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Some Uproarious Jokes for You!

Updated on September 21, 2017
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We are a team of authors of best selling golf books and golf humorists.

Have No Further Fear Of Telling A Great Joke

Ever tell a joke that goes flat? Check this old Buddy Hackett vid out, then use the jokes that follow. You won't go flat again!

How To Definitely Get A Laugh The Second Time: Animate and Exaggerate

This Video is Priceless Showing Animation, Varying Your Voice, And Exaggeration

Did you see Buddy's animations, exaggerations etc? His antics are classic.

Watch the Genius of Robin Williams

Watch Robin Move Around As He Tells Jokes

Robin Williams starts his story sitting down then hears the audience begin to chuckle, he stands and watch his animations and exaggerations grow as the laughter gets louder.

You Tell A Bad Joke? Try these!

Source
Source

A John Daly Quote And Great Joke

John Daly is one of the great long ball golfers of all time who is just himself and doesn't pretend to be anyone but himself.

“There are probably some things I could do to keep my flexibility up, but I'd rather smoke, drink diet Cokes and eat.” -John Daly

So, if the conversation turns to sport or golf, try this John Daly joke:

John Daly gave up golf for awhile and decided to try (among all things) Steeplehorse racing.

“Well John, since you’re new, we’re going to start you out on “Feedbag”. She’s really fast and can jump like hell but before you reach a jump, you got to yell out, ‘ally ooop’ real loud, the trainer told John.

“No problem,” John replied. As he approached the first jump, John being a little embarrassed, didn’t say anything and Feedbag crashed right through the rails of the jump breaking it all apart. Through the flying wood, Feedbag kept going and John was still on her headed straight for the second jump. This time John whispered in her ear, “ally ooop,” but Feedbag crashed right through the second jump headed for the third jump. This time John yelled as loud as he could, “ALLY OOOP” and Feedbag took off like a rocket and cleared it easily.

John trotted back to the trainer. “What the hell’s wrong with this horse? Is it stupid?”

“No, she ain’t stupid, she’s just blind.”

***



A Joke With A Great Punchline

Source

This Joke With A Surprise Punch Line Gets You A Laugh.

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. She wasn’t aware that her 10 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the same closet. The boy now has company.

Boy: "Dark in here."

Man: "Yes it is."

Boy: "I have a golf ball."

Man: "That's nice."

Boy: "Want to buy it?"

Man: "No, thanks."

Boy: "My dad's outside."

Man: "OK, how much?"

Boy: "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens again, and the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.

Boy: "Dark in here."

Man: "Yes, it is."

Boy: "I have a pitching wedge."

Man: "That's nice."

Boy: "Want to buy it?"

Man: "No, thanks."

Boy: "I'll tell."

Man: "How much?"

Boy: "$750."

Man: "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your pitching wedge and a ball, let's go outside and practice chipping."

The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."

The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The son says, "$1,000."

The father says, "That's terrible to over-charge your friends like that. That’s way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door. The boy says, "Dark in here."

The priest says, "Don't start that crap again."

***

Remember to vary your voice from a very smart kid to a nervous clergyman.



A Comedian Robot

Source

A Short Joke To Animate

A man bought a Lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. He decided to test it at dinner.

DAD: I shot a 79 today at the golf course (robot slaps Dad). Okay, I shot a 99.

DAD: Son where were you today during school hours?

SON: At school (Robot slaps the Son) and he immediately changes his mind. Okay I went to the movies.

DAD: Which one?

SON: Harry Potter (Robot slaps Son again!) Okay I was watching porno.

DAD: What? When I was your age I didn’t even know what porn was! (Robot slaps dad)

MOM: Haha! After all he is your Son! (Robot gives Mom a slap).

***


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Remember, Laughing makes you happy and healthy!

© 2016 Team Golfwell

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