Ultima Lucha Tres: Part 2 Preview
Can you believe it’s already been a week since Killshot and Dante Fox opened up Ultima Lucha Tres by nearly wiping each other off the face of the earth?! Me neither. Alas a week has nearly gone by, which means it’s time for Lucha Underground to somehow attempt a follow up to last week’s epic Death Match to end all Death Match’s. Will they do? Who can say for sure but they at least have one match on this show, a long building, personal feud that should at least give LU a shot at besting Killshot and Fox’s masterpiece. Beyond that, we also have another long building feud and a battle royal that should lead to something else as Ultima Lucha Tres rolls on. All of that and more will be broken down starting…right now. Moses, put that meme down before those dastardly fireflies from that X-Files episode I’m watching come to get me.
Unique Opportunity Battle Royal
Argenis vs. Cortez Castro vs. Joey Ryan vs. Mala Suerte vs. Mascarita Sagrada vs. Paul London vs. Pimpinela Escarlata vs. P.J. Black vs. Rick Mundo vs. Saltador vs. Son of Madness vs. The Mack vs. Vinnie Massaro
What to Expect: Hey it’s the annual Ultima Lucha dark match battle royal…only this time it’s airing on TV! Alright it’s not quite that as there’s actually stakes involved in this bad boy. Dario Cueto has decided to go back to his “Unique Opportunity” bag, giving the winner of this match said opportunity that will surely not have any other strings attached to it. Who am I kidding; all the strings in the world will be attached to it! It’s El Jefe himself we’re talking about. The only thing involving him that doesn’t include a catch is…no wait, there isn’t anything. Unless we count him beating someone to death with the red bull, but even then I’d argue that involves death. Poor Mr. Cisco.
Anyways, we don’t know what the catch for this “unique opportunity” is yet, but I can safely say what the opportunity is; a shot at the Trios Championships. What else could it be? Every other LU title is being defended or fought for on Ultima Lucha and every other major story is accounted it. The only thing left to fight for is the Trios Championships, so I’d venture to guess the winner will get a shot, with the partners being to luchador(a)s of El Jefe’s choosing. Seems like a winning scenario to me. It also leaves the result wide open; even if someone in a trio wins they could just as easily be put in with someone else because Dario is that bored and that vindictive. That sort of development should be enough to make this match interesting, even if the traditional battle royal format isn’t exactly the most exciting type of match in history.
Winner: I don’t know if anyone recalls, but the last time we saw the Trios Champions (who you may have forgotten are Drago, Pindar and the Luchasaurus himself) they were beating up The Mack. And who happens to be in this match? None other than Big Willie himself. That’s all I need to go with Mack winning this one by eliminating Vinnie Massaro to take it home, followed by Dario picking Mack’s partners for him. Who that is, I have no clue. Perhaps it’s a certain Intergalactic Maniac that has issues with Drago? A long thought dead luchador with a sword? A dude with Deer Antlers?! Let the wild internet speculation commence!
Ivelisse vs. Catrina
What to Expect: Without question the biggest unknown of Ultima Lucha Tres for me, largely because we haven’t seen Ivelisse in an LU match since right before Aztec Warfare III. In other words, almost a year ago. It’s a shame Ivelisse got hurt when she did because the storyline between her and Catrina is fairly compelling. It all goes back to the first season of Lucha Underground, where Catrina sent the Disciples of Death (remember those dudes?!) after Ivelisse, Angelico and Son of Havoc and ultimately cost them the Trios Championships at Ultima Lucha Uno. The two crossed paths a few more times in season two, but the feud didn’t hit critical mass again till Catrina screwed over Ivelisse at Ultima Lucha Dos, this time interfering to help Taya win. Ivelisse made the challenge for an Ultima Lucha Tres match between the two no sooner did LU’s third season began and that’s where things got cold, not counting the fact that Ivelisse’s boyfriend Jeremiah Crane has been trying to woo Catrina all season (and more than likely used Ivelisse to get into the Temple and get close to Catrina again). So here we are, with the feud not quite as hot as it could’ve been with Ivelisse healthy and match quality a big question. Not on Ivelisse’s end mind you; we know she’s great and even coming off an injury I expect she’ll be at the top of her game. The question mark is for Catrina. The bad news; she hasn’t really wrestled that much in the last few years. The good news; when she did wrestle frequently in another lifetime (you may or may not remember her as Maxine from WWE) she wasn’t half bad, and that was before she found the role she best fit. I think she’ll be able to do enough, Ivelisse will be able to carry the bulk of the load and this match should wind up being pretty good. Perhaps it won’t have the heat it could’ve if Ivelisse had remained healthy, but even still I think we’re in for a good match.
