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Does This Gun Make My Ass Look Fat?

Updated on July 6, 2011


Cheap ammo -Blazer - Can cause a revolver to malfunction. When the gun recoils after a shot is fired, this bullet went forward. It jammed the gun
Cheap ammo -Blazer - Can cause a revolver to malfunction. When the gun recoils after a shot is fired, this bullet went forward. It jammed the gun | Source
It would have been the next bullet to fire, but it jammed the works. Had to pull the bullet out with pliers to get the gun to work.
It would have been the next bullet to fire, but it jammed the works. Had to pull the bullet out with pliers to get the gun to work. | Source

Does this gun make my ass look fat?

My wife and I both carry handguns –legally- here in Florida. She never really said the quote about the gun making her ass look fat, but she’s been thinking it. It’s a chore to get her to carry when she goes out for walks. By finding the right gun and the right holster, she’s able to protect herself if needs be and having her armed really eases my mind.

More and more women are legally carrying handguns for self protection these days. In addition to getting good shooting training and knowing the law; a gun can only keep you safe if you have it with you. Of course for women it’s always a great option to carry your handgun in your purse. The only negatives of that are having your roscoe fall out while you look for coupons at the supermarket. I’ve seen it and it does get attention! Concealed carry means exactly that – the gun must be hidden from all view or else you may be cited for disturbing the public – or worse. The other hazard is that like everything else in your purse, it’s going to fall to the bottom and get covered with chewing gum, lipstick and hard to find when you need it. Fortunately, there are many solutions to any and all problems associated with being an armed female. Carrying a gun is a responsibility as well as a right so it’s important to know all of the applicable laws (consult with your attorney) and only good training (NRA certified instructors) can aid in keeping yourself and your family safe. Having gotten the official parts out of the way let’s get to the fun; and yes, shooting can be loads of fun!

            First let’s take a look at what caliber gun to buy. Almost every time I spend any time in a gun store, this conversation comes up. There will never be an end to the “bigger is better” argument. Some of those bigger guns weigh up to 3 lbs when loaded and they’re too big to conceal in anything smaller than American Tourister luggage. I’m 200 lbs and I hate carrying the big guns, they drag down my belt and show through almost anything short of a winter coat. Unlike the old days when all guns were steel and weighed at least 2 pounds; today there are multiple choices that are smaller and lighter marketed directly to and for women.

My operating principle is to get the lightest gun available. My wife and I carry a variety of guns and they’re all light enough to be put in a pocket or concealed under a T-Shirt. I have a .22 caliber automatic, a .32 caliber automatic and a 9mm caliber automatic. Caliber refers to the diameter of the bullet a .22 caliber is 22/100ths of an inch, a .380 is 38/100ths of an inch. I also have a couple of .38 caliber snub nose revolvers, oddly enough their diameter is .357’s of an inch. The “J” frame Smith and Wesson and similar offerings from Charter arms, Rossi and others would be my recommendation to any new shooter. With a revolver, you load it with 5 or 6 (or more) rounds and when you pull the trigger it will fire every time. If there is a misfire, you just pull the trigger again and a fresh bullet will be available. There are a minimum of moving parts and no external safeties to bother with. Most new revolvers come with a key locking system to render the gun inoperable when not in use but wouldn’t be set when you’re carrying on your person.  Shooting an automatic is more complicated than a revolver but offer more rounds in the gun and the option of adding more rounds via a magazine if needed. A note on that: the old FBI rule of thumb for a gunfight is 3, 3 and 3. That means within 3 yards, it’s over in 3 seconds and 3 rounds are fired. That was before guns carried 19 rounds and people shoot everything in the gun. Even so, it’s a good guideline. You don’t have to have a gun that will shoot a quarter at 25 yards, or have a gun that shoots 19 rounds. If you want to get into it that much, go ahead, it’s truly a challenge you will enjoy. Most of us only need to practice out to 20 feet or so. It’s hard to justify shooting a fleeing criminal, let alone shooting one 50 yards away when they no longer pose a threat to you.

Today, polymer (plastic) gun parts help keep the weight down to less than a pound for guns of most calibers. Many of the larger gun stores even have selections of guns that come in shades of pink and some have pink grips. Before you decide on what gun to buy, here’s a tip. The first rule of a gunfight is to bring a gun*. I tell all women (and most men) that it means getting something that is light, small and reliable! Many ‘old school’ shootists will tell you that the only real self defense guns start with a ‘4’.

