The Ten Most Awe Inspiring Moments in the History of Lucha Underground
There I was; mother of God there I am! Sorry, living out my dreams again. Anyways, yesterday there I was, celebrating my discovery of two beautiful cans of Surge (I FOUND IT!) and thinking about which column I wanted to do next. Suddenly my mind wandered back to Killshot’s smooth as fuck double stomp to poor Marty the Moth on this past Wednesday’s Lucha Underground and how it compared to many of the other awe inspiring dives/spots we’ve seen on the best wrestling show alive. Do you see where I’m going with this? If not, basically you’re about to read my rankings of the best awe inspiring, death defying moments in the history of Lucha Underground. Well at least till this point; for all I know I’ll have to be redoing this list next week after Aerostar jumps off of Drago’s shoulders and he stands on Fenix’ shoulders on top of Dario Cueto’s roof. That’s how crazy it gets! As per usual, allow me to remind you that this list is based off my thoughts and mine alone, and unless I’ve become Master and Ruler of the Universe while I was dreaming those beautiful Surge cans (don’t judge until you know what I’ve been through!) that doesn’t mean this list is the be all end all. So don’t get mad if your favorite spot isn’t in this. One day I will forget about the time that one guy lost his mind at me not including that Rayo de Jalisco mask vs. mask match in that list and I won’t have to include that disclaimer anymore. But I’m rambling now; let’s dive into the list. And we’ll start with…honorable mentions!
The Crossbody IV: Nunchuck City (Aerostar Leaps off the Roof)
Before we go into detail, yes I have come up with cool names for each dive/spot. When you’re a man/woman who is finally in possession of Surge you have the right to do what you want, you hear?! That’s exactly what Aerostar does, as exemplified here by the first of many things you’ll hear about that took place on Dario Cueto’s office roof. Although if we’re being honest, this is a little tame by both Aerostar AND LU standards. Yeah it’s still pretty chill and yet it’s still fairly high up, but when you’re doing a crossbody that’s been done better and from higher, it’s tough to take this out of the honorable mentions part. Still pretty sweet though. Plus it features someone jumping on Jack Evans from very high up, and who doesn’t love that?
The Flatliner (Mil Muertes sends Matanza AND himself Through the Roof)
Would you believe this is the only time Matanza appears at all in any shape or form in this list? For a monster that eats people outside of the ring he sure does have some restraint in it. We’re once again back on El Jefe’s roof for this one, only this time Mil sends Matanza and himself through it with a pretty damn good Flatliner. Hope they didn’t land on El Jefe’s desk! Again though, there’s been better than this and really the standout part here is how perfectly the roof broke into a rectangle sized hole. The Flatliner was good; the roof giving way like that was better. And funnier.
The Death Drop (Drago’s Splash off the Roof and Through a Table)
I actually had to talk myself out of putting this in the top ten because I think it’s truly underrated, much like the feud that led to this moment. This isn’t just a dive off of El Jefe’s roof here people; it’s Drago pretty much death dropping right off the edge of the roof and landing as hard as he can on poor King Cuerno down below. And if the title didn’t give it away, poor Deer Antlers is on a table too, so he’s both getting splashed into holy hell and driven through wood (har har). It’s pretty devastating; it’s also a spot I didn’t remember right away in comparison to the others. Being memorable is important here folks and that’s what hurts this one. At least it doesn’t hurt as much as poor Cuerno after that. Or after this.
The Elevator Ride (King Cuerno rides a ladder from the roof through a table)
Man it has not been a good few minutes for Deer Antlers huh? First we’re remembering how he got splashed through a table from the roof, now we’re talking about how Fenix sent Cuerno and the ladder he was climbing up to El Jefe’s office through another table. Maybe Cuerno should just stay away from that roof and tables! Hell maybe everyone should. The only reason this doesn’t make the top ten is because of the Killshot stomp honestly; both of these spots relied on being smooth and the latter just happened to both be smoother and crazier than this. Sorry Deer Antlers (and Fenix). Also, for those keeping score at home, we’re through the four honorable mentions and ALL of them involved El Jefe’s office roof. I told you it would feature heavily here! Hell it’s featured so much thus far that I’m starting to wonder if there are mystical powers coming from that thing. Plot twist; the roof is the main character of LU and kills everyone by self destructing as the final episode. I’m on to you DeJoseph! Or I will be after the top ten.
