Pro's and Con's of The Lowly Pup Tent
The Lowly Pup Tent is
well-known, very popular in the United Kingdom, Australia, and United States as a half-shelter. They are also known in English as a pup-tent, the German synonym, dating way before World War II. The pup-tent is a simple kind of tent designed to provide temporary shelter and privacy.
I should apologize for the pup tent. Okay. "Mr. Pup Tent, I sincerely apologize for not being more glamorous and sturdy." There is really not that much to be said about the pup tent. I am not debasing this lower tier piece of military equipment that saw many soldiers through many dark and lonely nights, but as far as me trying to make my keyboard sizzle with harangues of text about the pup tent, it ain't happening.
My Wife Taught
me a few years back that for me to stay in good with the universe, that when I speak up about a certain irritant, I should back up and say something equally as positive toward that area of aggravation. But in this case, there is not that many things on the "Pro Pup-Tent" category. But by scraping and digging several websites, brochures, and unknown antique military blurbs, I found these good things about owing a pup tent.
So without any time taken, here is my
Pro Pup-Tent Category:
Pup Tents have a dashing color: Green. Able to make people instantly think of our military or our green forestland.
Pup Tents are not dashing enough to be arrogant as those massive 10-person tent sold by Sears.
Pup Tents are equally comfortable for humans and pets.
Pup Tents are never used as conversation topics when a cocktail goes south and guests start bashing pup tents.
I would even add that pup tents are way too good to be the butt of vulgar jokes and jocularity. I would go even further than this original statement. I believe that there needs to be a pup-tent museum built somewhere near the Smithsonian in Washington, D.C., where former veterans who swore by pup-tents because of their sturdiness and durability in rainstorms and other acts of nature.
Who is This Girl and Why is She Here?
Now There Remains
this section about the pup-tent that makes me so sad that my heart is in real tiny fragments. I just cannot get past the pup-tent. Can you relate?
But the truth remains, I have to publish with all fairness, the
Con Pup-Tent Category:
In the Academy Award-winning film, "Patton," starring George C. Scott, there was never one scene that had a soldier sleeping in his pup-tent, writing to his girlfriend or wife, or just gazing into the darkness so afraid that the Nazi's would attack him and his squad near dawn.
I can also say (the above) with television series such as "Mannix," "Starsky and Hutch," and even this vintage military series, "Combat," starring Vic Morrow.
Our debased friend, the pup-tent was never featured in hit musical films such as "Cabaret," "Picnic," and "The Music Man." Not even one line from the scripts. I thought that the writers of these films were once veterans and a mention to pup-tent's in the script might make other military vets feel good about themselves.
While the subject of "Films Not Seen in Pup-Tents" is here, Gal Gadot, the gorgeous girl who portrayed Wonder Woman in her debut movie, never slept in a pup-tent nor was there no pup-tent mentioned or even scene in this entire hit fillm.
If a soldier in the United States Army had to on an all-night reconnisiance mission and this soldier stood a good seven foot, three inches tall, either his knees to his feet or chest to his head stuck out in the open.
Curling in a ball inside a pup-tent was not the practical or manly thing for an Army soldier to do. I cannot prove that by this soldier curling in a ball wouldn't have kept him dry or maybe warm if he were serving near Siberia, I will just have to leave this alone.
In real life situations, when a crazed criminal (with a firearm) got trapped robbing a bank in broad open daylight, his demands were never: "I need a pup-tent, a helicopter fueled up and ready at the airport, and $57,000.00 in cash with small denominations and all in twenties."
In other real-life situations, I can tell you that in all of my travels across the United States on our family's yearly vacation week, I have never and I do mean never, witnessed a man or woman camping on the side of the interstate sleeping in a pup-tent. Never.
I cannot tell you of any young man and woman who were hopelessly in love eloped to be married and they were so poor that the only "home" they had to their name was a pup-tent.
I really do not want to be hard-hearted, but in real life, I have never seen any homeless person sitting near the sidewalk asking for money. Never.
I cannot even recall Tony "Wally Cleaver" Dow and Jerry "Cleaver" Beaver" Matthers ever telling "Ward Clever," Hugh Beaumont, their dad, that they were going with the guys for a weekend camping trip and taking a pup-tent for shelter. Did you see that? "a" pup-tent. Now were "Wally" and "Beaver" both going to sleep in one pup-tent?
Remember John Lennon; Ringo Starr; Paul McCartney and George Harrison, otherwise known as The Beatles? You will not believe this. Neither Lennon or McCartney wrote any lyric concerning pup-tents. Nor did Starr or Harrison in their solo careers sing about pup-tents.
You want something really sad? The late Bob Keshan, Captain Kangaroo, on the very popular CBS children's show, never used a pup-tent to use for a teaching aid. I can also say this about Fred "Mr. (Rogers) Neighborhood."
The first skyjacker, D.B. Cooper, when he jumped from the airliner that he skyjacked, never had a pup-tent in his personal belongings. No. I cannot prove that this is true or false, but if you were a skyjacker with almost a million bucks, would you be thinking about a pup-tent?
This last item is probably the saddest fact about pup-tents:
I guess that you guys who were once single, were heavy daters, right? You dated weekends and sometimes on weeknights, but let me say this to you: Did you ever try to get really close with a hot, pretty majorette on a summer Saturday night by using a pup-tent? No. That was ludicrous. Why? Well, the pup-tent is too short to really cover one person and this case, two people. Using a pup-tent by a very eligible young man would instantly cause him to be severely laughed at by the pretty young lady and you know how young girls are.
By the time Monday rolled around, this eligible young man was now a laughing stock and made the object of ridicule because he made the crucial mistake of bringing a pup-tent to use on a hot date.
I think that I have made a well-balanced look at pup-tents.
© 2017 Kenneth Avery