I'm not Falling for any Skydiving Adventure
The Skill of
parachuting, or skydiving, is a method of transiting from a high point to Earth with the aid of gravity, involving the control of speed during the descent with the use of a parachute. It may involve more or less free-fall, a time during which the parachute has not been deployed and the body gradually accelerates to terminal velocity.
The first parachute jump in history was made by Andre-Jacques Garnerin, the inventor of the parachute, on October 22nd, 1797. Garnerin tested his contraption by leaping from a hydrogen balloon 3,200 feet above Paris. Garnerin's parachute bore little resemblance to today's parachute's however as it was not packed into any sort of container and did not feature a ripcord. The first intentional freefall jump with a ripcord-operated deployment was not made until over a century later by Leslie Irvin in 1919. While Georgia Broadwick made an earlier freefall in 1914 when her static line became entangled with her jump aircraft's tail assembly, her freefall descent was not planned. Broadwick cut her static line and deployed her parachute manually, only as a means of freeing her self from the aircraft to which she had become entangled.
The military developed parachuting technology as a way to save aircrews from emergencies aboard balloons and aircraft in flight, and later as a way of delivering soldiers to the battlefield. Early competitions date back to the 1930s, and it became an international sport in 1952.
Ladies and Gentlemen
I give you six of the most famous skydivers in history:
- Georgina Ann "Tiny" Thompson
- Jean-Piehrem Blanchard
- Abbas Ibn Fikas
- Felix Baumgartner
- Louis Sebastein-Lenorman
- Don Kellner
These skydivers are not wimps by any stretch of the imagination. Fearless, skilled, are only two fitting adjectives that define these guys and gals. A number of civilian parachutists go skydiving on a regular basis. Even the most elite in our military depend on the ability to jump from a plane in total darkness and execute their parachute landing to a stragetic area where the military is planning vital reconnaissance.
To Give you a Moment
of your time, I would love to open a part of myself that I shudder when I talk about this, but I literally despise skydiving. I hate it with a passion to be honest. I do not and will not pretend to ever want to pack a parachute, gear up and jump from an airplane and land in some wooded area where I have to survive on little of nothing. Not me. I am way too told for such nonsense.
But these are the main reasons why I will never be a skydiver
- If I were to skydive: I would go beyond 120 + M.P.H. and that is fast, friends. I can put this in the context of driving the legendary drag racer, Don Garlits and his car, The Swamp Rat where he booked as much as 200 M.P.H. in three seconds on the quarter mile. And you think that I can cope with such speeds? What am I, a fool?
- Skydiving: is too chancy for me. Let's say for a moment that I join a skydiving club and we are all good friends. I train for months on every intricate detail on everything from packing a parachute to using the right type of goggles. But on my first jump, I am nervous, naturally, but I power through and sit in the door of the airplane and then my buddies start cackling like hens in wild laughter. The pilot is now irate yelling, "jump, you idiot!" Or are these guys just having some good natured fun? I am not going to take such a chance.
- When I am skydiving: I am very prone to having a weak stomach. Not that I have an internal virus, but weak nerves and when I see those patches of blue and green on the small landscape, I get nauseated quickly.
- My mouth: will always be wide open when and if I were to be a skydiver and my voice will be the loudest yell that a human could hear--even from as high as 2500 feet. That is scared, my friends.
- If I were: to go skydiving, I would hope that I have enough intelligence to not eat a bite before I jump from our plane for when I jump from the plane with a full stomach, that food is coming up and my large intestine is going to come out another way. You can count on that.
- When a team: of skydivers were to go parachuting on some sunny Saturday, I can promise you that my parachute would not work. Even the emergency chute would not work. I am now in deep trouble. My few friends in my skydiving team are also scared and I shout to the top of my lungs. I see my life flash before my life--all in about two minutes.
- The number one: fear of me being a skydiver is when I do make that fateful jump from 5000 feet, I suffer a cardiac arrest and die in the air without any of my parachutes being deploying.
But hey, at least I didn't hurt when I hit the ground.
Now, ladies and gentlemen, this is a classic just for you. The show was "Ripcord," which ran in 1961 with Larry Pennell and Ken Curtis. The young girl starring
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© 2017 Kenneth Avery