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Lucha Underground Preview: Gift of the Gods

Updated on October 25, 2016

You know what the only negative thing about Lucha Underground is? They often don’t release enough info for me to do a preview on their shows. Not this week though; enough details came out that LU, episode 8 can be previewed by yours truly today! And man alive is Bryan Alvarez going to dislike this one. We’ve got two intergender matches that are happening tomorrow, one that has big title ramifications and one that likely will end up being really, REALLY good. Which will be which? You’ll just have to wait a few paragraphs now won’t ya?! But enough suspense; I have a Cubs World Series game (and CMLL Tuesday) to prepare for! Moses, get off your ass and meme!

Rey Mysterio Wants Dario to Do Him a Favor


What to Expect: This should be pretty easy to figure out. Rey will ask El Jefe to grant him a match with Chavo Guerrero Jr., El Jefe will either accept it or make Rey jump through hoops to get what he wants and I’ll post the “Classic El Jefe” meme in my write up over whatever El Jefe does in this segment. Hell let’s just use it now; we all know it was going to be used sooner or later anyway.

Winner: Please; Rey Mysterio is great but he’s lost before, while having to go on the run and being sent to prison only made El Jefe stronger. This is El Jefe’s game of verbal cat and mouse to lose. Hell the only time I fear for Dario coming up small is when the Lord or Councilman Delgado are involved. Speaking of…


Councilman Delgado Returns


What to Expect: UH OH EL JEFE! For the first time since the season three premiere we’re going to get a glimpse of the man behind the only being that makes El Jefe’s ass sweat like Major Lilywhite after three days without brains. And who knows what that entails? Does Delgado just want more payments to bring back to the Lord? Will the Lord arrive at the Temple? Hell will this even take place in the Temple (Delgado and the Lord do love transactions happening in shady bars or even shadier limousines after all)? I’m down for anything. The Lord story is the most mysterious and most underdeveloped (by intent it seems) angle Lucha Underground is working with right now. Anything more we can learn is a slice of pizza in the LU bathrooms. Vinnie knows what I’m talking about.


Winner: Delgado makes El Jefe cringe with terror and walks off with this segment while Dario dreams of Matanza one day burying Delgado alive like Khan did Kirk.


MORE RABBIT SHIT!


What to Expect: Paul London will say stuff, weird images will flash on the screen, text will announce these guys are coming soon and I will blow a gasket so big it’ll make Vince McMahon’s tantrum in Minnesota look like the wails of a hungry baby. GIVE ME PAUL LONDON ALREADY LU! I cannot take the waiting any longer.


Winner: White Rabbits and Jefferson Airplane fans everywhere. Next!


Best of Five Series: Match Three

Cage vs. Texano


What to Expect: This will be fun, if for no other reason other than the first two matches of this series were fun, especially the second match. The big question will be whether or not these two changes things up from the first two encounters. The first match (which is ridiculously underrated and I still don’t get why people didn’t like it) was a slower, more bruising match while the second featured a faster pace and a lot more energy from Texano (who was portrayed as being off a step or two in match one). I’d expect things will get faster here and Texano will be the aggressor in order to try and keep this series alive, which leads to the next big question; will LU go the traditional comeback route or will Cage pull off the rarely seen wrestling sweep?


Winner: I’m actually very tempted to say Cage here because a) it would be so different, b) he’s far more over than poor Texano, c) Aztec Warfare III is coming up and it’s hard to picture this series lasting past that (especially since the “Unique Opportunity” the winner of this series gets could be tied to that match) and d) Texano losing three straight matches and being forced to confront his failures could lead to an interesting story. Alas I’m going to play the gutless turd here and stick with convention; Texano will eek this match out to get one win on the board and continue the series.


Ivelisse vs. Marty “The Moth” Martinez


What to Expect: I will be stunned if this isn’t better than Ivelisse vs. Mariposa was just a few weeks ago. That match has been the biggest (and possibly lone) black mark on season three thus far thanks to Mariposa mailing in her performance for reasons I can’t quite understand. This won’t happen here; Ivelisse is a fantastic performer who seems to work better with the guys than the gals in the Temple, while The Moth is always ready to go and much like CMLL star Sam Adonis is a master of controlling and keeping the audience engaged. Look for him to have some entertaining heat segments that build towards Ivelisse making a great comeback in what should be a Match of the Night contender. I’d also bank on us seeing both Mariposa and Ivelisse’s new squeeze Jeremiah (The Artist Formerly Known as Sami Callihan) at some point here too.


Winner: Marty wins following Jeremiah accidentally costing Ivelisse the match, leading to dissention between the Baddest Couple in the Building and tears (of joy) from the Believers in the Temple because The Moth was victorious. It’s what we all desire. The people want the Moth to win; THE PEOPLE NEED THE MOTH TO WIN!!!

WRONG MOTH!
WRONG MOTH!

Gift of the Gods Championship Match

Sexy Star (c) vs. Johnny Mundo


What to Expect: After nearly two months of begging, pleading and watching pals Jack Evans and Taya get shots, Johnny Mundo finally gets to live out…well at least part of his dream. By that I mean he gets a shot at the Gift of the Gods Championship, which if he wins means he’s only a couple steps closer to becoming Lucha Underground Champion. He’s like Paul Rudd halfway through Overnight Deliver, only Johnny isn’t trying to prevent his girlfriend from receiving nude pictures of him with another woman and Reese Witherspoon isn’t his sidekick. And thank goodness; who wants to hang with Reese when you’ve got Taya?! Picking Reese over her would be more shocking than someone mentioning Overnight Delivery in a wrestling column!

Praise Cthulhu, Paul Rudd really hasn't aged!
Praise Cthulhu, Paul Rudd really hasn't aged!

While this match does bring the goods story wise, the question is going to be how much Sexy and Johnny click in the ring? You may not believe this but Sexy Star isn’t a big hit with the hardcore LU fans thanks to a couple of below average performances. She was however quite good two weeks ago against Evans, thanks in a large part to Evans going out of his way to allow Sexy to look good and well paced. Can Johnny Mundo do the same? In theory you’d say yes because Mundo has turned into a world class performer over his LU tenure and does have the smarmy/cocky rudo routine down pact to keep the crowd involved. He doesn’t however have the experience of working with Sexy over several years and doesn’t have Jack’s mouth, which I’m convinced could make a match with David Arquette circa 2000 work. In the end I guess we’ll find out. I’m hoping we get more of the same from the Evans-Sexy match, from the good action to the dozens of cameos from the Trios Champions and Worldwide Underground. I cannot lie and say it’s a sure thing however.


Winner: I’m thinking title change here folks. It makes a lot of sense to me for Mundo to win the Gift of the Gods Championship here, wait out Aztec Warfare III in the hopes that someone can topple him and then pounce on the winner the week after by cashing in the GOTG title, thus concluding his journey to LU glory. Add in that a Sexy Star vs. Matanza match doesn’t make a whole lot of sense (unlike Ivelisse, Sexy doesn’t seem like she’d work well against monster opponents) and I’m going with the Wednesday Night Delight to steal the Gift of the Gods belt after Jack, P.J., Taya and maybe the fourth, unidentified member of Worldwide Underground assist him. First title change of the season folks; drink it in!


That’s a wrap sports fans. I’ll catch you later tonight with my review of CMLL’s Tuesday show. Till then, go Cubs go!

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