Top 10 Reasons why the NBA is Stupid
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Top 10 Reasons why the NBA is Stupid
Making millionaires of former high school graduates, the National Basketball Association continues to persist despite being a monument to stupidity. Making a mockery of economic sensibilities, league administrators preside over a declining market share. Making a travesty of tradition, union reps defend blindingly immature behavior by players.
It's all fun and games until someone notices the stands are virtually empty and TV viewership demonstrates steep decline. Few fans actually care, but we present the Top Ten Reasons why the NBA is Stupid. We limit our compendium to 10 bullet points. With great restraint we restrain our ramblings to a number corresponding to the average number of college credits earned by starting point guards in "The Association."
10. Team names have no meaning. The Los Angeles Lakers migrated from a city actually located within reasonable proximity of a legitimate lake. LA lacks a lake. The Utah Jazz originated in and fled from New Orleans. Salt Lake City is sans Jazz.
9. Rules don't apply evenly. No one in the NBA denies that star players get star treatment from the referees. Greater latitude in fouls, traveling calls, and celebratory behavior are all granted to marque players.
8. The game is second to the experience. Attending an NBA game is akin to dropping into a video game. Constant visual and auditory bombardment accompany what's actually occurring on the court. Hot dogs and T-shirts are cannoned into the audience during time-outs. Music drowns out any attempted communication between coach and player.
7. Players cannot develop. A high school player drafted by a professional team has no opportunity to learn new skills or gradually adapt to the professional game. The season is so long and so grinding that almost all very young players get destroyed by the system. An entry-level millionaire is expected to contribute immediately by fans and also by the front office.
6. There are too many teams. League expansion has given way to a drum beat for contraction.
5. Long-term contracts have crippled many teams. General Managers and coaches looking for a quick fix committed millions of dollars to players at or near the end of their careers. Some players receive paychecks for 5 years after their last jump shot. Team salary structures are hamstrung by payments to guys who no longer appear on the active roster.
4. Players can't manage their money. Sycophantic retinues of hangers-on combined with extremely bad financial planning leaves many players stone broke after stellar careers.
3. The season is too long. Over 80 professional basketball games stretch over a season lasting almost 6 months. After that, the playoffs. Players are simply worn down by the travel and the pounding. Injuries result.
2. Too many teams make the playoffs. A veritable plethora of teams coast through the regular season, sleep-walking until the playoffs. A team with a .500 record can earn the postseason.
1. The college game is ruined by capricious NBA rules. An amateur player cannot be drafted by an NBA team until his high school graduating class is one year in the rear-view mirror. This leads to a culture of 'one and done' players populating college teams, biding their time until draft day. Many of these student-athletes simply stop attending class after their freshman season. Spring semester sees them long gone from campus, signing with agents and negotiating endorsement contracts. With no motivation to build a college career or nurture school tradition, they accept illegal rewards from boosters and attend just enough classes to remain eligible.