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Messi set to sign for Arsenal!
In a surprising turn of events it has emerged that Leo Messi, the Barcelona stalwart is set to sign for Arsenal as a shock move in the January transfer window. Messi is reportedly unhappy with the Barcelona senior management in the after-math of the Ballon d'or award ceremony. Further reports also suggest that an altercation with Andres Iniesta (winner Ballon d'or) took place shortly after the awards ceremony. "He FINISHED ALL MY HAIR-GEL. He doesn't even have hair!" Messi yelled at reporters.
Messi is reportedly unhappy with the lack of support he received from the Barcelona management, claiming that no one consoled him after Andres Iniesta piped just ahead of him for the Ballon d'or. "He wouldn't even let me touch the trophy. I share my stuff all the time. We even share the same love interest in Shakira (don't tell Pique!)"
The great Argentine is expected to leave Barcelona this winter and join Arsenal as a shock move in the January window.
Though the move is expected to come through, it is still not known how Arsenal will meet the the Barcelona valuation of the super Argentine. A fee around £95 million is reportedly being demanded by Barcelona. This fee is more than six times greater than Arsenals record transfer fee to date. And unless Arsenal is about to be bought by a Qatari billionaire it is unlikely they will be able to cough up such an enormous amount.
In a hastily held press conference outside the Emirates Stadium, Arsene Wenger seemed hopeful of the deal going through. "It was very easy agreeing to personal terms with him (Messi). I vowed to sign his child should he ever have one. My record with signing young players without any experience is excellent. And the youth setup at Arsenal is great, just look at Carl Jenkinson, he is hardly troubled by anyone who doesn't have pace."
Asked further about how Arsenal will manage funds for the Argentine, Wenger remained philosophical in his response. "We have acted as a feeder club to Barcelona, selling our best players just when they were reaching their peak but even a feeder needs to be filled at one point." He further added "We have also been trophy-less far too long and even if we don't win anything this year atleast he (Messi) can add some of his own individual trophies. For years club directors have been asking me to demolish the trophy room for a sports bar, this way it will finally be of some use. Its a WIN-WIN situation." He said thoughtfully.
Finally, when asked by a reporter how confident he was in actually signing Leo Messi. Wenger came up with a classic response. With a smile he said, "Who's Lionel Messi?"
Meanwhile a scream in Amsterdam was reported to be heard just after the Netherlands-Turkey world cup qualifier.
Canny92 is a freelance writer based in Karachi. If you like what you see follow him on Facebook!
All "facts" and quotes in this article are made up. Obviously! You probably guessed it as well. Good for you!