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Lucha Underground Review: A Fistful of Chaos
Hot damn. It’s been an hour and finally I’ve gotten my breath back from tonight’s Lucha Underground episode. For the first time all season the in ring action dominated a full hour of LU and we were treated to two chaotic, fun, brilliant matches that showcased the promotion at its finest. Oh, and there was also a super cool ending that involved candle wax and Vampiro as the gothic answer to the drill sergeant from Full Metal Jacket. Only in Lucha Underground folks! Let’s not waste anymore time; here is how the night unfolded!
Cage Match for an Aztec Medallion
Cage defeated Johnny Mundo
First off, wasn’t it nice of Matt Striker to inform us that Mil Muertes and Matanza both survived their tumble through the roof of El Jefe’s office last week? I mean we were all pretty sure they were good to go anyway, but…yeah actually I don’t know what my point was there. My brain is exhausted from the show, what do you want from me?!
This match was pretty much everything you’d expect it to be with a little more thrown in. Cage dominated the match for the first part before Mundo took over, and it quickly became apparent that the story of this match would be Mundo throwing everything (including the kitchen sink) at Cage, only for The Machine to keep getting up because that’s what he does. And seriously, Mundo did everything (well aside from that corkscrew dive off the top but that’s another story for another time!); he hit a breathtaking top rope Spanish Fly, a top rope Moonlight Drive, cracked Cage in the head with chairs and kendo sticks, had an amazing Spider-Man esq sequence avoiding Cage (thank his parkour training for that one) and even got an assist from Taya, who hit an excellent crossbody towards the end of the match (among other things). In the end though this night belonged to Cage, who ultimately withstood everything, dished out a ton of punishment in his own right and took the match with that amazing Screwdriver finish of his, giving him an Aztec Medallion and, if I may be so bold, finally giving him bragging rights over Mundo once and for all. What more can you say other than this match was super fun and probably the best cage match I’ve seen since, well, Mundo vs. Cuerno from season one. The only thing missing was a Cage moonsault off the top of the cage. I probably would’ve died from the shock if it, but it would’ve been entirely worth it.
Four Way Trios Match for the Trios Championships
Lucha Justice League defeated Fenix, Jack Evans and P.J. Black, Ivelisse and Son of Havoc and Joey Ryan and The Crew
If you had told me the biggest shock of the night wouldn’t have been an amazing spot from either the cage match or this one, I’d have assumed that it would’ve involved Pentagon returning to the Temple and breaking El Jefe’s arm. Alas that didn’t happen, but the biggest story of the night was a non wrestling moment when El Jefe came out and announced Angelico wouldn’t compete in the main event due to injury. Not only did this immediately stack the odds against Ivelisse and Son of Havoc yet again, but man was it a bummer. WHAT IS A WORLD WITHOUT ANGELICO WRESTLING?! Thank goodness there are now two great versions of “The Sound of Silence” because I’m so depressed from Angelico being out that I need to listen to both now.
All that being said, MOTHER OF GOD WHAT A MATCH THIS WAS! It was so good I think I may have to watch it again just to appreciate its greatness more. There was chaos, there were amazing feats of athleticism, and there was everything you’d want and more from this match. And while I thought overall everyone did a great job, there are a few people I would like to single out for praise
1). Ivelisse. Ladies and gentleman I have sung the praises of Zeuxis, I have raved about Sasha Banks; hell I’ve even seen a grown man talk about another grown man satisfying a camel (just kidding. Or am I?). I don’t think there’s any question anymore though that Ivelisse is the best female performer in wrestling today. For all the amazing feats of athleticism from both Angelico and Son of Havoc, it’s hard to argue that Ivelisse somehow emerged from the group as its star. That was even more apparent tonight; she clicked with everyone she went up against, she was believable, she was fierce; in short, she was the total package. The only moment of this match I disliked was when she was eliminated, because I frankly just can’t get enough of watching her perform.
2). El Dragon Azteca Jr. It’s taken three performances and already this dude has come of age in the Temple. Did you see the stuff he did tonight?! There were the dives, there was that tornado DDT he did that is so breathtaking we might as well name it Yvonne Strahovski, there was that awe inspiring sequence with Fenix that might’ve been the best thing I’ve seen in wrestling since the end of the Mil Muertes-Fenix title match. Seriously, if you haven’t seen the work of art those two did towards the end of this match, you’re missing out. Ivelisse and the next guy I’m going to talk about will get a lot of rave reviews and deservedly so, but Azteca was just as good tonight as they were. This dude is going to be a star.
3). Jack Evans. It’s no secret that I, and many others, love Jack. He’s been an incredible in ring performer for many years who is now finally starting to get the spotlight thanks to his in ring work and the top notch persona he’s crafted. Tonight was the best work he’s ever done as an overall performer. He was funny, he was devious, he was a quote machine; hell he even did a handstand down the Temple steps on the way to the ring (he evidently fell down them yet again as well. Perhaps it’s time to book Jack Evans vs. The Stairs at Ultima Lucha II!). In the end, I have to admit that Jack Evans has proven he is indeed the man, the myth and the legend. There’s a 100% chance I’ll never hear the end of this now that I’ve said that.
In the end, the combination of career nights from those three plus excellent performances from everyone involved is likely to leave this match in the top half of the best matches Lucha Underground will have in season two. I’m not ready to call it the best; I would’ve liked to have seen Mr. Cisco get more of an opportunity here than he did (though I did like how the dissention between Ryan and Castro was highlighted, as well as Cortes gunning for Azteca at one point. That’s not coincidence; Castro knows the Azteca clan is involved with Cueto I’m sure). Besides that though, this was a great, super fun main event that lived up to expectations. And hey, we’ve also got new Trios Champions now in the Lucha Justice League! Do they defend against Ivelisse, Havoc and a healthy Angelico coming up? Is there another challenger in the wings? Make no mistake; the Trios division has indeed been revitalized from this match.
Weak and Powerless
There was only one scene tonight from Lucha Underground and boy did they choose a good one to show. Vampiro, who apparently is The Flash in his off hours because hot damn did he get out of the Temple quick, returned to his dojo where he encountered Pentagon Jr. And…yeah, things aren’t going well for the man of Cero Miedo, who was in a motorized wheel chair thanks to his encounter with Matanza. Luckily Vampiro has a plan to get Pentagon up and running again, which involves screaming at him to get up and then pouring hot wax on Pentagon till he screams like someone who is about to get diced by a horror film killer. The thing to take away from all of this; Pentagon has a long ass way to go before he can get back to the form he once was, and Vampiro is going to go to every length (including torture it seems) to do so. I told you all this was going to lead to a dark, twisted version of the Rocky training montage didn’t I?!
And that is how it ends dudes and dudettes. Hoped you enjoyed the column and the show as much as I did. I’ll be back soon with…something. What it is, only the universe knows. Till next time, another lucha libre film picture and the hilarity it brings!
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