PGA Golf PED Tour Superstars Before Doping and After Steve "steroids" Williams, feat. Adam Scott and Tiger Woods
PGA, PEDs, and PROFIT
This is a hypothesis based on
- My personal observations as a long-time watcher of golf
- My expectations of human behavior when tempted by big-time money and fame
- Some research of the PGA doping policies, procedures, and news
The first got me suspicious, the second gets more cynical with experience, the third shocked even my own cynical self.
How it Began to Appear
I looooove to watch golf. As a kid my Father and Grandfather watched it with me. I thought it to be bland and annoyingly slow until I started to root for familiar faces. When Jack won his 18th major, it was amazing. I got into playing, and watched everything I could since 1997, coincidentally when Tiger started to make waves.
I remember how skinny he looked as he won the Masters that year with his Caddie "Fluff." You can't forget the pairing of the aged, aptly-named caddie with the youngest Tour Star. The slim TW put together a string of gut-wrenchingly narrow wins. An industry was made. Just when luck would run out, he got a new Agent, new Caddie, and made lots of other changes.
This industry started with talent and luck, but seemed to grow by shrewd planning. The PGA Tour relinquished most criticism of Tiger. Teaming up with new Agent Mark Steinberg, bigger money could be made. Fluff was out and Steve Williams got on board. Secrecy, favoritism, and muscle-mass increased exponentially.
Skinny Tiger Before
UVB Midband(TM) 8X More Sunlight
Years later, as I listened to the announcers marvel at Tigers game, they also remarked about his unbelievable distance and impressive physique. The PGA tour began Drug Testing in July of 2008. In 2009, Tiger's life derailed among reports about pills, remarkable medical information after the car accident, some kind of rehab, etc. Let's not forget the one-time relation to the fishy Canadian Dr. Anthony Galea suspected by US authorities of giving illegal growth hormone drugs to athletes. Woods chose him as his personal Doctor after reconstructive surgery in 2008.
April 1, 2014 - Tiger to Miss Masters Tournament
Well, here's an interesting update. Adam Scott should pay attention to this. Shy of his 40th birthday Tiger has had more surgeries than I care to count. Things are so bad that he's missing the Master's Tournament this year after a "successful" surgery. I hate to be right about this, but Tiger is going the way of ex-pro wrestlers at a very young age.
Sure, Jack aged, Jack played power golf too. But Jack never fell down and broke his crown like Tiger. Will Adam come tumbling after? We'll know for sure in about 12-15 years. I wonder if then Steve Williams will have a third one in the oven?
Update - May 29, 2014 Tiger to Miss U.S. Open.
Time will tell if he plays the (British) Open Championship, or if he'll miss the third major of this year. The final major may also be up in the air as far as I can tell right now.
Another update - July 10, 2014 Tiger linked to PED Doc.
He won't miss the British Open, but he gets a solo broadcast even though he just missed the cut in his last minor tournament a few weeks ago. I doubt he'll discuss "Blood Sport" during the Open Championship press conference, it's probably not his favorite book right now.
The newly published PED tome includes allegations of a crooked Doctor (Anthony Galea) making dozens of visits to an athlete who happens to exhibit the effects of human growth hormone (HGH), steroids, etc. Except this time it's not A-Rod. Well, it includes A-Rod, but finally implicates the most athletic man in Golf.
No stranger to books about TW, Hank Haney corroborates the frequent (yet somehow mysterious) visits by the Doctor. Visits with equipment for so-called "healing" plasma infusions. Hank claims not to be aware of anything illegal happening. Sure you do Hank, that ship already sailed when you wrote your own "tell all".
Hank, you already claimed not to understand why Tiger ran around Orlando wearing combat boots! I bet you haven't figured out Tiger's cover story about spearfishing, that being underwater meant nobody could go with him or even call him (who knows who'd answer the phone). Hank, he didn't get strong and injured trying to become a Navy Seal. Hank, your'e a smart guy, do you not not understand why A-Rod and TW were paying huge amounts of money for this "HGH guru" Doctor to perform legal services in person that any clinic or Doc should be able to do? Hank, would you hire a guy whose assistant got detained smuggling PEDs in from Canada to be your Doctor? What if you were a secretive and successful Athlete? Why choose a notorious guy who jets around smuggling PEDs into Olympic games into your own kitchen, Hank? Why did you see this particular guy in Florida at TW's making house-calls, Hank? I guess it will remain secret for now. We'll have to trust your word, Tiger's word, and in the PGA Tour's fool-proof doping program.
Skinny Adam Scott Before Transformation
Adam Scott Guided by Caddy Steve Williams
Then I see Adam Scott in the 2012 British Open looking like a Tiger body double. I remembered him before Steve Williams a few years ago, he was one of those skinny kid golfers with some talent. Not a powerhouse before, but look at him now. Hmmmmmm...
