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I don't care for football nor fly like a cheesehead
FLY LIKE A CHEESEHEAD
It is the 7th of January, 2011 and it has come to my attention that the Green Bay Packers have won the Super Bowl. Having the dubious honor of living in Wisconsin I supposed I should want to fly like a cheesehead too. ( I am not sure I really want to go up to a guy as mean as a football player and call him a cheesehead but to each his own I suppose.) When I get to work later there will be no shortage of folks who will be happy to tell me all about the game since I didn’t see it but to be honest, I couldn’t care less.
Let me explain that I do know about football. It is a simple game really. Two teams face each other on the field and fight over this strange looking brown ball. First of all, the ball isn’t even round so you can’t dribble the thing at all and if it hits the ground there is no telling which direction it is going to bounce. The ball has been ripped at least once and whoever repaired it did a terrible job. Huge, white stitches are clearly visible along the side. I am not a professional taylor but I have done some sewing and I would have, at least, chosen a color of thread that matched the skin of the ball so my repair job wouldn’t look so obvious. Anyway, they fight over the ball and each team tries to take the ball to its side of the field. What a braw! If folks acted that way at the supermarket instead of the superbowl they would get arrested. But for some reason, it is ok to try to kill your fellow man on the football field.
BETTER THINGS TO DO
I just don’t see the attraction. All anyone can talk about around here is that the Packers made it to the superbowl. As if that wasn’t bad enough, now that they have WON the superbowl I am sure I won’t hear the end of it for a long time. Why can’t we focus on something more exciting like, say, watching the traffic light at the end of the street change from green to yellow to red and back again. Now that is exciting! When the last of a long line of cars almost makes it to the intersection but then has to stop and watch all the cars ahead of him continue on their way…WOOH HOO!!! Now that’s excitement. But most folks would actually rather watch football than the traffic light. I just don’t understand it.
WAIT YOUR TURN!
Here is another thing to think about. The Packers won the Super Bowl in 1997. Now, only 14 years later they have won it again. Does that seem fair to you? If my knowledge is correct, there are 32 teams in the National Football League, so each team should get to win once every 32 years. But no! the Packers have jumped ahead of 18 teams and won again before it is their turn. Is that good sportsmanship?
MONEY MONEY MONEY
How much money do each of those brawlers make anyway? A little over 1 million dollars per year on average? Hmm. Well, I suppose that doesn’t seem like too much. A job that requires one to risk bodily harm on a regular basis ought to be worth something extra.
MY SHORT FOOTBALL CAREER
I played football once. ONCE! That was once too many for me. We were a bunch of guys with too much time on our hands and I let myself get talked into playing football with them. Back then I was a beanpole at 175 pounds. Somehow I found myself facing the giant of the other team. He had to weigh 300 pounds. I knew I could not tackle him head on so I decided to play dirty. As he tried to run by me with that weird ball, I grabbed his foot and tried to trip him. Well, this guy proceeded on down the field anyway and scored the touchdown with this little fellow (me) still attached to his foot. I was only a mild inconvenience to him. Not willing to show weakness to the other guys I played the whole game with them. After getting beat, thrown, tackled, stepped on and damaged in a variety of ways, I went home vowing to never play football again. I have kept that promise to myself and it has not been hard. I don’t really care for pain anyway. Not my thing.
In conclusion, if you like to watch football then, by all means, enjoy. If you live in Wisconsin then you can fly like a cheesehead too (what does that mean anyway?) If you don’t live in Wisconsin then you can boo hoo over not winning if you wish. As for me, I think I will stick to traffic light watching.