Lucha Underground Review: Two to Go
Time flies kids. Tonight was officially the second to last show before Ultima Lucha Dos; yes, we’re that close to the Grand Papi of them all. As it was, those expecting the out of this world in ring action from the past few weeks will probably be disappointed to know tonight’s bouts were merely very good. I know, the struggle is real. Despite that “negative” aspect, the rest of the show was its usual top notch self, getting us set for the big show starting in a couple weeks by furthering stories, setting up other matches and even introducing a new character. Can your favorite wrestling show do that? It can? Well let’s just forget I said anything and move on to the review shall we? Moses, stop celebrating the Irish victory and play in the meme.
WHO THE *REDACTED* IS THIS?!
Well that’s one way to start a show. After a beautiful sweeping shot of LA we cut to El Jefe in his office with…a cross between the Black Panther and one of those creatures from a weird ass science fiction film. We learn that the dude’s name is Night Claw, that he’s a member of the Jaguar tribe (fun fact; Puma is also apparently associated with this tribe), he’s apparently really good and he’ll be debuting at Ultima Lucha Dos as one of the seven participants for the Gift of the Gods Championship. And…that’s about it, unless you count Dario trying to push Night Claw’s buttons by gloating about the Jaguar tribe being the first of the Ancient tribes to go out of business. Dare I say this was most mysterious yet bizarre way to start off the show, and perhaps another chance for me to do an investigative column on this Night Claw’s identity? LU and these mystery man angles; they slay me.
Aztec Medallion Match
Daga defeated Mascarita Sagrada
To the shock of absolutely no one this match wasn’t very long and was very one sided, with Daga controlling almost all of the action save a Mascarita hurricanrana. This is what happens to your clients when you interrupt Melissa Santos over and over again Famous! Due to the lack of length the big things from this were a) Kobra Moon creeping the hell out of Daga while watching the match from El Jefe’s roof, b) Daga realizing the Medallion he won had a snake symbol on it (a moment LU made clear to highlight) and c) Famous B finally having enough and betraying Mascarita post match with a superkick and a beat down with a shoe. And yes, Famous totally lost the shoe and forced a surprisingly distraught Brenda to retrieve it, making sure that “GET MY SHOE!” will totally be the next Famous B t-shirt. Because of all that this turned out to be a fairly entertaining ten minutes, and in a recurring theme of the evening did a good job of advancing every story in the match. I’d bank money that Famous will introduce a new client to take on Mascarita at Ultima Lucha Dos now. Just don’t ask me who it is; I’ve got my hands full as is with trying to figure out who this Night Claw dude is now!
El Jefe and Azteca Jr.
Ladies and gentlemen I have seen Willy the Snitch sell out everyone in Sunnydale, I saw LeBron James betray Cleveland on national television; hell I’ve even witnessed a grown man satisfy a camel (just kidding. Or am I?). The way Dario sold Black Lotus down the river in this segment beat both of those by several country miles. For those who missed it, El Jefe called Azteca Jr. to his office and basically buried Lotus; he admitted Lotus killed Azteca Sr., further pushed the idea that Lotus thinks Azteca Sr. killed her parents and all but motivated Azteca Jr. to wipe Lotus off planet Earth come Ultima Lucha Dos. I guess Lotus’ threats a few weeks ago led to El Jefe having no choice but to pit Azteca fully against her in order to remove her potential threats. That or El Jefe is just flat out evil. Either way he’s now flat out betrayed Lotus, he’s likely playing Azteca Jr. and the only thing I actually believe coming out of Dario’s mouth is that Matanza didn’t kill Lotus’ parents. I mean he hinted as much with Azteca just like he did with Lotus; I can see lying to one but why lie to both? That basically make El Jefe worse than Grant Ward. And no one is as bad as Grant Ward.
