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The WWE Comedy Poem of 2019

Updated on January 12, 2019
BadNewsSmitty profile image

Former Los Angeles Lakers beat writer, future screenwriter, and currently enjoying writing about the amazing superstars of the WWE!

The life of WWE in 2019 will be nothing but wild and crazy,

throughout the year not one single superstar should ever be labeled as lazy.

They all will fight to be the very best until they take our breath away,

but they’ll have to make sure they remember that every day is Rusev AND Lana Day.


In just a few weeks we’ll see a lot of men and women take a tumble,

when they get thrown over the top rope during the exciting Royal Rumble.

Who will win their respective matches? Who will come out on top?

I certainly know if The Man wins that night, there will be a VERY huge pop.


With WrestleMania coming around the road needs to start off right,

I know guys like Finn Balor and Randy Orton will be looking for a fight.

A lot of these underdog superstars have gotta’ step up and take a stand,

if they don’t, they could even lose to Mae Young’s son...who’s literally just a hand.


Many stars will step up their game to the point where they can’t seem to lose,

I have a feeling that ONE of those superstars will be a man named Apollo Crews.

We could see a whole lot of memories that it may catch us all by surprise,

maybe even Curt Hawkins will win a match----well, now I’m just telling lies.


This will be an amazing year, I’m not trying to sound bias,

when it comes to up-and-coming superstars, you know that I Walk With Elias.

We’ll hear a lot from Lio Rush. I’ll like it though. I’m not trying to pretend,

it still won’t be a great sight when Bobby bends over and shows off his rear-end.


There will be plenty of stories being told that will make us all scream,

we'll certainly go ballistic when the WWE calls up the Velveteen Dream.

Hopefully this year there won't be a story-line involving Katie Vick,

I'm sure Big Show will make someone pee their pants like he did Drake Maverick.

When it comes to the women of WWE, they will be incredibly far from lousy,

but the one thing they all shouldn't do is tick off Ronda Rousey.

There will be a Boss, a Goddess, and a Flair who's a Queen,

there's no doubt the females of WWE will be WINNING---just like Charlie Sheen.


When it comes to in-ring abilities there's not many better than Mickie,

she's as perfect inside the squared circle as the Steamboat named Ricky.

Then there's Natalya who is the best technical wrestler one might say,

but nobody will be as IIconic this year as Peyton Royce and Billie Kay.


It's clear that Mandy, Sonya, and the Riott Squad this year will all put on a show,

just as long as nobody messes with Naomi because they'll feel that darn glow.

If you don't think these women of WWE are awesome, you better check your facts,

or you'll be the 1st person in 2019 to get knocked out by the Face-breaker, Nia Jax.


When WrestleMania night comes along, will the women take the main event?

If they do I can assure you, attending will be worth every cent.

Will the Empress of Tomorrow be there to destroy everyone and everything?

I'm sure that'll be fine, just as long as Jillian Hall doesn't come back to sing.

There's some amazing women coming up, I think we all can very much agree,

but I'm positive NOBODY wants to get in the way of the dominant Rhea Ripley.

The future for the ladies of wrestling looks just as bright as the blue sky,

they all better pray they don't get kicked in the face by the fearless Dakota Kai.


Seth Rollins attempts to be the very best when he travels from town to town,

each night the WWE Universe cannot wait to watch the guy "Burn it down!"

Although if he wants to stay at the top of the mountain, he better stay on fire,

there's a Scottish Psychopath coming up behind him by the name of Drew McIntyre.


If one thinks they'll be the breakout star this year, they should make other plans,

when Braun Strowman hears about it, they'll most likely get those hands.

A big match at WrestleMania is never quite the same without John Cena,

I just hope we don't crown Miss WrestleMania again to that "woman" named Santina.

It'll be hard to be a better person than the caring guy named Titus O'Neil,

I vouch for him that at The Greatest Royal Rumble, I saw him slip on a banana peel.

In order to stay the best tag team, The Bar will do whatever it takes,

just as long as they don't start eating the New Day's Booty-o's & delicious pancakes.


If the WWE superstars don't step up then we'll be in quite the pickle,

we'd have to listen to Daniel Bryan tell us that we're all nothing but fickle.

Mustafa Ali can save us, he knows how to make the fans go "Whoa",

I just hope he doesn't run into the Samoan Submission Machine named Samoa Joe.


There will be parts of a show that we'll laugh beyond our control,

especially with the help from the funny banter between Renee, Graves, and Cole.

Guys like The Miz and Baron Corbin will definitely continue to gloat,

they should feel lucky Mick Foley isn't there to shove a dirty sock down their throat.

If you haven't watched 205Live each week you might want to take a gander,

you'll see incredible talents such as Gulak, Buddy, and Cedric Alexander.

Their moves are so out of this world that they'll make your mind boggle,

Who knows? We could see the ultimate Cruiserweight by the name of Hornswoggle.


I'm looking forward to different match-ups that can give us all smiles,

one that comes to mind is Ricochet facing off against a phenomenal AJ Styles.

The superstars will provide non-stop entertainment that will keep us all awake,

especially when R-Truth & Carmella come to the ring and scream "DANCE BREAK!"

The year 2019 is going to be epic, at least that's how it's lookin',

maybe we'll even hear the famous line "If ya smell what The Rock is cookin'."

I think you got the gist of this, I think you got the flow,

and that's the bottom line because Stone Cold said so!


It seems like all the superstars are getting ready to be lean and mean,

I hope all the fans out there enjoy the greatness of WWE in 2019!

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    • adecourv profile image

      Alex deCourville 

      7 months ago

      Ha ha good one

    working

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