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Ten Matches That Could/Should Happen in Lucha Underground Season 2

Updated on September 25, 2015

Alternative wrestling communication

I know what you’re thinking; Cult’s back already! What is this madness?! Turns out, I got a second wind tonight, which I owe to Nesquick, a renewed writing spirit and the number one match on this column which has me the most amped I’ve been since the words “My name is Max. My world is fire and blood” started the best movie I saw this year. And with that, I’ve already kind of given away what this column is on. Yes, it will once again be about Lucha Underground, only this time I’ll be talking about ten matches that could or should happen in the upcoming season two. I’m actually very proud of this list, which either means I did a really good job or I’m hyper as hell right now and think everything is awesome. Before we start, let me remind you (as usual) that just because the match you’re most excited to see maybe happen in season two isn’t on here doesn’t mean it’s not something I’m excited for. Pretty much, it means there’s more good stuff to choose from the LU than a Joss Whedon catalogue, and some things will just get left out. But enough explaining; let’s get to…more explaining! Jeez, walked into that one. ON WITH THE SHOW!!!


Ten Matches That Could/Should Happen in Lucha Underground Season 2


Johnny Mundo vs. The Mack


Let’s be real here; there are some things in life you don’t know you want till the actually happen, like Mr. Robot, the return of Surge soda or the comments section Deadspin (the funniest place on earth. Take my word for it). Johnny Mundo vs. The Mack is going to be one of those things. We’re talking two of the most unique talents in the LU for crying out loud. There’s Mundo, the athletic parkour/pound and ground Shaman of Sexy. There’s The Mack, the ridiculously talented, likeable dynamo who moves like Speed Racer and occasionally busts out the best Steve Austin imitation in the history of the western hemisphere. PUT THESE TWO TOGETHER ALREADY! Their unique styles clash, combined with how great a villain Mundo is and how unbelievably cool The Mack is would make for an exciting program and match. I haven’t even mentioned that Melina will be involved in it too! Imagine if her and Mundo got too much for Mack, leading to him finding a female partner? Goodness, I’m going to be way too excited by the time this column is done.


Prince Puma vs. Pentagon Jr.


I was originally going to make this a tag match between a team of Puma and Konnan against Pentagon and Vampiro. The more I think about it, this should be a one on one encounter with the two legends verbally and physically attacking each other at ringside. This should be a barnburner too, regardless of the heat between the managers that will undoubtedly drive it. I may be wrong, but I don’t recall Pentagon or Puma tangling at all during season one. Whoever came up with that (whether by design or accident), great job! Now this can be a marquee match for season two, with Prince Puma looking to regain form after losing to Mil Muertes, and Pentagon trying to take another step to the top of the Lucha Underground mountain. What’s not to love? By the way, I’d say the odds are very good that either Vamp takes a cane shot to the face from Konnan or Konnan takes a light tube to the face via Vamp in this match. Either or. Something will happen; it be like listening to a Metallica album and not getting the expected guitar solo. Excuse me while I go curse St. Anger some more.

Aztec Warfare 2


Because why not? The first one in season one was an underrated classic, so why not roll it out again for season two? I know what you’re thinking; Cult, where are you going to do it, and more importantly, how? The title won’t be on the line like the last time, and wouldn’t doing an Aztec Warfare match for the right to face the champion be a little to on the WWE nose? Yes, maybe it is a tad too similar, but so what? The match itself is a completely different animal than the Royal Rumble, and you don’t just stop doing something that’s freakin awesome just because something similar is out there. Should Johnny Mundo stop wrestling in LU just because he worked for WWE? Perhaps I’m speaking for myself (I’m probably not and am just being paranoid), but I’d like to see this match again. Then again, maybe I just enjoy well done thirty person mega matches.


