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LuchaPalooza! CMLL Tuesday Preview (Uninspired)

Updated on September 5, 2016

This isn’t going to be the happiest of preview columns here folks. For one the news just broke that Máscara Dorada is heading to WWE and tonight might be his final match for CMLL, which while nice for all the fans of the mother ship is sad for us lucha crazies. And then there’s the show I’m previewing, tomorrow’s CMLL Tuesday show. It could use some work folks. The matches for the most part all look okay but there appears to be no stories going into the show and very little hope of there being stories developed during the show. Basically it’s going to be a just kind of there show; well besides the chance for us to see the cool 83rd Anniversary logo again. But enough about that, let’s give a breakdown that’s about as inspiring as the show will be. Moses, just put the damn meme up.

Fantasy & Último Dragóncito vs. Pequeño Olimpico & Pequeño Violencia


What to Expect: As far as opening matches go this one has got some potential. Alright Fantasy and Dragóncito have potential, whereas everything else is pretty much standard. I take it this match will be better than the usual opener. Not by a whole lot mind you, but the Mini-Estrellas generally do get away with more in the early matches (they’re actually allowed to dive every now and then) and the inclusion of a talented guy in Fantasy will help this bout. It’s not going to challenge for Match of the Evening, but it’ll be better than your usual CMLL opener.


Winners: When in doubt go with the rudos, especially when one of them has the name Olímpico in some shape or form. NEXT!


Flyer, Magnus, Sensei vs. Cancerbero, Metálico, Raziel


What to Expect: All things considered this is a pretty intriguing second match here. I can’t believe I’m saying that about a team with Cancerbero on it, but he actually looked pretty decent a few weeks ago. That was with Virus of course but good is good and maybe he and Raziel can continue the streak with the always entertaining Metálico involved. Of course no one is here to see the technicos, especially when you have Flyer and Sensei involved. Oh and their amazing partner who has FINALLY returned to wow us once more.

All Zoolander jokes aside it’s great to see the underrated Magnus back after several weeks off and he should be more than welcome here. Flyer and Sensei are both talented guys who seem to work better when they’re paired up with really talented partners. Good thing Magnus is a really talented guy. That doesn’t guarantee anything in the second match of a Tuesday show where fun goes to die and I cannot stress how important it is for the rudos to actually show a pulse. If they can and the technicos can be creative then this could be a sleeper match. We shouldn’t even miss Virus that much. Who am I kidding; we always miss Virus!


Winners: Really no reason for the rudos to win here, which of course means they’re chances are great. I’ll go with the technicos instead because a) I’m really biased towards Flyer and Magnus and b) they deserve to win the gorram match and I’m an optimistic fellow. If you don’t believe me now…you probably won’t after the next match. Trust me; it gets dark in that break down.


Hombre Bala Jr., Oro Jr., Súper Halcón Jr. vs. Disturbio, Puma, Skándalo


What to Expect: Another intriguing match and probably more so than its predecessor since the dive restrictions will come off. There are three things I want to see here. First, we need a large dose of Hombre Bala Jr. and Puma going against each other. These are the two best guys in the match and them interacting for the bulk of it is a must. Second, CMLL either needs to make Skándalo an afterthought or use him as a pick your spots heater as he was effectively last week in a match with The Panthers. Finally, Súper Halcón Jr. needs to be here for this match and if he’s not then CMLL better have someone like Soberano Jr. ready to step in. If CMLL can check all those things off than this should be a fairly entertaining match. Will they? There’s a better chance of Uwe Boll winning an Oscar this year. Told you it would get dark!


Winners: Rudos. It doesn’t really matter as nothing is being set up so I’m going with my gut and my gut says the rudos. Then again my gut also said John Carter would be a huge hit at the box office.