Winner: The signs would suggest this is Ivelisse’s time as Catrina has cost her two straight Ultima Lucha matches; ergo third time’s the charm. Of course Catrina is also an immortal being with two men willing to do whatever it takes for her, not to mention connections to all sorts of plotlines going on in the Temple. In other words, this is coming down to a Canadian Dollar Flip (heads Ivelisse, moose Catrina). And the winner is…Ivelisse! She gets her revenge over Catrina and the biggest win of her LU singles career. You know, not counting that alternate universe where she doesn’t get hurt and ends up the one who beats Mil Muertes in Aztec Warfare III to become the first ever female Lucha Underground Champion. Can we go to that universe please? PLEASE?!
Mask vs. Hair Match
Fenix vs. Marty “The Moth” Martinez
What to Expect: The biggest Lucha Underground match since Dante Fox fell through some glass. So what if that was only a week ago?! While this match won’t feature the violence of last week’s encounter (I don’t think), it’s never the less just as personal. This story, if we’re being honest, began all the way back in season one when Marty first appeared and started flapping his arms every time Melissa Santos announced him. We all thought it was a quirk at first; then Marty turned into The Joker if he was played by Edward Furlong on PCP, revealed he was obsessed with Melissa and things just kind of built from there. Eventually Fenix got involved through a friendship/romance with Melissa, which led to Marty targeting Fenix and ultimately the most precious thing in the world to him; his mask. That’s just how Marty rolls folks. All he lives to do is laugh maniacally, carry around lunchboxes with forks and scissors and steal your favorite things like dog tags or masks. I can’t wait till we get him vs. Mil and Marty takes the stone; you will never have seen a rage quit like the one Mil will be doing when that happens.
Anyways, Fenix did at least get Marty to put his hair on the line for this match, so it’s not a no win situation for the ladies man of Lucha Underground (seriously; first Catrina now Melissa? WHAT IS YOUR SECRET FENIX?!). I think I speak for everyone when I say that this is the biggest Apuesta match Lucha Underground has had and it’s definitely going to be one of the best. Marty has grown into one of LU’s most complete performers from an in ring and character standpoint, while Fenix has taken his high flying game and developed into an in ring performer who can work slower when he has to while still delivering the high spots that made us all rally behind him. As long as they are given time to tell their story, this should be a highly dramatic, excellent match that will feature at least one death defying Fenix spot, some blood and one moment from Marty that makes us all run towards the shower as fast as we possibly can.
Winner: Fenix, Fenix and Fenix. Marty is great and he’s definitely due a big victory somewhere down the road, but there’s no way Fenix should be unmasking at this stage of the game in Lucha Underground, Crash or anywhere. So look for Mr. 1,000 Lives to pull this one out with an absolutely spectacular move to pick up the victory and Marty’s hair. Somehow Marty will find a way to enjoy himself anyway I suppose. By the by, does this meant the Marty/Melissa thing is over after this? Man, what are we going to do without Marty stalking Melissa on Lucha Underground?!
That’s game gang. I now disappear into a puff of smoke until later tonight when I review CMLL. In other words, a few hours from now. Till we meet again, THIS!