ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

10 Advantages of being a Poker Widow

Updated on June 9, 2010
David Singer & His Wife  (c) World Series of Poker
David Singer & His Wife (c) World Series of Poker

So the man in your life has taken up the dreaded game of poker. To many women this spells widowhood – lonesome evenings and weekends without your guy, while he bluffs, check-raises and goes all-in on the felt or online. To make it even worse, you are subjected to a detailed hand-by-hand dissection of his game when he returns. Any free time is spent honing his skills, reading poker magazines and watching poker on TV.  

Many a woman has lost her man to this seemingly innocuous card game, but it doesn’t have to be the death knell of your relationship. When life gives you lemons, bring on the tequila! Here are ten advantages of being a poker widow:

1. Poker guilt – Play on it. Make him feel guilty about all the time he spends at the felt instead of with you and insist on punitive damages after each game. Dinner at the restaurant of your choice should suffice, but ban any talk that even hints at how he played in his last game.

2. Girl’s day out – Suddenly you are presented with hours of leisure time. Shopping, lunch, tea, movies, sushi, sun tanning, reading, snoozing or anything else that tickles your fancy. If he insists on serenading you with how his game went, give him a shop-by-shop account of your day.

3. Take up the game – Anyone can play poker and women have proved to be as good as men, and often better. Included is quality time with your mate, and even better is infuriating him when you chase down that nut flush draw and crack his pocket rockets!

4. A lifetime of simple gift ideas – Books, chipsets, dogs playing poker pictures, card protectors, DVDs, cards, even ashtrays and a plethora of poker paraphernalia will make gift buying a cinch.

5. Pampering – Many poker tournaments take place at luxury resorts with adjoining health spas. No doubt a service offered out of sympathy for the battalions of poker widows. Seize the opportunity. Bone up on the poker tournaments at resorts that offer these services and entice your man into playing there. Your regular facial and beauty treatments can now take place at five-star hotels.

6. Capital gains – If your man is good enough and practices long and hard enough, he can make a decent amount of cash from poker. For example, every player on the 2009 World Series of Poker final table pocketed a minimum of $1 million, with the final prize being over $8 million.

7. Right back at ya – Next time he scoffs incredulously at the price tag of your new Jimmy Choo shoes, you can casually mention that he has “invested” (read: lost) an equally large amount in his latest losing streak.  

8. It's glamourous – You could soon be hobnobbing with the superstars and celebs. Additionally, casinos are well known for spoiling players with comps of upgrades to luxury penthouses, free meals, limo rides and more.

9. Stunning holidays– Encourage your guy to play better poker and soon he may be jetting off to exotic foreign poker tournaments. Global poker tournaments are hosted in Marrakech, Macau, Monte Carlo, Venice, Cyprus and more. Plant the seed that he should definitely be playing in one of these tournaments as he's that good, and chances are he’ll be whipping out the VISA before you can say Schengen Visa.  

10. It could be worse – Imagine he suddenly took a shine to drag racing! Weekends spent at the raceway, surrounded by exhaust fumes and grease monkeys, are utter hell in comparison to being a poker widow.

 

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      Cara Bertoia 

      7 years ago

      Hi, My name is Cara Bertoia and I see that you have my book Cruise Quarters - A Novel About Casinos and Cruise Ships advertised on your page. Thanks,

      You might also want to check out our blog tablegamesconfessions.blogspot.com We have many articles on gambling, and one on the Top Ten Reasons To Work In A Casino.

      Cara B

    • profile image

      BustedOutMan 

      7 years ago

      Great points, except most of these points assume that your man is a WINNER and that he has MONEY coming IN instead of flowing OUT constantly. I'm the majority breadwinner in the house and my man is at the poker table the MINUTE I get paid and comes home busted just about every time. Can't play on the guilt, he throws it right back in my face, telling me all about how this is an "investment" towards his $9million win at the WSOP Main Event!

      I think mine is a more common story than having a man who actually makes money doing this.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)