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This Is Tom Brady's Last Season... Crashing Like His Car!

Updated on March 20, 2011

New England Patriots QB Tom Brady just crashed his Audi. He's okay, but that only refers to his health: This will be Tom's last season as a "highly rated" QB. He's not likely to retire after this year, but he might as well, as he will soon be in the roster of the JaMarcus Russells and Ryan Leafs of NFL history: Total washouts.

The New England Pattywhacks will look a lot worse than Tom's Audi by the end of this season. To call it a car crash will be an overly kind comment.

It's been years since Mr. Bundchen actually played his position in any way that could even be remotely be termed as "well." He and his partner in crime Belichick have won football game through smoke, mirrors, and videocams for far too long, and every scam sooner or later unravels.

This is the way your season's going to go Tom. Go home now to your supermodel wifey & save Pats fans the aggravation!
This is the way your season's going to go Tom. Go home now to your supermodel wifey & save Pats fans the aggravation!

The New England Patriots are about to unravel in 2010 and you can rest assured that it's going to be a very ugly season up at Gillette Stadium. The local fans may want to stock up on Gillettes so they can slice their jugulars in the stand while they watch the once mighty New England Patriots become the wussy New England Patsies.

Where will New England end up at the end of the 2010 season? Most likely 6-10 and at the bottom of their division. Not that their division is anything to write home about, but the lackluster Toronto Bills look like Montana's 49ers next to the 2010 New England Patchjobs. The way this season is shaping up, Josh Freeman and his squad of tropical-green freshman Tampa Bay Bucs could come into Gillette Stadium in a white-out blizzard and kick Tom's team right in the New England Patellas.

It's not all Tom's fault other than being a fatuous, self-absorbed, no-talent, over the hill QB. The primary responsibility lies with the New England Paterfamilias himself, Belichick. To be kind, let's put it this way. If Belichick hadn't become an NFL coach, he would have been an excellent three card monte artist scamming tailgaters out of 20 bucks in the parking lot. The essence of the problem is simple: There is no reason to have anyone of Belichick's subterranean ethics soiling the name of the National Football League.

Belichick knows as much about football as I know about the mating rituals of the alien whales swimming around underneath Europa's ice cap. His playbook is the result of a monkey typing session, and his skills as a coach would have him thrown off a Pop Warner team in Guam. It would also be advisable for the principal of the Guam high school to check his wallet before he closed the gate behind Belichick's butt, as he can be trusted as much as your average felon embezzler ex-con.

There will be ample tears shed in the Boston baked beans this season as the New England Pathogens get hit with ample doses of germicide by some of the worst teams in the NFL. If Tom Brady had any brains whatsoever (and it's questionable that he does) he would just retire now and avoid himself the embarrassment.

Go home to your supermodel wife and your millions of dollars stacked up in the safe, Tom. And watch where you're driving that Audi!

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    • Hal Licino profile imageAUTHOR

      Hal Licino 

      8 years ago from Toronto

      HELLO! Bucs are 2-0, Pats are 1-1! Are all you Brady lovers getting ready to kiss your season goodbye yet? REMEMBER! Josh Freeman will have better stats than Brady by the playoffs... which the Bucs will make and the Pats will MISS!

    • Hal Licino profile imageAUTHOR

      Hal Licino 

      8 years ago from Toronto

      Yup. I will state that I was wrong and I'm a donkey. However, when the Bucs make the playoffs that the Pats miss, I'm looking forward to your statement. :)

    • profile image

      Derek Lee 

      8 years ago

      Have you put any thought into what your going to say to everybody on your blog, if the Pats dominate the league?

    • Hal Licino profile imageAUTHOR

      Hal Licino 

      8 years ago from Toronto

      I love Peyton. I've listed him on my top five all time.

      https://hubpages.com/sports/The_5_Greatest_Quarter...

      However, as for Brady... by the end of the season his stats will be dwarfed by Josh Freeman. Take THAT to the bank too! :)

    • HELLA profile image

      HELLA 

      8 years ago from Boston

      Your talk is just plain demented. Ha. I can't even sit here and let you get me worked up. It's funny. I hope you're a Colts fan because Manning is the only QB that you could like to be able to talk this much trash.

    • Hal Licino profile imageAUTHOR

      Hal Licino 

      8 years ago from Toronto

      The W/L of the Bucs by the end of the season will be AT LEAST that of the Pats. Take it to the bank.

    • profile image

      Derek Lee 

      8 years ago

      They won't lose 5 games. You must have been watching the Bucs.

    • Hal Licino profile imageAUTHOR

      Hal Licino 

      8 years ago from Toronto

      Sign me up, for the year 2023! :)

      After watching them play yesterday: 6-10, 7-9 at best this season.

    • profile image

      Derek Lee 

      8 years ago

      Anyone for another superbowl parade in Boston?

    • Hal Licino profile imageAUTHOR

      Hal Licino 

      8 years ago from Toronto

      Yeah, I had to give up my sedative medication so that I could contribute it to the poor fans in Foxborough to keep them from going hurting themselves as the Patsies go 6-10... or maybe even 5-11... anyone for 4-12? :)

    • profile image

      Derek Lee 

      8 years ago

      Hal, have you been forgetting to take your medication. You've lost your mind completely this time.

    • Hal Licino profile imageAUTHOR

      Hal Licino 

      8 years ago from Toronto

      Yeah, you're right. JaMarcus at least knows how to mix purple drank. Tom can't even drive. And wait until you see his BOTTOM DWELLING stats for this season. You'll wish Belichick would have picked up JaMarcus! :)

    • HELLA profile image

      HELLA 

      8 years ago from Boston

      Dude are you kidding me?? Way to take a news story that won't mean crap in a few days and make it seem like Brady is washed up....Jemarcus Russell and Ryan Leaf?? You probably should learn how to write an NFL article because once someone reads that, they will stop reading this hub. Garbage article. No substance at all.

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