Things That I Would Never Do To Dick Butkus
Getting to know Dick Butkus
Riddle: What has eight legs, razor-sharp teeth and jaws that can snap a diesel rig in half. Growls and New York City stops and freezes in fear. Eats what it wants, goes where it wants and no man, machine, or nuclear missile can contend with it?
Answer: I don’t know, but it’s running from former middle linebacker, No. 51, of the Chicago Bears, Dick Butkus.
If anyone asks, “Describe Dick Butkus,” the above pretty much sums it up. Butkus “was” in every way (while on the football field) mean as satan—despising every opponent as if they were his sworn-enemy. Pittsburg Steeler, “Mean” Joe Green, it was said, patterned his playing style after Butkus. Nothing mortal stood in his way. Nor Butkus’ way.
Enjoy some true NFL magic
Dick Butkus: Always consistent, dedicated
Every Sunday. Every game. Butkus created more than his share of havoc with the Chicago Bears’ opponents. From not just “sacking” the quarterback, but almost breaking him into small pieces, to disrupting whatever play they had chosen to run against Butkus and the Bears. It was awful how Butkus treated the other guys. And if one of his own teammates got in his way, he treated them awful too. Butkus was why the word “dedication” was written.
Even pain feared Dick Butkus, who many amazed Bear fans and coaching staff stood in awe of him playing with a broken foot in one meeting with a so-called ferocious NFL power back then. Butkus was not one to whimper about “mild” injuries and he also scolded those of his team who requested to be taken-out of the action if they met with a cut from someone’s helmet causing blood to spill. “Silly fool,” Butkus was known to growl at the “suffering” teammate. Butkus was that bent on not just winning each game, but hurting as many of the opposing team as possible. And if the numbers were tallied, they were many.
I wish I had the time to tell all about Dick Butkus
I cannot begin to tell “The Dick Butkus” story as well as the text box to the right, but I would like to think that I tried. My best friend in grade school (starting in the fifth-grade) through 1972, our senior year in high school, Dwight “Oz” Ausborn, introduced me to his admiration of Butkus and “Oz” admired him with a fiery respect. After I watched Butkus tear-down, in the literal sense, the Philadelphia Eagles, I too was sold. Butkus “was” the consummate middle linebacker. The best. After Butkus retired from football, he went on to star in beer and anti-freeze commercials as well as land meaty roles in movies and television shows. Butkus never took retirement as a time to “just” sit around in his recliner and take naps.
Butkus didn’t ask for respect. It was automatically given to him just by how he walked into the room or down the street. Oh, I’m sure that there were punks and men who thought after a few weight-lifting sessions that they equaled Butkus in the physical-power area. All failed. And this “dangerous” side of Butkus opened my eyes to the fact that there were
Things That I Would Never Do to Dick Butkus
And these are but a few . . .
CALL BUTKUS A PANTY-WAIST -- God was loving enough to give me life. I do not want to be so foolish as to let Butkus take it.
TELL HIM -- "I bet if you stand still, old man, I could knock you down." I hate the taste of cement or dirt in my mouth.
TAKE A MAGIC MARKER -- and while he is dining with family and friends, draw a clown face on him.
DARE DICK BUTKUS -- to an arm-wrestling contest, but allow me to use BOTH arms. I hate the taste of sawdust in my mouth.
BARGE INTO A CONVERSATION -- he is having with buddies and say, "You, Dick Butkus, are nothing but an over-sized windbag." I do not yearn for six-months in the hospital hooked-up with traction.
WALK UP TO DICK BUTKUS -- and say, "Care to see my Bruce Lee impression and you can be my "test dummy." My face doesn't look good with knots, cuts, and bones protruding.
STALK HIM IN THE CITY -- and when he walks across in front of my car, ease-up and hit him with my front bumper. Can you afford a new car in today's economy? Neither can I.
PAY A TOUGH STREET-GANG -- maybe ten muscular guys, to catch him alone and beat him up. I now hate the idea of Butkus taking ten lives, even out of self-defense.
THROW COLD WATER -- on him when its winter in Chicago in late January. That would only give Butkus a good laugh.
LASSO BUTKUS -- like a wild bronco and yell, "Yeee-haw! I have caught myself a wild Butkus!" I don't like being thrown around anyone's head at 60 M.P.H.
