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Having Gatorade Poured Over My Head Does Not Make Me Feel Good

Updated on January 4, 2014

I believe it was the New York Giants in 1985 that gave their coach the first ever Gatorade bath. Jim Burt claims to have dumped Gatorade on Bill Parcells after the Giants beat the Redskins 17-3. He was angry over the way Parcell's had treated him during the week. That's right i said ANGRY. Why else would you throw an ice cold bucket of fluid over a person's head in cold weather. But apparently Bill Parcells found this just as amusing as his player's did. Or at least was able to tolerate it when his beloved linebackers Harry Carson or Lawrence Taylor were the culprits.

Here we are however 28 years later and I see Nick Saban of Alabama getting dumped on after winning the National Championship. Irritated, annoyed, maybe even somewhat angry himself are words that describe the look on Saban's face upon the Gatorade hitting the back of his shirt. I don't care what any coach says about them. THEY DON'T LIKE THEM. I guarantee any coach at any level would prefer a thousand different ways of celebrating a victory OTHER THAN the Gatorade bath. How about a trip to the concession stand for an ice cold beer delivered to the sideline. Or a new team jacket to help keep him warm in the freezing cold weather. Even giving him a CIA like escort off the field so that no reporter could hassel him would be a huge improvement over this current foolishness.

Upon being hired as a coach of a football team, my first task on my new job would be a team meeting where I announce that ANYONE who throws gatorade on me will be immediately cut from the team. This might have been mildly amusing back in the 80's and 90's but now it just makes football players look even more brainless than some of them already are. As was the case back in 1985, I could only see the action as an insult; as someone who wants to see me made publicly uncomfortable. I'd really like to see a coach have one of his assistants dump Gatorade on one of his least favorite players at the end of an important win. And walk up to him immediately thereafter with the words "HOW DO YOU LIKE IT ASS HOLE!" I can only hope it would put an end to 28 years of wasted Gatorade.

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