The Ins and Outs of Lucha Underground: Episode 35
Remember how I said last week's Lucha Underground episode was a cool down? Well, like The Sopranos, the cool down is over. This week's episode of the LU promises to not only be action packed, but potentially one of the best of promotions run. All three matches have Match of the Night potential, and for all we know there are some more excellent backstage segments waiting to be seen. In short, if you've been on the fence about the LU, this is the episode to check out. And it's for that exact reason I'm starting the prediction column now, a little less than two days away. What can I say? Like Calvin Candie, the LU has curiosity and my attention. But enough about racist Leo DiCaprio. It's time for some lucha talk. ON WITH THE SHOW!!!
Eight Person Tag
Alberto El Patron, Aero Star, Drago and Sexy Star vs. Johnny Mundo, Jack Evans, Hernandez and Super Fly
What to Expect: Do you want the short answer or the long one? The short answer is MY GOD, IT'S FULL OF STARS! The longer answer is the short one repeated a hundred times. Holy moly, this match appears to be some sort of epic sauce. Look at the talent here! El Patron and Drago are two of the most over guys in the Temple. Johnny Mundo is LU's best heel. Aero Star is the most underrated luchadore on the roster. Sexy Star is the love of my life (and awesome). Hernandez and Super Fly might just be kind of there, but they can contribute. And of course, THE FIFA CHAMP! WITH POTENTIAL SUPER POWERS AFTER WINNING THE AZTEC MEDALLION! Seriously, if the thought of a intergalactic Jack Evans facing off with Alberto El Patron doesn't excite you, I can only assume you're someone who thinks that Kane's Hawaii vacation was enjoyable TV or your name is Mazza. Or both. Damn shame he'll be missing this bout then.
Winner: I got a funny feeling the bad guys are taking this one dudes and dudettes. I don't know, just feels a little too chummy on the technico side. Except for Drago, but then again things never go well for him. I'm going to say that Mundo distracts El Patron, allowing Evans to do some sweet move and get the rudos the win. Though let the record show that there's a 95% chance Evans and Mundo start fighting over which one has more swag, leading to their team losing. By the way, the one with more swag is Evans. Thought you'd like to know.
The Mack vs. Cage
What to Expect: How do you follow up an eight person tag loaded with talent? By putting two of the best all around wrestlers in the LU against each other. Is this "Dream Match Night" at the Temple or something? Seriously, this match could easily be a MOTN candidate as well. You all know how I feel about Cage, who I think could very easily be the best big man wrestler in the world today. And The Mack...my goodness, The Mack! He's a lighter Mark Henry with jetpacks that man! Combine both of their extensive skills with the chemistry they've shown in the ring, and this is going to be a winner, provided they are given time. The only question; will we see good old Deer Antlers Fantasma or Killshot get involved here? Remember, both have associations with The Mack and Cage, Cuerno and Cage had issues working together in that multi man match a few weeks ago, and Cuerno and Killshot may be feuding too.
Winner: Cage. No disrespect to The Mack, but if we're being technical here, he's not nearly as high on the food chain as the man from the 559. If Cuerno is accidentally getting involved and screwing over Cage here, perhaps I'll think differently. As I can't see the future though, Cage feels like the safe, natural pick for me here. Don't let me down Machine!
Mil Muertes vs. Son of Havoc
What to Expect: Yet another MOTN candidate right here, and a match that, if I'm being honest, could potentially be special. For the WWE fans out there reading this, please don't take this comparison I'm about to make as a slight. Remember how everyone wanted Daniel Bryan to face Brock Lesnar at Wrestlemania this year? Well, this is the LU's equivalent of Brock vs. Bryan in the Temple. On one hand, you have the Beast King himself, Mil Muertes, the most dominant force of personality in Lucha Underground, the most compelling character in Lucha Underground, and a man who is such a bad ass, Mil's mask is pictured right next the word bad ass in the dictionary. On the other hand, there's Son of Havoc, the former indie star with the long beard, the big heart, and the best underdog credentials since the 1980 United States men's hockey team. Put a mask on Daniel Bryan and Brock Lesnar, and it's Mil vs. Havoc. Either way, it's a whole lot of masks and a whole lot of wrestling fans impersonating Stan's dad.
Again, I get the feeling that this could be a special type of match here. Any time Mil steps into the ring these days, the potential is always high, but it's Havoc that really has me intrigued here. As awesome as the man from the open road is, he hasn't exactly had a lot of spotlight recently, what with Ivelisse gutting her way through trios matches and Angelico leaping off tall buildings in a single bound. This is an opportunity for Havoc to remind us what he can do, and I think he takes full advantage of the underdog role and goes all out against Mil. Like the last match, the question then becomes who gets involved here? The last we saw of Havoc, he, Ivelisse and Angelico were being taken out by Catrina and the Skeletor Army. I have to imagine Ivelisse and the best in the world will both be at ringside for this one, as will Mil's traveling circus of doom. Will the trios champs look for revenge? Will this lead to Angelico having to do more drastic measures to give Havoc a shot? Who knows? All I know is I cannot wait for this one. Don't be surprised if this is a potential LU MOTY candidate by the time it's over.
Winner: All apologies to Havoc, but this is going to the Beast King. I think Mil will be pushed by Havoc, I think the Trios Champions as a whole will put up a huge fight, and I think this bout will have a similar feel to the Jeff Hardy-Undertaker ladder match masterpiece from 2002. But in the end, Mil Muertes isn't losing any time soon, if ever again, and this will be no different here. I say Mil gets the win, but the Trios Champions find a way to stand somewhat tall by the end of the show.
That will do it friends! Look at that, two columns in one day, and hardly any shut eye! I'll be back tomorrow for some more, perhaps with that Warriors tribute and the next entry of the 201. You know, provided anyone actually reads it! Till next time, get Cody Rhodes to the Lucha Underground, don't turn your back on the Wolfpac, ask Dende how it feels to be the bronze medal, and come as you are, as you were, as DUCHOVNY wants you to be.