They feel that anything less than a .40 or .45 caliber isn’t a true “man-stopper”. Many old timers scoff at 9mm and .38 calibers, or heaven forbid a .32 and will talk down to the women (or man) who considers these or lesser calibers. The good news is that more and more gun stores have female salespeople and trainers. A .32 may not be the best choice, but mine carries 10 shots weighs less than the magazine of my .45

Shop where you’re comfortable, this is one of those really important decisions that may affect your life. It is a crime to leave a gun where a child can get access to it. I have a collection of heartbreaking headlines of how kids have shot themselves or their friends with the gun that was supposed to keep the family safe. Gun safes, trigger locks and locked drawers are the best deterrent to a child coming across your gun. Hiding it doesn’t work. Kids snoop, its part of what they do. I’ve met cops who keep their guns under their mattresses and I’ve taken them to task on that practice. When my grandson was younger I could get away with putting my 9mm Kel Tec (11 ounces –unloaded) on a top shelf. Now that he’s 4, and climbing up on the bed, etc. I’ve locked everything securely in my safe when the kids visit. As another note, FBI statistics years ago stated that over 225,000 guns are stolen every year. Locking up your guns makes sense. I would be devastated to know that one of my guns was used to shoot a cop or a citizen. I’m sure you would be too.

OK, so you’ve got your gun, practiced with it; gotten your concealed license and you’re ready to go. What to wear, what to wear? Holster selection is an ongoing challenge. I have a box of holsters that I may or may not use again. When my wife complains, I remind her of her shoe and purse collection. Galco and many other holster supply companies have tons of holster selections and, for the ladies there are supple, comfortable and stylish purses with special partitions for your gun. They are excellent but a bit pricy. Purse carry is fine most of the time, but when it’s not, here are some other options to consider. Ankle holsters are available from many makers and are a favorite of NY cops for some reason. I’ve worn one and liked it, but it too is relegated to “the box.’ Shoulder holsters are now made with women’s shapes in mind but have to be worn with a jacket or other covering. Belt holsters go either inside the waistband (IWB) or outside the waistband (OWB). A fanny pack screams either “Tourist” or “Gun Inside” depending on where you buy one. I’ve got a few of those in the box too and the one’s I really like are the low profile touristy types. There are also different materials to shelter your new BFF; The heavy leather of the old days is now stronger, thinner and lighter. There are ultra thin, ultra light plastic holsters like Kydex by Fobus and now many others and it adds almost no weight and no thickness to the gun and is good for concealed carry. The plastic sheets are vacuum formed to your exact model gun and come in every holster style imaginable. There are 6 million Americans legally walking around with guns, most of them in holsters of some type. Unfortunately a bad choice of a gun and a lousy holster will keep it consigned to the dresser or the top of the refrigerator. Either place isn’t going to help protect you from some attacker in the parking lot of your grocery store. The best gun in the world is the one you have on your person when trouble strikes.

* Actually if you knew there was going to be gunplay the best thing would be to stay away.

This Hub is not concerned with the never ending battle of pro-gun versus anti-gun. Obviously I’m pro-gun. I’m also pro-responsibility. I understand the stance of the people who “don’t believe in guns”, I also disagree with them. There are 250,000,000 guns in American homes. Belief or not, they exist. I don’t believe in rape, car jacking and murder. Might does make right - or wrong; it just depends on who has the might. Only when people get familiar with guns does the fear melt away. While in the Air Force I had a group of Explorer Scouts shooting M-60 and .50 caliber machine guns and they loved it. I also took a 6 year old to a shooting range because he was always talking about guns, He fired a couple of shots from a real gun (Uzi) and sort of lost interest in much of the manic behavior he had exhibited. Shooting guns is more fun than many can imagine. Plinking is a tradition passed down from father to son in many American families. If you’re still worried about the gun making your ass look fat, try vertical stripes; I’ve been told that they’re very slimming. One quick tip is to practice wearing the gun around the house for a while before venturing out. If it’s on your waist and you need to use the toilet at Wal-Mart, it’s embarrassing to ask the person in the next stall to kick the gun back to you because you forgot about it when you opened your belt!…..Eddie


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    • Jack Burton profile image

      Jack Burton 

      6 years ago from The Midwest

      I love my Keltec P-32 for concealed carry. Disappears into the front pocket holster and no one would even guess it is there.

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      A word of advice, avoid buying cheap ammo from swapmeets or yard sales, especially if this ammo is to be used for self-defence ! I made the mistake once of buying cheap reloaded .38 special ammo from a local swapmeet !One bullet stuck in the barrel of my gun as it had hardly any gun powder ! Some(amateur) reloaded ammo can be very dangerous as it may have been loaded as a magnum, a great way to blow up that .38 of yours or God forbid loose a finger or it eye !Stick with quality factory loaded ammo, if you need to practice buy a qualiy .22 either revolver as a Taurus model 94 or a quality automatic such as a Ruger MK II or III .