10. The First Time (Fenix off the Roof)
You never forget the first time; unless it’s this spot, in which case you sadly have. Because of that I can’t really rate this Fenix jump higher than tenth and honestly I may spend a few sleepless nights struggling with it being on here altogether. Why does it make it though? Because despite how good the first and second episodes of Lucha Underground were, this match and this spot on episode three was the first time LU truly raised the in ring bar. And so this dive makes it on here not because it’s the most impressive thing ever, but because it paved the way for the rest of the crazy shit you’re going to read about. As our favorite afro’d wrestler not named Mr. Niebla would say that’s cool.
9. The Fall (Prince Puma and Johnny Mundo fall of the Band Stage Through a few Tables)
It’s the first of the moments on this list that don’t take place on El Jefe’s office roof! Holy cow and it only took us four honorable mentions and the number ten entry to get there. I’m telling you folks; that roof is something to keep an eye on. It’s the most important inanimate object since the watch from Pulp Fiction. Or the briefcase. Either one works.
Remember when everyone couldn’t stop raving about All Night Long? Pepperidge Farm remembers. This doesn’t quite do it for me like the rest of the top ten does but there’s no doubt its impressive; I mean its Prince Puma tackling Johnny Mundo from where the band was playing and launching them several feet down through numerous amounts of hardware. You have to appreciate that; it just isn’t quite on the level as other stuff. I think maybe that’s because it took place while Puma was still down several falls. If you have this spot when it’s tied and time is running out then I think this moves up higher. That or if it had been a Spanish Fly like Puma originally wanted to do. Can you imagine that? It’s probably a good thing that was vetoed but man; let’s just say the top spot would’ve had a run for its money!
8. The Crossbody II: The Second Roof (Angelico Leaps off that Other Roof)
It’s the Return of the Jedi of Angelico spots and yet another that doesn’t take place on El Jefe’s roof. That’s probably why it’s not as good as the other ones! In all seriousness the only flaw with Angelico’s leap here, aside from the fact that only one of the Disciples of Death actually caught him (SHAME!) is that it came after the greatest dive that ever lived and the second greatest dive that ever lived (potential spoilers there for the rest of the list). The only way he was beating those two here is if he jumped from the forgotten roof all the way to the other side of the ring, and if he did that he would’ve immediately retired from lucha libre to become the world’s first superhero. That said this is still pretty damn awesome and Angelico does only fly over one section of the stands before landing below. Like I said it’s the Return of the Jedi; it’s still great and enjoyable, even if there are Ewoks in the midst.
7. The Powerbomb (Mil Muertes Powerbombs Fenix through that Other Roof)
THREE STRAIGHT ENTRIES ON THE LIST THAT DON’T FEATURE EL JEFE’S ROOF! This is unbelievable, this is madness!
I’d argue we’ve already reached the strong portion of this column with the last entry but if not, this is where the spots get really, REALLY good. This one was in many ways what made Mil Muertes the baddest motherfucker since Immortan Joe. He was already a diabolical hater and all as proven by Grave Consequences, but this spot in his rematch with Fenix (a Death Match as it were) was what solidified him. And not just the powerbomb but his reaction after it. Look at the eyes; look at how the Immortan sells what he just did. Mil Muertes was cool before this, but he was gorram Immortan Mil Muertes after this one. It also helps that you had no idea whether Mil was going to powerbomb him on the walkway behind him, into the crowd below or through the roof as he was setting the move up. The element of surprise is always a great thing folks.
6. The Crossbody That Never Happened (Aerostar Leaps off Balcony at Austin Warfare Show)
I’m not sure this should even be included in this list because a) it didn’t take place on TV and b) it didn’t even take place in the Temple! That’s right folks, this is the mystical Aerostar balcony dive from the SXSW Festival show (dubbed Austin Warfare) that blew the roof off the building and made us all worry about Aerostar’s health for a few minutes (he ended up with just minor injuries). I can’t in good conscious put it higher than sixth when it may or may not be considered canon and even if it was still isn’t better than a certain other dive Aerostar has done during his LU days. But man this is great and the pop for it just as loud, if not louder, than some of the spots in the top five. You know, if it actually does exist. Let’s just pretend it does and slot it in here. It’s top five time babay!