PAY "TRIPLE H," -- and a gang of professional wrestlers to "soften him up," so I can take him an old-fashioned street fight. Then get beaten-up by the same wrestlers for being knocked cold by Butkus before I stepped in.
BORROW AN AREA -- farmer's tractor. Then sneak into his home and attach a tight chain to Butkus' leg and drag him around the city. Naaah, I cannot afford a new tractor for this humble old farmer.
THROW BUCKETS -- of black mud on Butkus as he walks to a place to record a television ad. That is not going to work for I need my arms and legs to live a normal life.
HIRE (WITH MY LAST MONEY) A KUNG FU -- expert and challenge Butkus to an Oriental Kung-Fu Battle. Now that I think of it, I woul be speaking Oriental when Butkus was through with me.
BITE BUTKUS -- like a trained Doberman. I wonder if he loves animals.
JUMP ON HIS BACK -- put my hands over his eyes and make him turn round and around. This would work if it were not for him running backward and crashing me against a brick wall.
GET PLASTIC SURGERY -- and get myself made into THE roughest, meanest-looking roughneck in the world and stare him down. This will not work for he would walk over me, but he would say, "Excuse me."
and now THE plan that would work:
BUY MYSELF -- a bear costume and stand in the middle of the sidewalk with my has on my hips. Butkus will be reminded of how much he loved The Chicago Bears and break-down and cry, then giving the right-of-way to me. Then I deck him with a thick phone book I have got from the motel in Chicago where I am staying. Note: I need to hit him with all I have for when he figures-out that bears cannot use a right cross, I am history.
If none of these plans work, I can guess that just leaving Butkus alone would be the wisest thing I could do--and therefore extend my life.
Do you agree?
No. 51, Middle Linebacker
Date of birth: December 9, 1942 (age 71) , Place of birth: Chicago, Illinois , Height: 6 ft 2 in (1.88 m) Weight: 245 lb (111 kg)
High school: Chicago (IL) Vocational College: Illinois, NFL Draft: 1965 / Round: 1 / Pick: 3 , AFL Draft: 1965 / Round: 2 / Pick: 9, Debuted in 1965 for the Chicago Bears , Last played in 1973 for the Chicago Bears (1965-1973), Career highlights and awards Career NFL statistics as of 1973, Tackles 1,020 , Interceptions 22 , Fumble Recoveries 27
Richard Marvin "Dick" Butkus (born December 9, 1942) is an American former football player for the Chicago Bears. He was drafted in 1965 and he is also widely regarded as one of the best and most durable linebackers of all time. Butkus started as a football player for the University of Illinois and the Chicago Bears. He became a member of the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1979. He played nine seasons in the NFL for the Chicago Bears. Billed at 6 ft 3 in (1.91 m), 245 lb (111 kg), he was one of the most feared and intimidating linebackers of his time, being named the most feared tackler of all time by NFL.com in 2009.
- Early life
Richard Marvin "Dick" Butkus was the youngest of eight children of Lithuanian immigrants Don, an electrician, and Emma, who worked in a laundry.He grew up in the Roseland neighborhood on Chicago's South Side. He played high school football for coach Bernie O'Brien at Chicago Vocational High School. Although he eventually played for the Bears, Butkus being a South-sider grew up a fan of the Chicago Cardinals, attending their games at Comiskey Park and watching Thanksgiving game between the Detroit Lions and Green Bay Packers.
- College career
Butkus played center and linebacker from 1962 through 1964 at the University of Illinois. He was twice a unanimous All-American, in 1963 and 1964. He won the Chicago Tribune Silver Football in 1963 as the Big Ten's Most Valuable Player, and was named the American Football Coaches Association Player of the Year in 1964. Butkus finished sixth in Heisman Trophy balloting in 1963 and third in 1964, a rare accomplishment for both linemen and defensive players. He finished his college career with 374 tackles.
The legend, the icon, the man, Dick Butkus
Dick Butkus is arguably one of the best linebackers ever to play, possessing strength, agility and quickness to cover running backs and tight ends on the same play. He played for the Bears from 1965 to 1973, making seven Pro Bowl teams, collecting 22 interceptions and recovering 27 fumbles. He was elected to the Hall of Fame in 1979, his first year of eligibility.