    • Carrie Hollister profile image

      Carrie Hollister 

      7 years ago from Ohio

      Ohio has concealed carry and we also have the Castle Doctrine. The laws vary by state so please don't forget to check the laws of the state you may be traveling to or even through.

      Excellent article! Voted up! Thank you for this piece! (DOUBLE PUNS INTENDED)!

    • Seldon55 profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Somewhere in Florida

      You know, one of my goals in my hubs was to approve all replies, good and bad. I'm embarrassed (and humbled) that so far, all feedback on this one has been positive. I thank you all.

      For those who may read this and not "believe in guns" or think the world would be better off without guns, please weigh in with your comments. I promise to be fair and not berate or insult ANYONE who comments on this, and my other blogs...Eddie

    • profile image

      jami l. pereira 

      7 years ago

      Voted up , awesome and useful ! I carry a tech9 mm. and i also have a .38 spc. , ive been divorced now 9 years (almost) and i dont leave home without one or the other , i'll tell you why ...right after my divorce , i thought i would go out and have a few drinks , i drank too much and upon leaving i opened my truck door and a dude came up behind me , my pistol was under my driver seat , he turned me around facing the inside of the truck , i reached for the pistol and shot him , someone called 911 , end of story , it happens all the time ,i think all women should carry one . Voted up and awesome and useful!!:)

    • rulalenska profile image

      Rula Lenski 

      7 years ago from USA

      Excellent hub, sir!

    • readytoescape profile image


      8 years ago from Central Florida


      Hey I enjoyed this one, very informative for those that aren’t in the know. Personally I say forget the stripes, get a Desert Eagle. Nothing can slim down that ass like seven pounds of steel with a huge gaping bore!

      If you get the convertible version you can look great for all occasions, whether dancing at the drive-by disco or just causally strolling the back alleys, you’ll be able to shoot with style and grace in three different calibers, .357 .44 and .50 with perfect accuracy and indomitable stopping power.

      Sorry, just funning a bit, it’s the redneck in me. Great Hub.

    • Seldon55 profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Somewhere in Florida

      Thanks for your comments Sue, and you're right the engraved LCP is a good looking gun and power in a small package. Regarding .380 cal even .22 or .32 calibers can work if that's what someone has. And you can practice cheaply with a .22. I have a Walther P-22 and carry it sometimes. I feel a tad under gunned but I'll just shoot that until I can get to my big gun. Regarding the pepper spray and tazer options. I agree with you. Mace is like Binaca to some weirdos. However, for a stray dog or very obnoxious but not deadly or kids busting your chops. I carry a collapsible (police style) baton for less than deadly. Just as a reminder to everyone- DO NOT SHOOT ANYONE UNLESS LIFE DEPENDS ON IT! Have fun practicing with your .380 and I hope you never have to use it for what it's intended for -if you do -shoot until the threat stops....Eddie

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      I bought the 380 acp ruger lcp, I had my eye on a gorgeous beretta but would up settling for the engraved edition lcp. Wasn't my first choice but when my husband make me realize that a big gun didn't make sense for me seeing as I carry clutches instead of purses and I have zero body fat making it impossible to conceal unless I planned on wearing my furs year round I came back to earth. The lcp is perfect for my tiny hands, thin enough to conceal on my hip under a tank top or in the small of my back, and since it's light weight it doesn't make my pants droop lol. The kel tech was another great option for me, but alas I'm a woman and the fancy engraving and gorgeous finish got the best of me and my wallet. lol. I take offence to the pepper spray comment. I watched my brother in law get maced when he was going into DOP and it didn't stop him and neither did the tazer. In this time and date of lack of fathers and husbands it's a womans place to properly protect herself. Personally I wouldn't be comfortable carrying anything under a 380 acp. I know what's out there, and I will never be a victim of violent crime ever again. Besides It's a nice thing to be able to walk comfortably down a city street alone and KNOW your safe. I live in pcb and I can get a pizza delivered quicker than I can get a cop. I took the time to learn about my gun before I even bought it, much less target shoot. This is a great article. I wish more women would stop being afraid of guns. After all which is worse carrying protection, or being raped and having your throat slit?

    • Christopher Price profile image

      Christopher Price 

      8 years ago from Vermont, USA

      Revisiting this hub I must say I envy the owner of the Taurus "Judge". That is the best self defense weapon on the market today...such a variety of ammo to cover any situation...kinda "spin and win"!

      It's hard for me, being a Vermont native, to relate to someone who needs X-hours of instruction. I accompanied my father on rabbit hunts when I was three years old and the snow was waist high...for me anyway!

      But I absolutely insist that new gun owners totally familiarize themselves with their "tools".

