A secret agent must be small and sly,they must be silent as they walk and enjoy watching "24" with Kiefer Sutherland,They must be able to look inconspicuous ,so tall and morbidly obese people who wear Mexican sombrero's needn't apply.A secret agent must have been Christened with a cool name like Lydia Jackal or Peter Spikemonger.
Most secret agents are plucked from the ranks of the boy/girl Scouts ,so be aware of anyone trying to sell you cookies as they probably have a hidden agenda.
Most Secret agents like cheese.
Most secret agents tuck their shirts into their underwear (which leaves a very visible panty line)this is usually a big giveaway and the main reason so many agents died during the cold war(that and hypothermia).
A secret agent's preferred weapon is a silenced Walther PPK 22mm but some have been know to use household objects like dustpans and the ever available cheese-grater.
As i said earlier most secret agents like cheese but some are lactose intolerant and prefer fruit after dinner.
A double agent is one that has a doppelganger or at least someone that looks quite similar(sometimes they are related like the boys from Hanson)
Israeli secret agents are called Mossad because they like to hide on rocks.
Although most secret agents like cheese most prefer it in it's natural state and not cooked (like on Pizza's)
If you are accosted by a secret agent the best line of defence is to remove your back-pack and place it on your head to try and make yourself look taller.
If you are already tall or large and have a Mexican sombrero you could try using that.
I hope I've been of help.
peace and be careful out there.