Six Man Tag Match for Three Aztec Medallions
Killshot, Sinestro de la Muerte and Marty “The Moth” Martinez defeated Cortes Castro, Mr. Cisco and Joey Ryan
This was a longer, far more fun version of what the opening match brought, complete with the same well thought out story development. Everything that needed to be advanced here was advanced; there was subtle but noticeable tension between Cisco, his former pal Castro and Ryan, while the massive tension between Killshot and Marty remained. The difference in the match was that Marty and Killshot were able to overcome their differences (largely due to Marty offering the dog tags back to Killshot prior to the match) and actually work together. And my goodness they worked really well together too; in another life these two could be 2/3rds of the greatest Trios Team since Ivelisse, Angelico and Son of Havoc. Those story ticks were great additions to this match and helped bolster what was some really entertaining action. Everyone got something to do, whether it was Joey showing off the dick strength, Castro and Marty doing the little things they always nail (like Marty stealing Joey’s lollipop and actually licking it!) or Killshot having some huge high flying moments (including a breathtaking step off moonsault to the floor that was the runaway spot of the night). High marks must go to Sinestro and Cisco though; the match flowed at its best when these two were going at it and Cisco continued to show why he’s the most underrated performer in the Temple right now. Really, the only downside of this match (won by Sinestro, Marty and Killshot after the Undercover Luchadors and Cisco couldn’t get along) is that Cisco won’t be in the Gift of the Gods match. We can’t find a way to sneak him in? The people want more Cisco; THE PEOPLE NEED MORE CISCO!
Tag Team Match for Two Aztec Medallions
Sexy Star and Mariposa defeated Ivelisse and Taya
This will be a match where your feelings on the performers will likely dictate how you saw the quality. If you’re not a fan of someone like Sexy Star (and to a lesser extent Taya), who was featured heavily here, this match won’t change your mind. As I like all four performers just fine though I ultimately had no issue with this match. It wasn’t perfect; I would’ve liked to have seen some spots have more fluidity than they did and the action wasn’t always crisp. For the most part though the action was on par and, once again, the stories going into the match helped elevate things a great deal. There was the appropriate amount of tension between Sexy/Mariposa and Ivelisse/Taya, there were points where it threatened to boil over for each team and ultimately it was mistrust and a mistake by Taya that cost her team the match. Good stuff there and for me, the in ring action worked as well. I liked the chemistry we saw between Ivelisse and Mariposa and especially from Taya and Sexy; that’s a match I’ve been interested in seeing for awhile and I think their close partnership in Mexico allowed them to click better than most would’ve expected. Overall an enjoyable main event and in my opinion the right team won. We’ve already seen Sexy and Mariposa go as far as they can go, so putting them in the Gift of the Gods is a good way to continue that rivalry while also letting them interact with others. Ivelisse vs. Taya has legs though, so letting them go into a singles match for Ultima Lucha Dos is just what the doctor ordered.
If you’ve been waiting for Prince Puma to finally be given a live mic, this was the segment for you. And boy did Puma kill it. I understand why they didn’t give him a live mic previously but my goodness he was great here. There was fire, passion, drive; I jokingly named this section “Puma Bomb” but this promo pretty much was a Puma bomb. We finally got to hear what was going on in Puma’s head after all these weeks, and it’s pretty clear that even though his respect for Rey Mysterio hasn’t diminished, his desire to prove how good he is to the king of Lucha Libre is still apparent. Thus, we got Puma officially challenging Rey to a match at Ultima Lucha Dos, Rey coming out and cutting the best promo I’ve ever heard him cut and ultimately accepting the challenge. Seriously, Rey was dynamite here; that line about Puma still being a prince and Rey being “El Rey” (“the king” if you couldn’t guess) was perhaps the best line he’s had since…ever. It was that kind of fire from him and Puma that made my excitement for this match (which I totally called by the way!) go up tenfold. I don’t want to get ahead of myself and label this match a classic before it happens…but I just did. Folks, this match should be a classic. The only question I have is whether it will truly be a match of respect or if the tension between Rey and Puma we saw during the dying days of their Trios Titles reign comes back during this match. Either way, in the words of Bart Scott, can’t wait!
And that friends is how it ends. I’m off till tomorrow, where I’ll have something about the Republic of Ireland football team, as well as a potential Knockout Stage preview of the Euro 16 tournament. Till then, who said you could eat my cookies?! Yup, we’re closing with that joke.
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