      This is still a good hub. I await more.

      Write on.


    • Seldon55 profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Somewhere in Florida

      Thank you Lisa. I'm not sure about the laws in Ohio but a local gun shop. I always try to put humor in what I write but I'm very serious about safety. Check with a NRA trainer and then practice, practice practice...Stay safe....Eddie

    • lisadpreston profile image


      8 years ago from Columbus, Ohio

      Hi. First of all this was hilarious. I know it is a serious subject but you sure have us women pegged. Yes, I would wonder if my gun made my ass look fat! And yes, it would fall out of my overpacked purse at the checkout counter. I would probably forget to put the safety on and shoot myself paying for dinner while searching for my credit card! But seriously I am thinking of getting a gun. Crime is getting really bad in my neighborhood. I don't know what the laws are here in Ohio but I do want a gun for the house. I will be responsible and learn how to shoot and practice gun safety. I will refer to this hub when I go gun shopping. Thanks for an informative and entertaining hub.

    • Seldon55 profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Somewhere in Florida

      Thank you for your input on this too. Like you, I'm not into just giving anyone the ability to carry. I've spent countless hours being trained and training others. I try to tell people NEVER to pull out their gun unless life depends on it. Take my stuff, I'll get more. You to are on the path to responsible self reliance...Thanks...Eddie

    • profile image

      Old Poolman 

      8 years ago

      Great hub Seldon. I live in Arizona and have had a concealed carry permit for many years. Arizona recently passed a new law where anyone over 21 without a criminal record can now carry concealed without a permit. I have very mixed feelings about this new law. To obtain my concealed carry permit I was required to sit through an 8 hour class, which primarily drove home the legal implications if a permit holder ever draws and uses their weapon. Even if it is a perfectly justified shooting and the law agrees with you, you can still expect a civil suit which will cost you in excess of $10,000. Is my life worth $10K? I think it is and would not hesitate to use my carry weapon if it became necessary.

      I regularly shoot in competition at my local gun club, and I use a full size 1911 9mm for this. I was constantly changing carry weapons until I received some advice from a fellow match shooter. He is a retired Marine Corp Col, and taught at Gunsite for several years after he retired from the Corp. His advice was that I purchase and use a smaller version of the 1911 I use for practice and competition, so everything is in exactly the same place. As he puts it, the steering wheel, clutch, and brakes are exactly the same, only smaller. By doing this I don't waste precious seconds in a stressful situation trying to remember what weapon I am carrying that day. My wife also has a CCW permit, and I have her carry a Taurus Judge. The first two rounds are .410 shot shells, and the remainder are the .45 long colt. She is not into shooting like I am, but has practiced with the Taurus until I was confident she could handle it, and hit what she was shooting at.

      The choices in handguns today are mind blowing. I would never order a gun unless I could hold it in my hand and make sure it was a good fit for me. For pure reliability, I would suggest a revolver for a person who doesn't do a lot of practicing and is familiar with changing mags or clearing jams.

      The confusing part of concealed carry is when it is legal to use your weapon. It is only to be used if you are in fear of losing your life. If you use it to keep someone from stealing your vehicle you will lose in court.

      I readily accept the added responsibility and liability for carrying a weapon, and rarely leave home without it.

      My CCW instructor stated repeatedly, "the weapon you carry is protect yourself and those you love, and that is all".

      I also like the saying, "beware of the man who only owns one gun because he knows how to use it".

      You write a very informitive hub, keep up the good work.


    • jeanie.stecher profile image


      8 years ago from Seattle

      Well, I agree with you Seldon. If one has a gun, he or she must train with it and shoot regularly. After all, its not the gun, its the man behind the gun. But for starters, I would suggest a pepper spray or stun gun in their bags first. These are easy to use and simple to operate.

    • Christopher Price profile image

      Christopher Price 

      8 years ago from Vermont, USA


      My PT145 is resting in its holster less than 3 paces away.

      Good man!


    • Seldon55 profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Somewhere in Florida

      Thanks for weighing in on this. I just got rid of a Taurus 605/85 .357 revolver because it's too heavy. I do have a PT145 that is only 22 oz empty. I will put some pics in soon. Thanks again...Eddie

    • Christopher Price profile image

      Christopher Price 

      8 years ago from Vermont, USA

      Good hub Eddie.

      Self defense is just self reliance and being prepared for the worst case scenario.

      I am partial to the Taurus brand, they have always had the lifetime guarantee, was the first manufacturer to have the key locking system and most of their semi-autos still have easily operated safeties for safer one-in-the-chamber carry.

      Photos would be a good touch in a hub like this, but I definitely give it thumbs up.

      And is that a pistol in my pocket, or am I just happy to see you?



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