The New Adam Scott after Steve William's fairy dust
The Steve Williams Connection
The PEDs seem to come from Steve Williams. Either that or he has one hell of a super training program that Adam Scott never heard of before Stevie enlightened him.
For Steve Williams, it was a gravy when Adam Scott famously defeated Stevie's former boss TW in his breakthrough victory against the struggling but re-surging legend.
In an apparent 'roid rage of his own, Steve distinguished himself as the first and so far only Caddy to grab the spotlight and the microphone for "his" win (with Adam Scott over TW) having this to say:
"That's the best week of my life. I have been caddying for 33 years, 145 wins, and that's the best win I've ever had," said Stevie, who went on about his "most satisfying win" before adding this gem:
"I sort-of believe in destiny sometimes"
Destiny, Steve? Sometimes, sort-of, destiny? I'm not buying it.
PGA PED Doping Policy (clarification: policy officially against doping)
It didn't take much research to see that the PGA's anti-doping policy (even more verbose and technical than any of my articles) is a ruse (I openly use Satire, doping policies shouldn't do it in secret).
The fine print allows them to keep every little detail and even all basic facts secret at all times. They choose when or even if any violations are disclosed. They administer the program via their own legal team, who may have authored the policy as well, judging by the staggering number of ridiculous loopholes. The PGA and certain players presumably can use any number so wrong person isn't caught in violation.
Update: in 2013 the ludicrous policy was revised;
My article called them out, then Vijay Singh did it privately in court. We'll not hear exactly how because of the gag order, but we're getting somewhere at least.
Vijay Singh admitted to using deer-antler spray in a magazine precipitating the attempt to make him the second scapegoat. Unlike the original scapegoat (pictured below), Vijay won a slew of tournaments including the Masters. Well boys, he's got the Benjamins to pay a team of lawyers to publicly shred the worthless sham of a doping-policy. The PGA retreated.
Less income and different outcome for the only person to be caught and sanctioned by the dopey dog-and-pony show PED Policy:
Doug Barron, Official PGA Sacrificial Lamb and Patron Saint of Victims of Hypocritical Policy
Even Bodybuilding has Surprise Testing.
Golf's Contenders for the Barry Bonds * Asterisk
Tiger's first Caddie, Fluff! No explanation given for Firing Fluff.
John Daly? Wimp. Mickelson? Gambler. VJ? Lazy.
For two years he often won by impeccably-timed lucky breaks. Unusual, rare, lucky breaks favored Tiger until tapering down in late '98. Tiger had to bolster the intimidation factor somehow. Opponents couldn't be allowed to gain the courage to stand up to him, now that he became a giant. For the most part, they didn't until a decade later. One by one the "contenders" delivered improbable and uncharacteristic collapses serendipitously just when it mattered most. TW must have guessed well in 1999 that the intimidation he started in 1997 at Augusta was the ultimate winning formula. Sky-high confidence, that feeling of indestructibility you get from PEDs, would help you take shots nobody else but Phil Mickelson or John Daly would try, but he pulled them off. He approached clutch putts with superhuman focus, unnatural (insane) confidence, and he made them. If he slipped up, if he relied on luck, if he became human, the illusion would break. He was the hulk of the Tour. Using strangely mediocre equipment, he continually overpowered the field so guys like Y.E. Yang would never defeat him using super-sized drivers or hybrid clubs.
From 1999-2009, Tiger found a way to keep the illusion from breaking.
- Firing Fluff with no explanation was the tip of an iceberg of secrecy.
- Becomes tight-lipped to the media, to the point of being downright rude.
- Lets Stevie run amok accosting fans, aggressively and increasingly shrouding Tiger.
- Powers-up his already-long drive despite using comparatively lame clubs (short, stiff).
- Invents new types of shots, powerful to the point of being "unbelievable".
- Displays even more power, veteran Announcers describe as "humanly impossible!"
- Looks like an NFL fullback, not like other golfers
- Golf press acted like non-Tiger PGA players never ever heard about "weightlifting" and had to ask around after seeing tiger, thinking "there might be some advantage in there somewhere in this weight-lifting phenomenon
- Goes the distance with the endurance of the "Tour de France" bikers (amazing!)
- PGA/USGA roll out the hilarious Anti-doping policy and totally nail Doug Barron for PEDs
- Years go by an nobody, I mean nobody suffers implication of PEDs besides Doug Barron.
- TW continues beating his body like a juiced-up boxer. Never quits or loses focus.
- Avoids penalties/fines, even cursing on live TV in front of kids with abandon.
- Claims to work harder than any other golfer (yet had a secret life chasing pleasures - maybe not as much time in the gym after all).
- Claims his fondness of spearfishing, do you spear fish for relaxation? You aren't an elite athlete, no wonder you don't bulk up as easily.
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© 2012 Doug Ocean