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LAMEST VIDEO EVER -- Magic Johnson: Always Showtime

Updated on October 30, 2009

The problem with Magic Johnson's handlers was that they were completely ignorant of the merchandising power of their client. High school, college and the pros he had titles within four years. Meanwhile Michael Jordan's the king of media for something him and Doctor J and Bird started.

Singularly the most exciting and competent basketball player of all time, Magic Johnson was given a very crappy video.

It was called "Always Showtime".

Larry Bird was a beast, an absolutely unmitigated beast, and Magic took him.The video acts like the guy had eight highlights. There isn't a casual fan on Earth who hasn't seen all eight. They say Magic is soft, and the video simply doesn't help matters. When you're finished watching, you really are asking yourself -- "Why this big a deal over someone who puts more baskets in a hoop then the other guy? Why is he the Pope?"

Yeah the got the corny music, the corny corny corny accounts from other players and family members, and they're really really into their point about how the 85 Finals was the turning point, but they don't use the music in anyway to build up the suspense until the 87 and 88 series. When it comes to seemless usage of otherwise corny music in a dramatic situation, EVERY OTHER VIDEO does just that, from the Bird video to NBA Guts and Glory (the two very very best ones), NBA Awesome Endings, and all the championship videos.

Magic, people don't realize, was throughout the 80s considered the weakest of the Bird/Magic/Doctor J trifeca just because he was from the West and the Lakers were the best team. People thought Bird and Doctor J were better then Magic simply because they all seemed to have equal status.

And so it wasn't until 1990 that Magic finally got his "Come Fly With Me".

The problem is that there was pressure to make Always Showtime like Come Fly With Me. This is why they couldn't just stick to the basketball, but had to make sure you knew about Magic's charity work and time in the boys' club. On Larry Bird's video you didn't have people come on and let you know that he was a sweet, nice guy. That was irrelevant. In fact the only good parts of the video are when he's playing Bird and Isiah. Bird and Isiah had to "cool" it up. In Come Fly With Me, there is one single jab at Michael Jordan that comes from a PGA golfer. He says he enjoys playing Michael, particularly the money he takes from him. And the commentator's next line was like that of an insulted 4-year old Michael fan -- "Smart money says it doesn't happen very often." I mean he was really burnt up.

Danny Glover's commentary is the best thing about it. His fits the video just like Daniel Stern's does Bird's.

Magic Johnson in the video can't shut up about how much he loves his dad. I'm sure he was really nice in feeding your big 6'9'' ass, but this is self-serving clap trap for the millions of dads of athletes -- they're pricks. Much like coaches of athletes. Trust me. Your dad made you do your homework not for you, but for him. He made you work your butt off outside at 5 in the morning because HE wouldn't tolerate any losers in his family. You know what my dad did? He let me stay in his basement to figure out my life. He told me to relax and calm down. THAT's a dad.I was drunk, depressed, smoking, unemployed, scruffy, gaining weight, and thoroughly reprehensible in speech and appearance. And he treated me just like Magic's dad treated him. THAT's a dad.



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