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Major League Baseball Is A Joke

Updated on July 31, 2009

Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game.

Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.

Baseball is played on a diamond, in a park. The baseball park!

Football is played on a gridiron, in a stadium, sometimes called Soldier Field or War Memorial Stadium.

Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life.

Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.

Football has hitting, clipping, spearing, piling on, personal fouls, late hitting and unnecessary roughness.

Baseball has the sacrifice.

Football is played in any kind of weather: rain, snow, sleet, hail, fog...

In baseball, if it rains, we don't go out to play.

Baseball has no time limit: we don't know when it's gonna end — might have extra innings.

Football is rigidly timed, and it will end even if we've got to go to sudden death.

In baseball, during the game, in the stands, there's kind of a picnic feeling; emotions may run high or low, but there's not too much unpleasantness.

In football, during the game in the stands, you can be sure that at least twenty-seven times you're capable of taking the life of a fellow human being.

And finally, the objectives of the two games are completely different:

In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line.

In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! — I hope I'll be safe at home! - R.I.P. - George Carlin

You know if you’re a runningback in the NFL and you ran for 100 yards in a game, how many yards did you run for? 100 yards, if you were outside and it was raining or if it was inside on the turf it was still 100 yards.

Now if you play baseball and you hit a home run, how many feet was it? Depends on the ballpark right? Why? Why is it that some parks have huge walls while others have short ones, some are far back and some are up closer?

The announcers call them hitters parks or pitchers parks but you don’t see that anywhere else, the NBA doesn’t have point guard courts and power forward courts. While everybody is worried about people taking steroids killing the credibility of the game what they fail to realize is the game has no credibility to begin with.

Chill out people, relax, baseball isn’t going anywhere, Americas most boring sport has a long life ahead of it, yeah, a long double standard filled, judgmental life.

Are you seriously going to sit here and tell me that admitted drug attics, KKK members, wife beaters, and guys who admit to taking speed while playing deserve to be in the hall of fame but if you bet on baseball you’re the baseball equivalent of the anti-Christ?

Let's see KKK member or the guy who bet on baseball, the guy who took speed or the guy who took roids, the spitballer or the batter with the corked bat. Then on top of everything else at least once a year you’ve birds or some other animal affecting the outcome of a game.It seems like it happens all the time, somebody makes a bird explode with a pitch or some other Americas Funniest Videos moment happens on a baseball diamond.

I really don’t know how anybody can take this sport seriously, you tell me baseball fans I’m just an observer stopping to look at a car crash on my way to watching real sports. I mean come on people, they can't even keep the results of a "private" drug test from getting plastered all over the news. Maybe its just me but baseball is a joke and I don't see it every being anything more than that.


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      J0ker 5 years ago

      Baseball is a huge farce. 162 game season, sitting in an enclosed dugout eating seeds, chewing tobacco and putzing around. They play so many games because it places no strain on your body to sit 99.9% of the time like they do. Baseball is more pathetic than soccer

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      nhl 5 years ago

      baseball is a boring sport to play. all you do is pack tobacoo and shoot up roids.

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      Tyler 5 years ago

      Travis, you obviously have not ever played baseball. Do you understand how much skill these players have?

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      Travis 7 years ago

      seriously greg? Baseball is a joke. How do these players get paid so much to stand or sit around 95% of the time. Ridiculous.

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      Greg 7 years ago

      I'd like to see a football player take a 96 mph fastball to the ribs