Signs That You Have a Knife Addiction
Yes I admit it, I’m a knife addict. It all started when I’m doing martial arts back in high school. To complement my Shotokan Karate, I pack a box cutter in my pocket and a steel pen in the bag. Back then self-defense was my priority and collecting knives never entered my mind. Then the box cutter helped me ward off a bullying attempt and I decided to up the ante. During college I improvised sheaths from papers, cardboard and electrical tape so I could carry a small table knife. I became employed in the following years and I got my first cheap pocket knife for Christmas. It was a terrible blade. It bulges in my pocket and the blade was dull. Years later I replaced the thing with a counterfeit clone. The poor performance of the knock-off blade made me get a real branded pocket knife.
And when I did, it’s like a switch being turned on.
The strength of the blade of the Leatherman knife made me want to get more. I’m not sure why, but there is something on the way the knife fits neatly in my hand that made me itch for more. It might be a guy thing to be attached to tools and bladed implements, but nevertheless I got another budget blade not long after. Then I went for an Opinel, before getting the resilient Mora. In the future I see my house with a room dedicated to all of my shiny blade collections. As I start my knife craze and pack the blades, I might be showing the symptoms listed below. Yup, below are signs that you are addicted to anything sharp and bladed. And chances are those reading this have one also.
1. You thought you cannot have too much knives
That’s the first obvious sign. Guys I know often say that having a shelf-full of blades is not enough. I do understand their pain though. How can I show myself in public with only five knives to boast? Anyway it’s all part of a collector’s psyche. Whether you collect toys, stamps or coins, the satisfaction of adding a new blade to your collection is beyond comprehension!
2. You thought of buying knives even with a limited budget
Yes I know and I’m guilty on that. The first question that comes to my mind when my half month salary comes is can I get a new knife? I may spend minutes calculating and recalculating just to see if I have enough funds for another folder. If not get a cheaper one, or wait for another pay-check to come. Possibly then I will save an extra amount for that new shiny Balisong in the window. Yet sometimes the urge is just too much and I find myself going home with a brand new knife and a part of my savings missing.
3. You know a lot of online blade sellers
Yup, your online browsing history will contain a long list of blade markets. As a collector myself they are godsend! There are times when I found myself browsing endlessly at Blade HQ or in the Coldsteel website for the latest release. At work I have to volunteer for a harsher task so I won’t get hook on these websites. They are basically a pornhubs for knife collectors, and yes blade browsing is addictive!
4. Outdoors, hardware stores and knife shops are your most frequently visited mall stores
Guys love to shop too! There is a good chance that the nearest hardware shop has a new folder, so what are we waiting for. And hey, we got a newly opened outdoor shop in the mall, let’s go there this weekend! This is the usual thing I heard from my fellow knife people, and from myself too.
5. You are well informed when there is a sale
You know what my planner looks like? It had a list of daily tasks, updates, assignments and knife sales. I always keep my smartphone ready for updates about the latest online sales. And when words come out, time to break the bank.
6. You will came out poorer from an outdoor/knife store
A friend told me; good luck not buying anything in an outdoor shop. He’s right. An Opinel no. 6 caused me to lose some dollars. Admit it knife people, when it comes to blades resistance is futile!
7. You know things about knives that ordinary people don’t
You know what is a liner lock, frame lock, slip joint, thumb stud, choils, jimpings, assisted openers, flippers, blade points, grinds, tangs, metal compositions, the blade belly, bolster and anything that will make a normal guy’s head spin.
8. You don’t give a darn if it is fixed blade or folding blade
As long as it has a blade, period!
9. You don’t give a darn if it is assisted opening or not
Again as long as it has a blade, nothing less!
10. You don’t give a darn if it is locking or non-locking
Between Opinels, Victorinox and Kershaws, who cares! Again as long as it has a blade!
11. Nothing is too cheap or too expensive
An Opinel don’t cost too much. A Leatherman Crater is in midway. As of now I’m saving for a posh knife, like a Microtech. Again as long as it has a blade and not a counterfeit it is okay with me.
12. Nothing is too long or too short
A neck knife is never long while a machete is never short. Nevertheless I want both this Christmas. It’s all about aesthetics and functionality as you can’t conceal a machete and you can’t cut hedges with a neck knife. Again I’ll say this; as long as it has a blade it is okay with me!
13. You use all the excuse to use your knife
When an office-mate says he needs a knife, I'm the first to answer. And even though there is a scissor nearby, I will reach for my Opinel when cutting papers and opening bags. And why borrow a kitchen knife in the office mess hall when I have my folder. I always itch to use my blade when the opportunity comes.
14. You carry several knives
Who among you guys carry three folders in your pocket. And when another knife doesn’t fit, we have an organizer then. And chances are you have a neck knife behind your shirt or a boot knife in your shoe.
15. You never let people touch knife
It’s a collector’s thing to be over protective of your stuffs, and sometimes it had a practical use. Not too many people know how to handle a knife properly, and who among you have chipped blades thanks to their mishandlings? Save the edge for yourselves, and let the others get their own blades.
16. Your playtime includes fidgeting with your blades
I know that it is not wise to play with sharp objects, but I can’t resist the urge to take my knife out just to have a look. And I know that most of you bought a Balisong just to flip it around.
17. You spend more time cleaning your blade
Not only that you spent hours polishing your new knife, you also knew a lot of hacks on blade cleaning. And look, there is a spot you missed, time to for another buff!
18. You bought an organizer or storage boxes just for your knives
You are a knife guy. You know nothing about bags and storage boxes, until you feel the need to store your blades. In fact I now frequent bags and organizers area in the mall just to check what could carry my EDC.
19. You keep the knife you intend to give as a gift
You got a new folder for it’s your buddy’s birthday! But no way, this is too good for him. What if he lost or breaks this? Better to keep this to myself. Sounds familiar guys?
20. You sleep with your knives
For practical purpose, some guys with self-defense background keep a knife under their pillow. Just in case a lowlife breaks into their houses at least they have something to defend themselves. This is nothing new as Samurais will have their swords in a ready near their beds. Yet I know a lot of people with a knife close to them for no apparent reason.
21. You relate anything to knives
When things happen, you will say that life is like a blade or something like that. When you see something, you will say hey that reminds me of my pocket knife.
22. You uses knives as profile pictures
You got a dagger for a Facebook avatar, why?
23. You post knife picture on social media
You got a new EDC folder, and later on you will snap a picture of it and post it in Facebook. I know because I do it too.
24. Your wallpaper picture includes knives
You need to express yourself, and that explains the picture on the laptop.
25. You are a member of a knife group or online knife forums
That’s because we need to find others like us. Just saying.
26. You will use any excuse to carry knives
We will go on an outdoor trip today, I need my Kabar. And where is my folder, I need it in the office. And since we will have barbecue today, I’ll pull-out my Mora. Again sounds familiar?