Lightning Match

Star Jr. vs. Sagrado


What to Expect: We’ve finally reached the first sure fire good match of the Tuesday show, pitting up and coming high flyer against the leader of the Bullying Club. No disrespect to Sagrado but this match is pretty much all about Star Jr., who might be one of the most underrated performers CMLL has at its disposal right now. Have you seen this kid the last few times out? He’s looked like he was blessed with the genes of Superman, Carístico and The Rocketeer minus the jetpack, and that’s just from his appearances in trios and tag matches. Now he’ll get at least five minutes with just Sagrado to show off what he can do? I can’t imagine I’ll be the only one glued to the computer screen. I don’t think this will quite live up to the epic Lightning Match Soberano and Hechicero had a few weeks ago but as long as Sagrada comes to play this should be good to great and might be the Match of the Evening.


Winner: This would be a great time to give Star Jr. a really cool win; naturally you have to bet that CMLL ignores that fact and goes with Sagrado to win here sometime around the 6:50 mark. That’s sadly what I’ll be doing. Prove me wrong Paco and get behind this kid. He can be a star.

Did I use that right?
Did I use that right?

Blue Panther, Esfinge, Guerrero Maya Jr. vs. Bobby Z, Dragón Rojo Jr., Pólvora


What to Expect: And we have another quality match here if you take away Esfinge’s atrocious theme music. Having a lobotomy performed on you is more fun than hearing that musical disease. I probably would’ve preferred Virus in Pólvora’s place so he and Blue Panther could continue their sweet technical wrestling, but where Rojo goes Pólvora goes and the presence of Bobby Z should be more than enough to make up for it as long as he’s provided something to do. Really the only question I have for this match, and will have for every other match Maya and Rojo have from this day till the ending of the world, is if this is the show where CMLL finally gives in and pulls the trigger on setting up a match between these two? I sure as hell hope so but I was certain of it last week and what did we get? Zilch. Nada. NUNCA! The match will be fine regardless but man CMLL could really use a nice feud to go into the Legends Show a little less than two weeks from now and Rojo-Maya would be ideal. Dammit I’m just getting my hopes up now.


Winners: Last week’s Maya-Rojo trios match ended with Rojo’s team winning though neither guy was involved in the finish. This week I expect the opposite result to take place though once more neither guy will be involved. Look for Esfinge to get the victory for the technicos over Bobby Z in the third fall, a moment that every lucha fan I know will react well too. And yes, you bet your ass I’m going that route to try and jinx it so something does finally develop in the Rojo-Maya feud. The people want this match; THE PEOPLE NEED THIS MATCH!


Atlantis, Stuka Jr., Titán vs. Cavernario, Mephisto, Último Guerrero


What to Expect: Say what you will about the Tuesday show but the last month or so you could at least always count on there being a) a main event with great potential or b) a main event with something interesting that could lead to a future match with great potential. This main event has lot of talented people in it, should be very good and sees the return of Titán to CMLL shows and a main event gig for Stuka. But for right now that (and Atlantis dishing out at least one amazing backbreaker) is all this bout and it’ll need to set up some sort of angle in order to give this show (and most importantly next week’s show) some much needed life. Maybe CMLL, noticing how great Stuka has been recently, finally nuts up and gives him a big match against UG or Mephisto (both of whom are holding titles at the moment). Maybe CMLL wants to throw Atlantis a bone after putting him on the Anniversary Show backburner and sets up something with him and one of the rudos. Maybe they want to do something with Titán! Either way CMLL just give us something here. This is a good match that has the potential to be even better if you give it some meaning. I’m hoping they do; I’m just not sure that they will.


Winners: I may sound like a broken record but who cares; there HAS to be something of note done here and I think it’s going to come in the form of UG. He did after all steal those wins over Volador the last few weeks due to his well established cleverness and I think he uses that again here to set up a match with either Titán or Stuka. I’m not sure which one, but whichever one it’ll be will get fouled in the third fall while the ref isn’t looking, followed by a rudo victory and the beginnings of a build to a match between UG and his wronged opponent sometime in the next few weeks. I’m pretty much banking on blind hope with that prediction there by the way. That’s lucha libre for you; it’s wacky, it’s fun, it’s horrifying and sometimes you just never know what’s going to happen. Who knows if that’s a good thing or not.


And scene. Thank goodness too; I almost fell asleep on this column three times due to the boredom. I’ll be back later in a (hopefully) rejuvenated state to review tonight’s CMLL show in Puebla. Till then, something with Spidey.

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