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Top 10 Reasons SVSU Is Obviously Way Cooler Than GVSU

Updated on September 20, 2017

Battle of the Valleys is right around the corner, and you know what that means! It’s time for us to dispel some fake news that has been disseminated about Saginaw Valley State University by the ‘Other’ Valley. Just to prove our point its time to show GVSU how cool we are, and here are 10 things to prove it:

For reference, please read Catherine Sweeny’s article “Top 10 Reasons GVSU Is Obviously Way Cooler Than SVSU” on The Black Sheep Online. This is a rebuttal article.

10. SVSU’s name doesn’t have the word “Grand” in it.

It’s pretty hard to be cool without the word Saginaw in it. There are so many possibilities for play-on-words that you can use with Saginaw: Swaginaw, Saginawesome, and the ever popular Sagnasty. That being said, no one can compare to Lake SUPERIOR State when it comes to coolness levels in your school’s name.

9. SVSU has Donald Bachand.

Is it even worth going to college without Donnie B? Well actually yes, yes it is, or it wouldn’t be worth going to any other college in the country but SVSU, which is weird to claim… No offense to T. Hass but who wouldn’t want the adorable grandfather figure that is Donnie Bachand.

8. SVSU does not want to experience the wrecking ball.

Who wants to be on the “news for taking off all their clothes and climbing on a giant gray ball?” We saw what happened to Miley Cyrus… You can keep the wrecking ball. On the other hand we have the Gazelle Fountain. And, if you are lucky enough during your freshman orientation you can learn how gazelles are really cardinals (Thanks J. Flood).

7. Coop the Cardinal is the coolest mascot

First of all, how dare you use an old picture of Coop like that after all that money he put into his plastic surgery. That’s just insensitive.

And though he may just be a “giant angry bird,” we all saw how successful that app was, just like SVSU students. Finally, I don’t want to point out the obvious, but we soar while you sink.

6. SVSU’s Campus is exceptionally better than GVSU

When you look at our campus you may see a ‘golf course’ as some would say. Or, you can see a campus where 50% of the university has been built or remodeled in the past decade, or a campus that has been ranked #1 in the state of Michigan for the past two years for our housing. Also, you can wake up 15 minutes before your class starts and still make it on time. Who is the real winner here?

5. SVSU has Saginaw

Unlike Grand Rapids, Saginaw has a lot to offer, such as a place to secure your first internship. Wait… every college town in the United States offers that. Also, along with our fine dining options of McDonalds and Applebees, we have a bridge you aren’t supposed to cross, even if no one will tell you exactly which bridge it is.

4. People at GVSU never get to experience the wonders of Kochville/Saginaw Twp.

Kochville/Saginaw Twp. might just seem like a cornfield town with nothing but 1,000 fast food chains, and three different Panda Expresses within five miles of each other, but you can’t beat the soothing smell of sugar beets in the morning! However, SV students understand that places like these are only meant to build character… so take that, GVSU.

3. Quality over Quantity

You can deny the facts, even when it is written in the numbers. GVSU may have a campus population of 25,000+, but SVSUs small size provides a tight knit community that brings people together and makes us feel more than a statistic. We may be half the size but we have twice the heart.

2. Campus Dining

I’m really sorry that GVSU students admit that they don’t like their own dining options. But at SVSU, not only do we have a wide variety of restaurants on campus, we also have an awesome Dining Services department that keeps us entertained with its fresh memes and free coffee. Also, you’ve never had a FOC cookie before, so you can’t talk.

1. SVSU Kicks Ass in the Battle of The Valleys Competition

Unlike the FAKE NEWS you might have heard, it goes without saying that SVSU kicks ass at Battle of the Valleys. Not only has SVSU WON the fundraising portion of Battle of the Valleys for that last nine years (INCLUDING last year), we have raised over $350,000 for various charities throughout the years.

Furthermore; Last year, the No. 2 ranked GVSU BARELY pulled off a 62-56 win over SVSU in double OT. I would hardly call that destroying us.


Obviously, Saginaw Valley is where it’s at. It’s a place of great dorms, cornfields, Coop the Cardinal, and Donnie B. And if you don’t agree? That’s fine, this entire article is pure satire.

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