Angelico and Jack Evans vs. Ivelisse and Son of Havoc


Picture this; it’s a warm summer’s eve in Boyle Heights. Angelico, Ivelisse and Son of Havoc are riding high, perhaps even have the Trios Championships back (let’s hope so!). All of a sudden, Jack Evans comes in with his rap music, his break dancing skills and his Mortal Kombat loving ways and ruins everything by turning Angelico to the dark side. What do we get from that? A bloody awesome tag team match between one of the best teams in Mexico and the greatest odd couple in Lucha Underground history. Tell me you wouldn’t watch that. There’d be heat, loveable underdogs, cocky heels, tons of high flying and you just know Jack is gonna break out one of those dance moves that makes Teddy Hart shed a tear from wherever he is. Plus, the thought of Ivelisse beating the tar out of Evans fills me to the brim with a feeling of goodness. And I love Evans. Shit, I just admitted that out loud.


Lucha Underground Championship Match

Mil Muertes (c) vs. Cage


Can I interest you in a battle of athletic big guy vs. athletic big guy? For all I know, this sadly isn’t in the cards, what with Mil and Cage both being rudos in the grand scheme. But man, wouldn’t this be great? Of all the people on roster right now, there’s a handful of people who’d be a legit threat for Mil’s title; Pentagon (because he’s just as ruthless a monster), Puma (almost beat Mil), Fenix (duh) and the man from the 559, who’s power, speed, athleticism and just overall bad ass nature make him the perfect guy to square off against Immortan Mil. This would be a slobber knocker of Mad Max: Fury Road proportions here, and could even be the most brutal match in the history of the Temple; which is saying something, because we’ve seen two men beat each other with light tubes, fire, thumbtacks, and probably other stuff that wasn’t shown on TV. Lucha Underground; where Kevin Harlan’s “NO REGARD FOR HUMAN LIFE” call rings true every time!


Triple Threat Match for the Gift of the Gods Championship

Fenix (c) vs. King Cuerno vs. Jack Evans


Honestly, this would be the first big match I would go with to start off the second season, probably in week two. There’s no doubt that our friendly neighborhood Deer Antlers and Fenix are going to tangle; you don’t end season one with Cuerno stalking Fenix in his Sam Peckipah pickup truck if you don’t mean to follow that up. What should happen before they delve into that though is add Evans to the mix. Let’s remember now, the Mortal Kombat champ and master of drunken kung fu almost won the Gift of the Gods title at Ultima Lucha, until Fenix eked it out in the end. Shouldn’t the man, myth and legend butt his head in here to get one last shot before Cuerno and Fenix beat each other into psychological oblivion? I think so, and I don’t think anyone would object to see these three go at it for the right to get potentially mutilated by the Beast King down the road.


Elimination Match for the Trios Championships

The Disciples of Death (c) vs. Ivelisse, Angelico and Son of Havoc


The rematch that everyone wants, if only because no one really cares for the Skelator Army at the moment and would greatly prefer to see the GREATEST TRIOS TEAM…THAT EVER LIVED (WOOOO!) back with those beautiful belts. And look, the rematch is going to happen. I may not be sure about many things, but I am about that, Steve Austin not wrestling at Wrestlemania 32 and Hollywood finally saying to James Franco, “Look, we made a mistake. Will you leave us alone now?”. Incoming Franco meme in three, two…

Anyways, my point here is since we know this match is going to happen, let’s spice it up a tad. And what better way to do it than to do an elimination match, where you can create a huge numbers disadvantage for the plucky babyfaces and build to a huge comeback? I don’t know about you, but I think this could be a great source for drama if they went that route, and it wouldn’t matter which member of our heroes would be the last one to try and pull it out. Ivelisse would be a natural underdog, even though I’m pretty sure she could wipe the Skelator Army off planet earth in a back alley. You know Angelico would get crazy if by himself; he might leap off Cueto’s office, the roof to that closet area on the other side of the Temple and maybe even the lights just to pull it out. And of course, Son of Havoc (Daniel Bryan with a mask, Shawn Michaels with the beard he always wanted but never could have) could play this role in his sleep. Perhaps rated higher on here than it would be, but I love the idea and I love those three underdogs, so why not?


