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Philadelphia Eagles are the Laughingstocks of the NFL

Updated on January 14, 2016

The rest of the NFL isn't laughing with Philadelphia Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie, they're laughing at him. That's because Lurie and his franchise are a complete joke.

News has just come out that the team is going to hire Doug Pederson to be their next head coach. You're excused if you have no idea who that is. I mean, it's not like Pederson was a hot coaching candidate. As a matter of fact, the Eagles were the only team to even have Pederson on their list of coaching candidates, let alone grant him an interview. In short, nobody else besides Lurie and his cabana-boy / GM Howie Roseman wanted him.

The Eagles couldn't get Andy Reid back so they settled for Doug Pederson
The Eagles couldn't get Andy Reid back so they settled for Doug Pederson

Pederson has no head coaching experience, unless you count his time coaching a high school team from 2005 through 2008. And the only head coach he ever worked for was Andy Reid.

Ah-ha. There's your answer right there. The only reason the Eagles are hiring Pederson is that they want Reid back after their bad experience with Chip Kelly. Think about it. The Eagles are like a guy who dated a girl for say, 14 years, only to dump her because things got stale and he didn't see a future with her any longer. He then begins dating a new girl, fresh out of college, who is flashy and crazy. It's exciting at first, but then the guy realizes that this chick is really, really crazy and she's just not worth all the drama after all. Then, when the guy breaks up with the crazy girl, he realizes that he wants his ex-girlfriend back. The problem is that the ex got married and moved to someplace like Kansas City. That leaves the guy settling for the ex's ugly sister. She's not quite the ex, but she's familiar and safe and she'll do anything you want. Doug Pederson is the ugly sister, Eagles fans.

I have no idea if Pederson will be a good coach or not. Nobody knows, since he is an offensive coordinator in name only. Reid calls the plays the majority of the time in KC. Plus, Pederson has only been an OC for three years, after a short stint as a quality control assistant, then QB coach under Reid in Philly. We can assume he'll run a West-Coast offense, since he's only worked for Reid. But we'll have to wait and see if he's also learned Reid's horrible in-game time-management skills. Somewhere in the New England area, Bill Belichick just might be cracking a slight smile at the memory of the last seven minutes of Super Bowl XXXIX, right now.

Patriots coach Bill Belichick and Eagles coach Andy Reid after Super Bowl XXXIX
Patriots coach Bill Belichick and Eagles coach Andy Reid after Super Bowl XXXIX

Of course, the Eagles can't confirm the hiring, since the Chiefs are still playing this weekend in New England. The Eagles only confirmed that they have concluded their search for a coach. Real smooth Jeffrey.

We don't know who will be on Pederson's staff in Philly, but there is a rumor that Lurie and Roseman are insisting that Duce Staley be the offensive coordinator.

And that right there explains why Doug Pederson will soon be the new head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles.

Is Duce Staley the next offensive coordinator of the Philadelphia Eagles?
Is Duce Staley the next offensive coordinator of the Philadelphia Eagles?

Do you think Doug Pederson was the right choice as Eagles head coach?

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It's no secret that Roseman has a horrible reputation around the NFL. The only person in the NFL he can seemingly get along with is Lurie. Everyone else who has ever worked with Roseman has nothing nice to say about the man. Some of that may be sour grapes, since Roseman has fired almost all of the people who have ever worked for the Eagles, but there is enough evidence to support the theory that Roseman is not a people-person. But his and Lurie's insistence on Staley being the offensive coordinator is certainly what drove away any of the decent head coaching candidates around the league.

Pederson was at least the fourth choice on Lurie and Roseman's wish list. Adam Gase interviewed with the Eagles, but decided to take the Miami Dolphins job instead. The Dolphins haven't been good since Don Shula retired. Ben McAdoo decided to stay with the Giants and become their new head coach, rather than work for the Eagles. And the guy McAdoo is replacing in New York, Tom Coughlin, took his name out of the running today after the rumor about Staley being the OC came out. Coincidence? I think not. Coughlin's only other interview was with the 49ers, who just hired Chip Kelly. Apparently Coughlin would rather not work than work for Lurie and Roseman.

Two-time Super Bowl winning coach Tom Coughlin would rather not coach than coach the Eagles
Two-time Super Bowl winning coach Tom Coughlin would rather not coach than coach the Eagles

There were plenty of other, better, candidates out there, but the Eagles either didn't want to interview them or those candidates didn't want to even talk to the Eagles. Yes, Kelly left the Eagles in a bit of a mess with the salary cap and without a QB (once Sam Bradford leaves for Houston in free agency), but there is some talent on the roster. Yet, the Eagles hired a guy nobody else in the NFL was even considering as their head coach. Hell, even the Browns hired a head coach before the Eagles. And that coach, Hue Jackson, has a much better reputation around the NFL than Pederson does. But they're still the Browns. They use to be the team the rest of the NFL laughed at. Now, it's the Eagles. Hey Jeffrey, at least you're finally the "Gold Standard" at something.

The Eagles didn't even consider any defensive coaches, like Sean McDermott, Teryl Austin or Paul Guenther. Why? Because Lurie and Roseman just aren't that bright. Why consider all your options, when you can just have a narrow focus on one thing, offense. It's not like defense wins in the NFL, right?

The only positive I can come up with is something that was pointed out to me today. The best coaches are normally the guys who weren't the best players. Pederson played 12 years in the NFL, but most of that time was spent holding a clipboard on the sideline. The only exception was the first 9 games of the 1999 season, when Reid didn't want to throw his rookie QB to the wolves just yet. Pederson went 2-7 in 1999 and was 3-14 in 17 career starts. He also played for Don Shula and Mike Holmgren, so maybe he actually picked up something worthwhile about offense from them. Hopefully he saw them call a running play once in a while.

But this isn't even about Pederson. Whether he's good, bad or average doesn't matter.

The only reason Pederson will be hired as the newest head coach of the Eagles is because he is familiar and safe. He won't rock the boat. He won't question Howie's authority. He'll do what he's told with the roster and with his coaching staff and he'll be content to just coach the team. He isn't exciting, but Lurie and Roseman already got burned by exciting with their last coaching hire. Now they want boring.(Yawn)

The ghost of Andy Reid still haunts the Eagles franchise
The ghost of Andy Reid still haunts the Eagles franchise

I've said before that the Eagles will never win a Super Bowl while Jeffrey Lurie owns the team and hiring Pederson just proves my point.

Then Eagles hired a coach that nobody else in the NFL wanted. Heck, they hired a coach that nobody else in the NFL was even considering.

They did it because he was familiar. They did it because they couldn't get anybody else, they wanted. They did it because nobody else wanted them. Ultimately, the Philadelphia Eagles will hire Doug Pederson as their next head coach because Lurie and Roseman missed Reid and Pederson was the closest thing they could get to their dear, Big Red.

My condolences, Eagles fans.


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    • Bob Whalon profile image

      Bob Whalon 2 years ago from Souderton, PA

      Sorry Ron, but 20 years of evidence proves to me that Lurie IS stupid. Just look at Howie Roseman. He wouldn't have any say in player personnel in any other NFL front office in the league.

    • RonElFran profile image

      Ronald E Franklin 2 years ago from Mechanicsburg, PA

      It's an interesting thought that Pederson was hired because Lurie considers him, essentially, Andy, Jr. And he may be right. I don't consider Lurie stupid, so I don't think he jumped at Pederson without careful thought, especially after getting burned in the Chip experiment. We'll see.