5. The Moonsault (Night Claw off the Roof)
There’s an alternate universe out there where Night Claw is about to become one of the big stars of season three and not a man destined to end up on the “Missing Person’s” wall at Undercover Luchador headquarters. At least he gave us a great memory before he left with yet another awe inspiring dive off of El Jefe’s office. The difference from all the others; Night Claw didn’t even look before he did this, he just flat out moonsaulted off the office and let gravity and the grace of the good Cthulhu do the rest. I’d say it worked out well for him. Or maybe it didn’t considering he’s about to end up on the “Missing Person’s” wall. Either way this was chill, like my two cans of Surge chill. And you thought I was going to stop referencing that glorious triumph of mine!
4. The Double Stomp (Killshot off a Ladder and Through a Table)
We’ve made it to the reason this column exists and the only spot on this list that actually takes place in the ring. And just to show you how strong the top three is allow me to say this; this execution of this move was over 9,000% perfect. You would think that a double stomp off a ladder to a guy on that same ladder to put him through a table would go off with at least a hitch or two. Not here. Killshot hits the move perfectly. Marty sells the move perfectly. The two of them of them fall through the table so smooth that it looks like two dudes riding down an escalator. Homemade root beer ain’t that gorram smooth people! This was seriously one of the best things I’ve ever seen in a wrestling ring…and it’s still only number four. That damn Lucha Underground is at it again folks!
3. Crossbody 9 from Out Space (Aerostar Leaps from…I’m still not sure!)
Definitely the best titled spot in this column and thus far the craziest thing the craziest luchador alive has done in the Temple. I’m still not entirely sure where Aerostar jumped from here; all I know is that it was way higher than El Jefe’s roof and somehow even higher than the second roof. For all I know it could’ve been on the Temple’s actual roof! Wherever it was the Intergalactic Maniac leaped off it and absolutely nailed what would’ve been the best dive in LU history if not for the fact that there’s an even crazier dude out there who probably is never allowing anyone else into the top two. Tune in next week for when I’m proven 100% wrong!
2. The Dropkick (Angelico Dropkick off the Roof)
As great as everything else is on this list, the only argument you can make for the number one spot is between the actual number one spot and this entry here. In terms of degree of difficulty this one is the winner. It’s certainly the more painful of the two moves (at least from what I was told) and it’s the type of move that needs to be done perfectly to work. If Angelico had been a little off and missed the kick on Cortes Castro then it’s a no go. Even worse if Angelico doesn’t get the distance and comes up short then we’re a year removed from Jack Evans giving the most moving eulogy of all time while still finding a way to put himself over Angelico. Ultimately the reasons this is number two will become apparent in a minute. But even still this is a legendary moment in the LU canon and one of the best things you will ever see in a wrestling ring, mainly because Angelico nails it perfectly. He gets the right amount of air and the right amount of to nail Castro off the ladder, something that no one else (including Angelico himself) could probably get right ever again. What more can you say to talk this one up?
1. The Crossbody (Angelico Flies like Superman off the Roof)
The Dropkick may have had a higher degree of difficulty and may be one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen in a wrestling ring; this crossbody is one of the greatest things I’ve ever SEEN! It’s right there with Mad Max: Fury Road, Blade Runner, those two Surge cans in my fridge and Yvonne Strahovski; that good! Maybe Angelico’s crossbody wasn’t the moment that made us believe anything could happen in LU and it certainly wasn’t the first (or last) big spot that the company would have. But holy shit it was something out of this world. I can still remember where I was and what I was doing when I saw this move and I still react the same way every time I see it. Angelico legit looks like Superman flying through the sky when he does this move, and whether or not it’s him, the camera angle or both it legit looks like he could touch the sky with the amount of air he gets. And it’s not just the air, it’s also the distance; you can legit buy for a second that he’s going to get enough to clear the ring. Maybe the dropkick had the higher degree of difficulty and maybe a few of these other moments did too. But even still there’s nothing I’ve seen in Lucha Underground or any wrestling promotion recently that’s quite like this. It’s something right out of a science fiction film or a comic book. It’s gorram special. It’s the best around, and nothing’s gonna ever keep it down. I’ll stop now.
That’s it folks. We’ll see you tonight for that CMLL review. Till then, RAMMING SPEED! Why not right?