ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The Sporting Me

Updated on January 24, 2013

The golfing life

... and the rest is not history

Sports was never my cup of tea. Ever since I could remember, (in my case, at three years of age, or was it two?) anytime my older siblings, friends or classmates would start some kind of game that involved any kind of coordinated physical exertion,I would slink away into the farthest corner, and no amount of familial teasing, friendly urging, or classless threatening would dislodge me from where I was ensconsed. To the extent that I was involved in a group or even solitary effort to flex my muscles, tease my tendons and stimulate my sweat glands, the most that I would be involved in was a game of marbles or rubberbands, or hide and seek.

In High School, I tried volleyball, but after the third week of competition, I had to give it up when an opponent spiked the ball so hard and my face just wasn't fast enough to evade the twirling ball. I ended up in the emergency room, facially bruised, cerebrally contussed, and forever cursing my unlucky stars. College came soon enough. I took up swimming which I thought I would have an easy go of it, having learned (while bathing in the local river) how to float and splash my arms and advance a few feet with what I thought was a pretty good freestyle. The very first day of swim class, the instructor asked if any of us know how to swim in any kind of fashion, so I volunteered and tried to impress him with my freestyle. I wasn't even midway into my demonstration of my swimming prowess, when I heard everyone laughing their hearts out, and the instructor said: ".. now class. that is not the way to swim."

Medical school and all that entails took out sports in the equation of my day to day world of Gray's Anatomy,and Guyton's Physiology and Chanco's Microbiology. Spectator sports as the name implies, meant hours on end watching other people sweat it out while I kept cool on the bleachers, or worse, in front of the tube munching M&Ms and imbibing gallons of soda pop.

They say that everything improves and becomes clearer after marriage. Well in my case it did not, at least when it came to my involvement in any kind of sporting activity. The clarity of the perception that after all my sports disasters, I would never be enticed again into taking up any of the stuff did not improve any when my wife, in an attempt to put some spice and spike into my sedentary lifestyle (as if taking care of patients was not taxing enough) convinced me to play tennis. During my first day of practice, while bouncing off the ball against a wall I jumped high to hit it then landed wrong on my right ankle, twisting it into several directions all at once. The noncholant orthopod casted it, then sent me off with the advice that perhaps golf would be a better match play for me than tennis.

Ahhhh golf. Watching Arnie and the Golden Bear whack a small ball in an attempt to finally roll it into a small hole in the middle of an undulating green, is not my idea of a riveting sport. As a spectator sports, golf is somnolence inducing, to say the least. It took me a while to actually realize that golf, could be a high-wire act all its own. Now that I am playing geometry (almost always inelegantly) on a playing field with sneaky sand traps, muddy water holes, patchy grass, and undulating trees, life has never been more exciting, or more fulfilling, or liberating. Just ask the thousands upon thousands of my fellow week end whackers.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • A.Villarasa profile image

      Alexander A. Villarasa 7 years ago from Palm Springs

      Hello smakram:

      Welcome to my hub. About tennis? tried it once when I was younger... didn't work out. Now that I am a 62 year old doddering fool, tennis is just too hectic for my angioplastyzed heart. But thanks for the thought.

      Please feel free to come back anytime.

    • profile image

      smakram 7 years ago

      What about tennis?

    • A.Villarasa profile image

      Alexander A. Villarasa 7 years ago from Palm Springs

      Hello Webnating: Thanks for the kind words. I love basketball, but only to watch it on television or if I have enough money ($300.00, for a reasonably well placed seat in Staples Center)watch it in person. I can not possibly be a basketball player for reasons of height.

    • webnatin profile image

      webnatin 7 years ago

      Nice post about your tryouts, it made me happy knowing I am not the only one having such experiences. LOL

      Golf is a wonderfull sports but I prefer basketball.


    • A.Villarasa profile image

      Alexander A. Villarasa 7 years ago from Palm Springs

      Hi Brent:

      Nice to hear from you again. It's good to know that I put a smile on your face... however shortlived. Hey, it's still quite warm here in Palm Springs and the nearest golf course just opened for the season (i.e. after re-seeding which typically occurs on a yearly basis.) So if you are up for a round or two... you know who to call.

    • brentbrown98 profile image

      brentbrown98 7 years ago from Indiana, United States, Earth

      I always smile when I read your hubs. I've never been good at sports either. It would be nice to call myself a "duffer" someday, but it's too darn cold to hit the links around here right now. Maybe next year. :)