Lucha Underground Review: All We Know is Falling
We’re now into week two of the Knightfall era of Lucha Underground, and while things may be looking grim the show quality couldn’t be any better. Once more we were treated to another fine episode this evening with three very good matches, a breakout performance, a haunting scene and the formation of a trio so awesome that Captain Awesome, Barney Stinson and Atlantis all bowed down to them afterwards. Well maybe not Atlantis; he’s busy after all. Anyways, let’s dive into more of this really chill LU episode. ONWARDS WE GO!
I never knew this before tonight but El Jefe and Vampiro in the same scene is something I always wanted. After last week you couldn’t have picked a better note for LU to begin on, and everything that needed to be accomplished here (El Jefe being his usual self, Vampiro struggling to hold in his demons) was with ease. You got to know that Vamp is just chomping at the bit to either a) let the demon out and take on El Jefe and Matanza himself or b) begin training Pentagon to triumphantly return and burn the forest down. Here’s hoping it’s the latter; the dark training sequences between Pentagon and Vampiro would be the greatest thing since Leicester City decided not to sell Jamie Vardy during the January window. Also, well done Vampiro on commentary tonight! I always think he’s good, but tonight might’ve been Vamp’s best night of breaking down matches, tossing out cool references and being his usual self. This calls for a shout out to the Vampiro drinking game; brother brother brother BROTHER!!!
Undercover Luchador II!
Finally…FINALLY the cop show within Lucha Underground that we all love is back with that really attractive officer in charge. And was it just me or did it seem like she favored Officer Joey “Meehan” Ryan over Castro? A lesser man would find a way to make a King of the Dong Style joke here. Not me; I shall resist!
Anyways, the plan to bring down El Jefe has become crystal clear; Castro and Ryan will now team up in the Trios Tournament with Mr. Cisco (still unaware of Castro’s extracurricular activities), and will use their success in the tourney to get closer to Dario. I know, a lot to take in there. Overall I’m giving this plan a six out of ten. In theory it’s pretty good, but let’s be real; El Jefe is too smart to not see a plan like this coming, Cisco is gonna find out about Castro and his double life eventually (the break up scene is going to be FIRE!) and can we really expect Castro and Ryan to get along for the duration of the tournament? Ivelisse, Angelico and Son of Havoc these two aren’t!
Ivelisse defeated Kobra Moon
This was by far Kobra Moon’s best match in her Lucha Underground career and also the second best opening match LU has had during season two (don’t worry Fenix-Cuerno, nothing’s topped you yet). Turns out all it took for Kobra to shine was getting in the ring with Ivelisse, which isn’t surprising considering Ivelisse could make Thunder look like a million bucks. I can see why some may be more down on this bout, but overall I liked the mat based MMA style both Kobra and Ivelisse employed and I thought the chemistry between the two was really apparent. The only concern I have is whether or not this was just a one off or if this is the start of Kobra targeting the Trios Champions. Either way this was a great match to start the show, a nice showcase for Ivelisse and a much needed coming out party for Kobra Moon. Just what the doctor ordered.
I Fight to Forget
Remember those scenes from the now very distant Lucha Underground season two trailer featuring a sniper/soldier taking out people in a desert? Turns out it was indeed Killshot, who tonight revealed his past as a black ops sniper who decided to take up lucha libre in order to forget about the hardships and horrors of war. And mother of puss bucket was it awesome. The fight scenes were great and Killshot in particular sold the scene quite well with his narration; he sounded like a cross between Frank Castle and Willard from Apocalypse Now. It wasn’t quite the Aerostar time traveling scene or even one from later in this show (soon friends, soon) but man was this solid. The Killshot push is coming peeps!
Mascarita Sagrada Gets Fame and Inspirational Speeches with the Mack Part II
First off, how about Sagrada and Sexy hitting the gym during this interlocking scene! Forget about Johnny Mundo’s workout tips, maybe we should have Sexy and Mascarita dishing them out every time we go to commercial now. The Famous B/Sagrada stuff was relatively tame with Famous being his usual entertaining self while trying to find that one special client (or clients, considering there’s a Trios Tournament going on right now). The bigger story however was Big Willie telling Sexy he was teaming with the Moths in the tournament, Sexy refusing to accompany him to ringside for the match and Big Willie once again launching into a mini inspirational speech in order to boost Sexy’s fallen confidence. Let’s just say this speech worked better than the last one, and also caused Sexy to go ham on those weights right there at the end. Perhaps it’s time for Big Willie to head back to YouTube for a new show. No I am not giving up on Inspirational Speeches with The Mack being a thing; I will move heaven and earth to make it happen. I’ll do even more if he would do the whole St. Crispin’s Day speech.
I’ll sum this up quickly; we saw someone (later revealed to be El Dragon Azteca Jr.) spray paint the Lucha Underground sign with a question mark (ala the end of season one). That was it. Thank goodness we got such epicness to explain this twenty minutes later, otherwise this would’ve been the most confusing scene since Batman took on those Superman soldiers and those weird ass aliens in Batman v Superman. See it people! The critics have lied to you.
