Lucha Underground Preview: Snakes in the Rabbit Hole
It’s time! It’s time! It’s Lucha Underground preview time! The week long wait is almost over folks and we’re speeding towards this week’s LU episode (and the LU midseason finale) like Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves in Speed. With the uncertainty over the midseason finale troubling some fans however, not to mention a card that features one sure thing from a match quality standpoint, you’d understand why to some this LU episode feels a little like Speed 2: Cruise Control. Hey, that’s generally when LU works the best though am I right? Besides, how can people not be hyped when Paul London, snakes, dinosaurs, lizards, potentially dragons and Big Willie Mack are involved?! With that said let’s get to breaking this bad boy down. Moses, go go Memezilla!
The Snake Tribe vs. Paul London, Saltador, Mala Suerte
What to Expect: It’s a semi big one folks. For starters, PAUL LONDON and the crew are back for the first time since they tripped acid and came up just short of taking the LU Trios Titles from Drago, Aerostar and Fenix. Anything that brings them back is (Mike Francesca voice) YOOOOGE! The problem is their return coincides with the debut of the Snake Tribe in trios action. I’ve been around long enough to know that a lizard/snake/dinosaur combo is significantly stronger than rabbits (even rabbits under heavily hallucinogens) and that should definitely be the case here. The intrigue for this match is going to be how much the reptiles bring to the table in ring (Pindar has been great outside of LU and Vibora has shown promise) and who exactly is working the match for this team. I think we may be in for a surprise there sports fans. Would you really put it past Kobra Moon to put Drago in this match instead of herself? He is their slave right now after all and him working with the reptiles (even reluctantly) would be enough to crush the souls of Fenix and Aerostar just a smidge more. I could be completely wrong about that and Kobra is in this match, but it’s something I’d keep an eye out for.
Winners: The Snakes and pretty easily too, regardless of who’s on the team. I love London and I love the concept of his team, but they’re clearly stuck in limbo right now while Kobra, Pindar, Vibora and a reluctant (or non reluctant) Drago are on the way up. Thus you’ll see London and co. try to mind trip the lizards, fail and get pulverized fairly quickly.
Sexy Star vs. Mariposa
What to Expect: You know, I really thought that once we got away from Sexy Star in the LU title picture people would be able to relax and look at Sexy more objectively. NOPE! If anything, my disagreement with Rob Viper last night has revealed that people will continue to react to Sexy like this…
This brings us to Sexy Star vs. Mariposa, the first time these two have faced off since their spectacular No Mas match a little less than a year ago. On the one hand that match was so strong that even the most diehard Sexy hater can agree it worked (to some degree), so LU trying to bring back this match is a pretty decent idea in theory. On the other hand the reason the first match worked so well were because it had a very personal story behind it (Sexy was kidnapped and tortured by Mariposa, losing herself in the process) that built to the a fittingly violent and emotional conclusion. This rematch is a mere singles match that has none of that heat or story, unless you count Sexy accusing Mariposa of sending her spiders. It also involves a Mariposa who, aside from the No Mas match and that Battle of the Bulls four way a few weeks ago, has been just as underwhelming as Sexy Star in LU to this point. We say this a lot about Sexy Star matches but this is one you shouldn’t have high hopes for, unless you’re interested in seeing who is behind the tarantulas. And even then that’s only a reveal; even if that’s decent (and I think it may be) it doesn’t change that this match will be, at best, mediocre unless Sexy steps up and Mariposa is motivated.
Winner: The midseason finale clearly sets up the “tarantula” dude or dudette being revealed here, which means Mariposa is winning via some sort of shenanigans. So who is the person sending Sexy spiders? I’m not sure. My original guess was Ricky Mandel, but he now appears to be sliding into the role of Johnny Mundo fan boy (though I wouldn’t discount him). The Rabbit Tribe is a possibility too if they’re taking them down a darker path; I’m just not sure they are. There’s also another possibility…but we’ll get there in a moment. Regardless of whom this person is he or she will easily wind up being the most interesting part of this match. Well aside from fans attacking each other with pitchforks and knives over the never ending “what do you think of Sexy Star?” debate.
Lucha Underground Championship Match
Johnny Mundo (c) vs. The Mack
What to Expect: Just the match the doctor ordered. We’re here because Big Willie won the Battle of the Bulls, followed by Mundo retaining the LU Championship against Sexy Star the same night. Oh, and because Sexy and Mack are thick as thieves (they even have a secret handshake, the true sign of being best friends), making it more than natural that Big Willie would be the next guy Mundo would have to go through. Put all that together, add the fact that both these guys are really, REALLY good and I expect this match will be great…at least until the final few minutes. The Worldwide Underground will definitely be making an appearance to help out Johnny and I wouldn’t doubt Sexy’s involvement here either (which could make things really interesting as I’ll explain shortly). As long as you can look past that however (HA!) this should easily be LU’s first great match of 2017 and another showcase for the ultra talented Mack. You can’t go wrong there.
Winner: Mundo is definitely winning this one; a cowardly, cocky rudo like him who needs cheating and help to win should only be losing the title come Ultima Lucha Tres, which is what I believe the plan to be. It’s the aftermath of this match you have to walk out for. Why; because I’m still not convinced Mack isn’t the guy sending Sexy the spiders. That would be absolutely heartbreaking to some (the Sexy-Mack friendship is perhaps the last thing about Sexy Star most people like) and a little out of left field. But with no clear cut candidate, the subtle teasing Sexy and Mack have made to each other about them facing off in matches and the huge shock it would be…I don’t know I just got a feeling it could be in the works. Basically, don’t be surprised if Sexy gets involved in this match, accidentally costs Big Willie the match and Mack attacks her afterwards in a rage before revealing he’s been playing mind games with her all along. I want a year supply of 7 Up from everybody if this turns out to be right.
And scene. Hope you enjoyed sports fans. I’ll be back tonight to break down CMLL’s Tuesday show in Arena Mexico. Till then, DUCHOVNY has returned to claim his throne.