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CMLL Puebla Preview: Zeuxis-Sugehit
Last night I was supposed to write a preview for tonight’s CMLL show in Arena Puebla. As you can see, that did not happen. Why? One, I knew I could bang it out early today and still get a lot of much needed pub for the big Zeuxis-Princesa Sugehit match happening tonight. Two, I really just wanted to watch How I Met Your Mother while doing absolutely nothing else. Hey, I’m a lazy human being with lazy human being needs; I don’t judge you for having them do I? And in any event the column is right here; ready to break down this Puebla show that’s pretty much Zeuxis vs. Sugehit and nothing else. This is great because I love Zeuxis, I really like Sugehit and this match is going to be off the chain. What are we waiting for; let’s get previewing! Moses, get that meme up to distract people from the fact that there’s no song till the second match. You’ll see what I mean dear reader; you’ll see.
Centella Roja & Hijo de Centella Roja vs. El Perverso & Sombra Diabólika
What to Expect: It’s the all Centella Roja special! And Grodd help me for saying this but I’m actually not dreading it. Why; because both Centella Roja and his son were pretty good the last time I saw them. Sure it wasn’t together and it doesn’t negate how they generally make me wish I was watching 2016 AAA instead, but still! They’re making progress, and I’m not talking about that promotion Triple H is trying to covertly put out of business. They also have a pretty decent rudo to work with in Sombra Diabólika this week, a luchador who has proven to be pretty reliable in his few Puebla appearances (the same cannot be said about El Perverso, though he is capable). In short, the Rojas have a chance to keep the momentum going and prove that maybe there is hope for them after all. Of course now that I’ve praised them for one whole paragraph the likelihood is they’ll shit the bed, Perverso will simultaneously shit the bed, Sombra will also somehow shit the bed and I, in a fit of rage, will throw shit onto someone’s bed. It’s the circle of rage quit really.
Winners: When in doubt, go with the Centella Roja’s. They take it in three falls.
Black Tiger, Espíritu Maligno, Millenium vs. Apocalipsis, Inquisidor, Policeman
What to Expect: Finally; a chance for me to break out my Kiss announcer impression. ALRIGHT ARENA PUEBLA!!!!!! YOU WANTED THE WORST; YOU GOT THE WORST! THE MOST LUKEWARM FEUD IN LUCHA LIBRE; ESPÍRITU MALIGNO VS. POLICEMAN!
Grodd that felt good; sadly it’s the only thing that will feel good about this match. The inexplicable Policeman/Maligno feud that will not die continues to not die, only now they’ve dragged the ultra boring Black Tiger, the ultra terrible Apocalipsis, the ultra “WHY CAN’T YOU BE MORE LIKE YOUR BROTHER?!” luchador Inquisidor and Millenium, who actually is pretty good. That makes it all the sadder when the most interesting thing about this match is me wondering what the hell he deserved to get put into it. Alas he’s here, he won’t be getting a whole lot of time and we’ll be subjected to about fifteen minutes of mediocre wrestling while Maligno and Policeman continue to go absolutely nowhere with their feud. At one point I thought we’d be getting that hair vs. hair match between the two by now; now I’m expecting it won’t happen until July, by which point I’ll have reached a new level of not giving a single solitary fuck about this match. I’m actually kind of excited for it.
Winners: You know the drill; Maligno never wins and Policeman always wins. This trend continues with Policeman once again beating Maligno to secure his team the victory in fall three. Ho…hum.
Fuego, Pegasso, Soberano Jr. vs. Misterioso Jr., Skándalo, Toro Bill Jr.
What to Expect: The first sign of life on this show, which is partially sad considering Skándalo is involved. Ignore that though and look at all the other signs of goodness. Soberano is back! Fuego is back! Pegasso is the third best technico on his team (always his best spot). Misterioso is here to continue his sneaky good feud with Soberano. And don’t look now but Toro Bill Jr. appears to be moving up in the world, getting a rare opportunity to work the third match of the night AND work it without his best buddy Rey Apocalipsis (I guess Apocalipsis being on this show means there can only be one Apocalipsis per show. What a lame rule). Short of Pegasso and Skándalo having a fifteen minute sequence together there’s no way this match is going to be bad. Whether it will be good or not depends on if Soberano and Misterioso continue their issues and show the same chemistry they did in Arena Mexico a few weeks ago.
Winners: You never know considering the Soberano-Misterioso issues could be involved, but my best guess is that they save the juicy stuff in that feud for the Arena Mexico shows. Thus I expect the rudos to go over relatively clean here, with Misterioso submitting Soberano (to the dismay of everyone on the internet) and Toro Bill doing the same to Fuego. I know; great night for Toro Bill!