Lucha Underground Trios Tournament Match
The Crew and Joey Ryan defeated The Moths and The Mack
Hot damn was this entertaining! I was expecting a little more story than match here between Dysfunctional Team #1 and Dysfunctional Team #2 (good lord does El Jefe love putting together teams that hate each other), but it turns out there was enough of both to create what was the best match of the evening. Joey Ryan was his great, sleazy self. Big Willie gave his best performance of season two and broke out a really chill standing moonsault. Mariposa was a bad ass in this match and looked crisp as hell against all comers. Marty and Castro may not have had a ton to do but they were effective in the moments they were given. And HOW ABOUT MR. CISCO?! The forgotten man of The Crew not only held his own in the ring, dare I say he had a Son of Havoc style breakout performance? We saw stuff from Cisco tonight that we had never seen before and by the end of the match he had won over the Temple in a pretty big way. This is the best I’ve seen someone named Cisco do something since that Thong Song craze.
Arguably even better than the match was the aftermath, where Mariposa (salty as hell over Mack stunning Marty and costing their team the match) attacked Big Willie and bringing out Sexy Star. And while I won’t say it was quite Daniel Bryan attacking Bray in the cage, Sexy finally found the inner strength and went to town on Mariposa. As far as beatings go, I’d put this somewhere between the 12-1 defeat Gordon Bombay’s Team USA took against Iceland during the Junior Goodwill Games and my utter domination of Gary in Pokemon Red just earlier today (the halls of the S.S. Anne will never be the same again!). There was hair pulled out and everything. Considering all the buildup they’d done showing Sexy as a broken woman, it was great to see her finally stand up for herself and regain some of that old spark she had during season one. Now it’s up to her and Big Willie to conquer The Moth’s in the ring. I smell some violent match ups ahead between these two teams!
Ladies and gentlemen I have witnessed the (spoiler alert) death of Superman onscreen, I encountered the Fingerpoke of Doom live as it happened; hell I’ve even seen a grown man satisfy a camel (just kidding. Or am I?). Goodness gracious me, none of that comes close to El Dragon Azteca Jr. moping on the roof, Rey Mysterio (playing the role of Batman. No seriously) offering sage advice before announcing that they’d be in the Trios Tournament next week and Prince Puma then revealing himself as the third partner AND SPEAKING!
No it wasn’t “how all occasions do inform against me” or even the speech from Independence Day; in fact I’m not even sure Puma said more than five words. Even still, whoa! It was a moment and a moment made even better by Mysterio revealed he was the one who discovered Puma (thus leading him to Konnan) and the fact that REY MYSTERIO, PRINCE PUMA AND EL DRAGON AZTECA JR. ARE A TEAM NOW! It might be time for Ivelisse, Angelico and Son of Havoc to give up the Greatest Trios Team That Ever Lived name guys. How can you compete with the three headed dragon of Puma, Azteca and Rey, three off the charts good luchadors who all come from the famous Azteca tribe? Not even Jack “The Dragon Slayer” Evans could handle fire power of this magnitude!
Lucha Underground Championship Match
Matanza (c) defeated Fenix
Those of you who were looking for a ray of hope that maybe Matanza wasn’t as invulnerable as he looked…yeah they were out of luck. This was again another squash, although a slightly more enjoyable one than last week as a) Fenix at least wasn’t wiped off the face of the earth and b) Matanza looked even more like an Immortan this week. For the love of all things the man German Suplex’d Fenix into the turnbuckle, slammed him so hard out on the floor it sounded like an explosion and at one point hit another German that involved so many twists and turns I thought Alfred Hitchcock had suddenly hijacked his body. All the more proof that Matanza is a freakin beast.
Yet again however the bigger story was the post match activities. Looking to turn Fenix’s face into a sticky paste, Matanza pulverized the poor dude till Catrina, of all people, emerged from the Temple steps and distracted Matanza long enough for Mil Muertes to come in and actually get the upper hand of Matanza. For those keeping score at home, that’s the first time that Matanza has even looked close to mortal and that Mil-Matanza collision looks to be coming up in the next few weeks. As epic as that will be though, the most interesting factoid to me was Mil not going after Fenix (his long time enemy may I remind you) afterwards and that long lingering shot of Catrina and Fenix staring at each other as the show closed. What was going on there? Are Mil and Catrina turning over a new leaf? Does Mil just not care because Matanza has stolen his title/Immortan role? Is Catrina now having second thoughts and considering shacking up with Fenix again? QUESTIONS EVERYWHERE! Damn you for being so great Lucha Underground.
And that’s the sign that the tank is full. I’ll be back tomorrow kids with…something. Who knows what? Till next time, how about El Santo and Blue Demon playing chess?
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