Three Stages of Hell for the Lucha Underground Championship

Mil Muertes (c) vs. Fenix


Let me tell you now; if this match wasn’t leading to other potential big time scenarios, this would be the clear cut number one, because LOOK AT WHAT TYPE OF MATCH THAT IS!!! And let’s be real here; three stages of hell is pretty much the only place left for the Beast King and the man who uses Matt Hardy’s catchphrase better than he ever did (unlike you Matt, Fenix will not die) to go. They’ve had regular singles matches. They had the greatest casket/coffin match in the history of the western hemisphere. They had a death match that, on a scale from one to LUGER WON THE TITLE!, was quietly brilliant and almost as brutal as Grave Consequences was (almost). The only way to get more extreme and more creative is to go where the LU hasn’t gone before; a two out of three falls stipulation with some brutal stipulations thrown in for each fall. This is a feud that deserves the be all, end all of epic conclusions; this match right here will give you it. The question then becomes who gets the win? And that’s where the top two matches come into play here.


Lucha Underground Championship Match

Fenix (c) vs. Pentagon Jr.


I think if they haven’t already, Lucha Underground is going to reach a conclusion many of us in the Lucha Kliq have already reached; Pentagon Jr. is a one of a kind talent who deserves to have the Lucha Underground Championship sooner than later. I think he will get it, and I think this season will build to him winning the title (with Vamp cruising along in his wonderful vampire pope get up) at Ultima Lucha Part Deux. This then leads us to the all important question of who he faces for the title. Enter scenario one, and a much better scenario one than the one from BASEketball.

The sad tale of BASEketball's scenario one
The sad tale of BASEketball's scenario one

Yes, we did see Fenix and Pentagon Jr. tangle a few times during season one, so it’s not the freshest match up. At the same time, there’d be something very poetic about the two of them facing. For one, they’re both two of the youngest, most gifted members on the LU roster, two lucha stars who should be colliding with each other for the next twenty, maybe even thirty years (these lucha guys just wrestle forever). Secondly, they’re brothers. Yup, these two are real life brothers, which pretty much makes this an even more must see match because you know these two are going to do any and everything to make each other look like the title characters from Weezer’s “The Greatest Man That Ever Lived”. Add in that it fits with the typical technico vs. face alignment pattern, and this would without a doubt be a worthy Ultima Lucha main event. And yet, it’s not number one. Thus enter scenario two!

Lucha Underground Championship Match

Mil Muertes (c) vs. Pentagon Jr.


In the words of Leonardo DiCaprio right before the Titanic plunged into the ocean and turned him into the world’s prettiest popsicle, “This is it!”. And indeed it is; when I began to think about this column, this was the one match that popped into my head that I absolutely, 100% have to someday see. Sure, both of them are rudos and sure, maybe it doesn’t have the potency of future vs. future, brother vs. brother that Pentagon-Fenix would have. But man alive…could the LU put on a bigger match than this? I mean, this would be the Beast King, Immortan Mil Muertes, the most powerful man in Lucha Underground with the best manager in wrestling today going against the man with Ciero Miedo, the man with the vampire pope in his corner, the breaker of arms and hearts. The feel would be great. The spectacle would be massive. The match itself could be an all time classic. Frankly, the whole rudo vs. rudo thing doesn’t matter in compared to that. And here’s the most important rub; Lucha Underground has an AMAZING roster. Absolutely amazing. And yet, you’re not going to find a match with more buzz, more hype and more potential than the one between these two. Mil Muertes vs. Pentagon Jr. is a match I would sell my home to see. And I’m willing to bet I’m not alone there.


That’ll do it girls and boys. I’m out till tomorrow with who knows what. Till next time, O’Doyle rules (even if his whole family is going down), T.O. loves Orton, Coca Cola should really start selling Surge in places north of New York (Rhode Island would like some of that citrusy goodness too you know!), go Cubs, go QPR, don’t forget to tip your waitress, and of course, remember to look for the whereabouts of one Joseph “Coop” Cooper.

Seems legit
Seems legit

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