Mexican National Women’s Championship Match
Princesa Sugehit (c) vs. Zeuxis
What to Expect: The match that should be the main event…but isn’t because that would make sense and we can’t have that! Well at least it’s the main event to me, and that’s most important right? The story behind this one is simple; Sugehit and the Queen hate each other, they fight a lot and Zeuxis beats Sugehit a lot. That is, she did until Sugehit fluked into a title victory in Arena Coliseo a few weeks ago, ending the Queen’s 768 day reign as Mexican National Women’s Champion. Even worse, she then successfully defended the title against Zeuxis this past weekend in what I can only assume was another fluke because, hey, this is Zeuxis we’re talking about. All this leads up to Arena Puebla, where Zeuxis hopes to get her revenge and Sugehit hopes to get another fluke that leads to me writing her angry letters because YOU NEVER GET THE BEST OF The QUEEN! DAMN YOU SUGEHIT!
Now that I’ve finished rage quitting fan boy style, let’s take a moment to get really excited about this match. It’s very rare for a CMLL match with luchadoras to really get you excited, but this is different. You all know I love Zeuxis and for good reason; I think she’s the best luchadora alive today (sorry Taya), I think she’s one of the best women’s wrestlers alive today and along with Tritón she’s the most unappreciated luchador(a)/wrestler on planet Earth right now. She’s sensational. The problem is she rarely gets to go up against someone who can keep up with her skill wise. Sugehit is an exception; she’s not at Zeuxis’ level but she’s quietly very good in her own right, and the two have developed a really nice chemistry with each other over the past year. Combine that with the very real possibility that these two are on their way to a mask vs. mask match in the next couple of months and there’s a lot to get excited about with this match. Unless something goes horribly wrong, I expect this to be the best match of the night easily and most importantly I expect it to be great. It’s a travesty this isn’t the main event tonight, but maybe these two can bring the house down so much that CMLL has no choice but to give them the closing match when the masks are eventually up for grabs.
Winner: I’m going to get all fan boy again here. Sugehit just won the championship a few weeks ago, and CMLL is a place where title chances don’t happen for years, let alone weeks later. But I cannot find it in me to go against the Queen of Lucha; she’s my favorite after all! So against all common sense and rationality I’m picking Zeuxis to win that Mexican National Women’s Championship for the second time, defeating Sugehit with a top rope Spanish Fly in the third fall. Please note that if this happens, you will never EVER hear the end of it for me; I’ll be more annoying than Rob Viper after one of those rare instances he turns out to be right.
Marco Corleone, Matt Taven, Volador Jr. vs. Euforia, Gran Guerrero, Último Guerrero
What to Expect: A wild decent trios match appears! My only problem with this match is that it’s in Arena Puebla, which as I consistently try to point out means you’re getting more restrictions and less exciting stuff than you would in Arena Mexico. The good news is that all these guys are good enough to have a solid match anyway, and Matt Taven strikes me as the kind of guy who will do one super cool thing anyway because he’s Matt Taven and he seems to really, REALLY like working for CMLL. Really, all I ask for is that he gives me one of those over the rope suicide dives of his onto Big Euf will Volador has one great sequence and Marco does Marco shit. Oh, and I’d also like one of those awesome finishers from Gran Guerrero that he broke out last week. We get that and I’ll be just fine with this shindig.
Winners: It be a lot of help if I knew Taven was sticking around past this week; if he is, I say he sneaks out a victory here over UG and then challenges UG to a rematch from H2L in Puebla next week. As that isn’t the case though, I say he and UG end up not being involved in the decision at all, with Marco instead crushing Big Euf with a crossbody while Volador hits a Super Rana on Gran Guerrero to give the technicos a three fall victory.
Diamante Azul, Mr. Niebla, Terrible vs. La Máscara, Pierroth, Rush
What to Expect: When I saw that the Super Viernes card for this Friday did not feature Pierroth and Diamante Azul squaring off I felt white hot joy surge through me. Then I remembered that they were still on opposite sides for Puebla and I immediately turned into this.
Turns out that before we can move on to the glorious post Diamante-Pierroth era, we must go through one more painfully average trios match involving the two. The best thing I can say is that it could be significantly worse; Pierroth has at least been mediocre since losing his mask and I’ll always have a soft spot for Diamante Azul on account of the five cool things he does (how about that diving clothesline from the ramp to the ring?!). It doesn’t hurt that this match happened last week and was just fine, nor does it hurt that Rush (who is starting to get into decent form again), Máscara, Niebla and Terrible will be here to class things up. It won’t be great, it’ll be a slog to get through in some regards and why it’s headlining over Zeuxis-Sugehit is a mystery that will haunt me till this mortal coil has had enough of my pop culture loving ass. But it could be worse. Not much worse, but it could be.
Winners: Ah what the hell; let’s get one last screwy Diamante-Pierroth finish in for the road. The technicos win by DQ in three falls after Pierroth low blows and unmasks Diamante, followed by rematch challenges that lead to another singles match between the two because this will never be over and WHY GOD WHY?! WHY?!
Alright I’ve calmed down…I think. Alas the column is over anyway and I’m off to beat Uncharted 2 before coming back to preview tomorrow’s Tuesday show later this afternoon. Fun times for all. Till we meet again, THIS!