ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How To Name Your Fantasy Football Team

Updated on May 3, 2009

Naming Your Fantasy team


It's time to get signed up for your fantasy draft. And there's only one thing MORE important than studying for your fantasy draft: picking a team name! Why more important? Well, ya simply have to pick a team name when you register. Them's the rules, see?

As this annual late summer / early fall ritual approaches, Maximum Fantasy Sports thought it'd be a good idea to run down some of the many unwritten rules of fantasy football team names. We'll start with the common mistakes:


1. Naming after the kid:

It's always a bad idea to name your squad after your son or daughter. No matter how cute, please don't call your fearsome group of competitors "Lil' Benji's Boys." Heck, don't even name your kid Benji unless you're trying out some sort of "Boy-Named-Sue" crap in a home experiment. It was just a song, man.

2. For that matter, strange symbols:

I messed up a buddy's fantasy football draft software one year because I thought it'd be cute to stuff a trademark symbol into my team name. You know, the little TM symbol? Clever, right? It wasn't so clever when the draft bombed out and I got blamed for the whole deal. Skip the non-standard characters. This brings on...

3. ...emoticons:

Honest-to-god, you should know this already. But here goes if you don't: you know when nobody's looking and you type that cute text symbol for winking with the semicolon and a dash and a parenthesis and you send it to your woman (ladies, think "guy" here)? Please don't try anything that cute in a fantasy football name. You'll be branded with a short word that rhymes with "fay" and starts with a "g." Don't even think about testing this theory.

4. Four-letter words:

I'm not talking "Rams" or "Jets" here, though those words have pissed off many a fantasy owner in recent years. I'm talking about words you wouldn't be able to say in public without looking to see if the cops were around. Don't do it. Stick with "$%#'ing Detroit Lions" instead. We'll get the drift.

5. Actual team names:

Don't use actual team names. You are simply the most boring human alive if you cannot come up with something better than simply copying the name "Arizona Cardinals." Even if "Jaguars," sounds cool, come up with some kind of play on that name. And please don't use team names from other sports either.

6. Changing your name:

All right, this one doesn't actually apply to coming up with a name as much as it does changing that name every couple weeks because you came up with such a putrid placeholder of a name in the first place. If you end up changing your team name every couple freaking weeks in response to every fantasy sports injury or news item that crosses your mind, you'll piss off plenty of other team owners who might even be your friends just because you're so freakingly annoying. Most of us don't have enough brain cells left to remember our own team names, never mind your chameleon squad. Pick a name and stick with it. Unless of course it breaks one of the 5 rules above. In that case, change it, and fast.

SOME Do’s:

1. Alliteration:

Yep: a grammar term. Alliteration-the art of using words that all start with the same letter-is very frequently cool. As a matter of fact, it's so cool, most of the best professional squads have some form of alliteration in their names or nicknames. Take the "Bronx Bombers" or the "Mississippi Mud Hens." And the "Monsters of the Midway" should ring a few bells, not to mention the "Seattle Seahawks" and the "Jacksonville Jaguars." Alliteration just sounds better. Which reminds me...?

2. ...rhyming:

It's not just bad rappers and Baptist preachers that come off sounding smarter when things rhyme: you can too. Why do you think people call themselves "Packer Backers," or-in my personal taste-"Packer Smackers?" Or how about the "Freaky Deakies?" While not an actual team name (yet), the "Throbbin' Robbins" might do well for bird-oriented teams. Or pervs.

3. One-off metaphors:

We all think we're cool when we come up with a metaphor, don't we? Like...using a rock band name, or an obscure cultural reference. But don't be pleased with your handiwork if the Cowboys fan in you simply calls your football squad the "Lone Stars." Try to get creative with your metaphor, something one-off, like the "Marion's Scissors." (If you don't get this one, try studying your pre-draft rankings.) The year Emmitt Smith broke Walter Payton's record, my squad was named "Tripping Emmitt." I'm not braggin', mind you-he broke the freakin' record after all-but I'm just saying, get creative.

4. Adding geography:

You live in a different area than most of the other team owners? How about throwing in something relevant about where you're from. The "Des Moines Dung Beetles" is a nice image, isn't it? Or the "Springfield Sackers" is the start of a brainstorm. Worth noting is that this leads into another cool team name concept...

5. ...Famous names in fake pop culture:

The longest running sitcom on the planet has the "Springfield Isotopes," and we've all heard of the Bad News Bears. While it's not particularly clever to completely co-opt a famous pop-culture reference, it's not a bad start for a combined metaphor. Something along the lines of the "Springfield Isotoners" or the "Dirty Harry's Dirty Carries."

6. Using foreign designations:

Although simple in concept, I'm a big fan of pulling in elements from afar. Like a fellow in a league I'm in who decided to pull the "FC" from a European "football club" (I know, they only use their feet...what's the old saying...If god wanted us to play soccer, he wouldn't have given us hands?) to create the "FC (team name)." Simple, clever, don't have to worry about needing to change it throughout the year. And there's plenty more out there where that came from.



    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      always use words that go like my teams name ravers united whitch has a cool name cuz of the soundings


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)