third fall.
Ángel de Oro, Rey Cometa, Stuka Jr. vs. Ephesto, Gran Guerrero, Luciferno
What to Expect: This match should be starring John Cusack and Princess Vespa from Spaceballs. Why? Cause it’s a Sure Thing! I’ll see myself out.
Seriously, other than the main event this match is at worst destined to be pretty good, and that’s despite the fact that Ephesto and Luciferno have been getting on my nerves recently. It’s all about the technico team for me. Forget the fact that all three of them are good to great and just look at how they’ve been performing recently. Stuka had the best dive on the Friday show. Rey Cometa has been extra explosive as of late, almost like he’s finally motivated again for the first time since that Cavernario feud earlier this year. And I don’t know about you but I’m starting to get excited every time I see Ángel de Oro’s name mentioned ever since he found motivation and wings during his ROH stint. I think these three are primed for a big performance and, knowing that the rest of the card around them is hit and miss, will deliver the goods. All that’s left is for Gran Guerrero to do a few cool Gran Guerrero things and for Luciferno and Ephesto to not actively suck that badly. I know, it’s a challenge.
Winners: I really like the technicos team here. They’ll take it in three falls after Oro submits someone with the modified Billy Goat’s Curse.
Marco Corleone, Máximo Sexy, Titán vs. Máscara Año 2000, Rey Bucanero, Terrible
What to Expect: Oh…boy. This one is going to bother folks and it’s all about the first name you see on the rudo side. This isn’t the first time you’ll have seen Máscara Año 2000 in recent memory of course, as he just took part in Leyenda de Azul this past Friday and was part of CMLL’s Leyendas show all the way back in September. And that’s part of the problem; Año’s match at that show (which featured him teaming with brothers Cien Caras and Universo 2000 to take on El Canek, Rayo de Jalisco Jr. and Dos Caras) was one of the worst things to ever happen in recorded history, and I’m not even sugarcoating it. It was terrible, as was his follow up match with his bros a few weeks later. The only time I haven’t seen him be actively terrible was this past Friday, and that was largely because he was used sparingly, though I will admit he did look like he gave a shit far more than he had in the past. Combine that with the fact that he’s taking a spot a younger, better rudo like Euforia, Hechicero or Año’s own nephews Sansón and El Cuatrero could be in and it leaves us all giving Año the Dean Wormer stare.
It also really puts a damper on this match because you figure Año will be frequently involved, especially since the person he interacted with the most Friday (Máximo) is in the other corner. That’ll be just fine for Máximo and Marco, both who will be used a ton to help bring some entertainment to the interactions with Año. It won’t however be fun for Bucanero, who isn’t suited to face any of the technicos save Titán, Terrible, who won’t have nearly the freedom to do stuff he did Friday and most importantly Titán, who I feel will get maybe one spot here at best and nothing else. The bottom line is I’m not looking forward to this match and neither should you. Our best hope is that it’s just a one off and CMLL isn’t looking to set anything up for Año with this match.
Winners: Which brings us to the part where I go full Rob Viper and let the negativity flow through me. That’s right folks…I’m guessing they’re using this match to set up a singles for Año, and it’ll be (double gulp) a CMLL World Heavyweight Championship match against Máximo. Yes you read that right; I’m predicting 58 year old Máscara Año 2000 will beat Máximo in fall three of this match, challenge Máximo for a title match next week and get it. I know; I’m a horrible person who never should’ve mentioned that even as a reverse jinx. I will now go into the corner and pray to Grodd that this doesn’t come to fruition.
NWA World Historic Welterweight Championship Match
Volador Jr. (c) vs. Mephisto
What to Expect: Without a doubt the match CMLL is using to draw people in Tuesday and as close to a sure thing for match of the evening as you can get. How good it will be will depend on your mileage however. Much like Rush vs. Último Guerrero and Volador vs. Último Guerrero, this isn’t a first time match up. In fact it’s not even the first time Volador and Mephisto have wrestled each other for this title, with Mephisto challenging Volador for the Historic Welterweight belt twice (with matches happening within the last year). Thus if you’ve seen both of those matches recently or remember them vividly then chances are this match will, at best, only get to pretty good status. Fortunately for me I haven’t seen either of those matches recently and thus am expecting to be pretty impressed. You also cannot count out Volador at all in a big match; the man is money, the whole money and nothing but the money and I see no reason to believe he’ll be any different here. It’s just a question of how much stuff he’s willing to pull out of his bag of tricks to make this match something more than a decent Tuesday night main event.
Winner: Mephisto already has two championships of his own and unless CMLL has plans for him to put someone over soon I can’t imagine they’re adding a third to the mix. So expect Volador to win this one in three falls; I’ll say he takes this with the Reverse Frankensteiner. He hasn’t pulled that one out in awhile last I checked, so Tuesday should be a good place for it.
This is the end, beautiful friends. I’ll be back later with a review of tonight’s CMLL and possibly a preview of Wednesday’s Lucha Underground, depending on if I can fit it in. If not, that preview will drop tomorrow. Till next time, DUCHOVNY bomb!