Beware: Innocent Dangers of Spring Time
Here we are
a civilized folk living in a civilized world. I know. I have made a faux pa in stating in the general sense that we live in a civilized world. We live in a mostly civilized world. In a few short days it will be spring time again and man, are we ready for this change of seasons.
It seems like years since we were able to get out of our heated homes, throw down our blankets, and enjoy the sunshine of a beautiful spring day and the fun it can bring. Yes, the two spring day and fun go hand-in-hand.
But in a sensible, mature, intrinsic fashion, I would like to point out to you that spring time fun can be dangerous to your life and health. Please don't laugh. As you recall I was the only one (with guts enough) to publish the dangers of a seemingly peaceful forest. I can do the same for spring time. This season looks harmless, sounds harmless, but friends, if you do not watch out, you can become a victim of "The 'Innocent' Dangers of Spring Time."
Note: I am going to deal with the four major areas of spring time as to not load you down with needless jargon and pointless rhetoric that might prevent you from having a great time outside with your family and friends.
Barbecues: Health Hazard in Disguise of Charcoal
1.) Burns caused by people abusing cold beer at a neighborhood barbecue and stumbling into a hot grill. If you have a barbecue this spring and you will, please inform your guests (in a friendly way) if they are going to "get ripped" on beer, to please stay clear of your grill. Legal fact: you could be held liable for injuires on your property caused by clumsy drunk people. Just in case, place a sign in plain sight that states: "Stumbling on This Hot Grill Will Cause Injury."
2.) Choking on ribs, burgers, even hotdogs can be cause for concern at a spring time barbecue. Be sure that you or someone at your gathering knows the Heimlich Maneuver if one of your friends tries to swallow a big mouthful of steak without chewing and starts to choke. Have you ever thought of this one?
3.) Sharp utensils are another hidden danger at spring time barbecues. You are the perfect host or hostess. You set a nice outdoor picnic table complete with sharp knives and forks for guests to eat their food like civilized folk, but there is always that one individual who is a great neighbor, but is more clumsy than an elephant with three legs. Mixing this person with a sharp utensil is just asking for trouble. As a friendly gesture, cut this person's steak for him or her. This is not just a friendly move, but it can save you some hefty legal fees.
Sunburns can Burn You and Your Budget
1.) Sure it feels great to lay down in the warm sun and relax after enduring a long cold winter. But if you have been drinking heavily, the chances of you dozing off are high, so keep the booze at a moderate level and enjoy a good time in the sun.
2.) If you are easy to contract a serious sunburn, use your correct sun screen to avoid such a painful end to such a relaxing spring day. Not just any PF will work. See your dermatologist to get your skin checked so you will use the correct sun screen. (I bet you thought that this was going to be a comedy piece, huh?)
3.) Start out slow when you are trying to get a tan from the sun. Do not do like I have over the years--trying to get the tan in one day. I found out just how foolish this move was on my part after I would get singed while enjoying the first few days of early spring only to have to have my wife rub me down with sunscreen, margarine and sometimes mustard to kill the pain of sunburn. Just be smart and moderate when you go for a sun tan.
Lawnmowers and Lawn Mowing: Backyard Mine Fields
1.) Know your lawnmower inside and out. Read your owner's manual as if it were the Bible. You knowing your lawnmower (well) can save you time, money, and hospital bills. Do not be so prideful that you live in the deception "you can face the world alone and win," for this attitude in itself is not only foolish, but scary. Before each time that you mow your grass, check your lawnmower's oil, gas, and engine to see that everything is where it should be.
2.) Clear your lawn of obstructions before mowing. Although this is a remedial tip, getting into a habit of doing this one can also save you time, hospital bills, and the hefty cost of repairs to your mower. Make sure that there are no empty beer cans or bottles (left from that great barbecue you had last weekend at your house) hiding in the grass because even with a safety guard on your mower, flying glass particles can be deadly to innocent bystanders. If you have children, make sure that "Susie's" doll and "Johnny's" air rifle are not laying unseen in the tall grass. Hey, why is your grass so high anyway?
3.) Always wear a dust mask aka/surgical mask when you mow the lawn. If you are a victim of sinus problems or allergies, this is a must. Be smart. Take care of business before you start your mower.
Check Your Pool so You Won't be "Swimming" in Problems
1.) A nice, long, leisurely swim is just the ticket for a hot spring day. But you didn't check your pool and now you, a family member or neighbor is having problems keeping themselves above the water. You did not get that long piece of rope that you were using last summer to play "Sea Hunt' (with Lloyd Bridges) with your wife and now the rope has wound around your neighbor's ankle. Since he is not an Olympic-grade swimmer, he is frantic and could have a heart attack. This is why you need to treat your pool just like your lawn and make sure that it is free of all obstructions before swimming.
2.) Make sure that the chemicals you use are at a safe percentage. Too much chlorine might cause health problems for children or adults who accidentally swallow a big mouthful of pool water.
3.) Make sure that the water is pure and free from bacteria, dead insects and empty beer bottles (from last year's last barbecue blow-out you held on Labor Day). Be smart and use a tarp to cover your pool after you drain it for the fall and winter. A little preparation goes a long way when having fun in the spring.
Washing the Family Car is not Always Fun
1.) Having a little fun while washing the family car is fine, but too much horseplay is knocking on danger's door. If you are not careful, you or a friend might slip on the slippery sidewalk and hurt themselves and yes, you could be held liable. Be the kind "life guard" so to speak when washing the car with your wife, kids, and neighbors. A little safety will help you have more fun.
2.) Soapy sponges and rags can become dangerous weapons if used to splash the soap into the eyes of friends and family. Have fun, but be careful. Warn the people you are about to splash: "Hey, Tom, incoming!" No. Don't use that one. "Tom" might be a Vietnam vet with flashback's. Just yell, "Tom, here comes the water!" is a good warning.
3.) Did you know that cold beer and car washing (can) be dangerous? Yes. You and your buddy, "Larry," are real men--strong, confident, and in tip-top physical shape. So are your lovely wives. But too much booze mixed with two great male friends whose pretty wives are wearing those daring two-piece bathing suits can be a disaster waiting to happen. How? What if "Larry," drinks too much and starts making passes at your wife? Are you going to just stand by idly and let this happen? No. First you try diplomacy. Then when "Larry" kicks your butt due to his being a retired Navy SEAL, you try to fight for your wife's honor and get beaten up again. I ask you: Is this your idea of early spring time fun? If you, "Larry," and the pretty wives insist on a car wash, drink moderately and responsibly.
Question: Be honest. Aren't you glad that I published this helpful hub?
Good night, Cedar Town, Georgia.
© 2017 Kenneth Avery