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Batty Boat Names

Updated on January 7, 2013

Welcome to Batty Boat Names

Well, if you've ever wanted to find a funny name to float your boat, you've definitely come to the right place.

We've got oodles of hilarious handles or hooks for your scow, sloop or schooner.

Why choose a boring boat name like "Susie Q", "The Great One", or "Paradise Lost" when you can choose a whack of wonderful words for your boat, bark, or motorized bathtub!

If you want some hilarious hydrotherapy or just a bit of merry maritime musing, then you've definitely landed on a very queer pier.


Image Credit: Illustration by Mattias Adolfsson postesd in

King Neptune lept out of the deep blue sea or maybe it was the pondering pool in his backyard - And asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up ...


And, come to think of it, if I had a ship, I'd probably call it the "Seasick Sloop", so there!


Image Credit: Vimrod cartoon by Lisa Swerling and Ralph Lazar -

HMS Piddleninton welcomed an eclectic group of passengers on its maiden voyage. - All of which raises the question, why are they making a mad dash to board thi

Because, those who hadn't taken the liberty of relieving themselves before boarding the vessel scurried with great haste towards the poop deck.

Surely that's what they call a powder room or a public place of ease?


Image Credit: Ronald Searle - "Deadeye Dick" posted in picturesfromanoldbook.blogspot. com/D_D-14



There are 16.8 million boats in use on U.S. waterways.

That little fact means there are more than a few funny folks out there who know that naming one's boat or bark is one way to leave one's mark on the silly sea of life.

Unfortuntely, there are some without either a funnybone or an interesting imagination. Hence, according to 808 Boat Names, which is why their delightful database is filled with nutty "no name" handles like:

-- (NO NAME)

-- Being renamed


-- Couldn't agree on a name.

-- Currently not named

-- First Step (until we find a better name)

-- Good ole what's her name

-- Has yet to be named

-- Have not named her yet

-- Haven't named it.

-- Looking for a name

-- Name not picked

-- Nameless

-- New boat - no name yet


-- No name

-- No Name (yet)

-- NO Name on the boat yet I am still thinking

-- No name yet

-- No name yet but open for ideas

-- Not named

-- Not Named as yet

-- Not named at this time.

-- Not named so far

-- Not named yet

-- Not named yet but thinking,,,

-- Not yet named

-- Notnamed

-- Still thinking about a name for boat

-- Still working on a name

-- To be named

-- To be renamed, as yet undecided


-- Un-named

-- UnNamed

-- Unnamed as of yet

-- Unnamed at this time

-- Unnamed for now

What do you mean you've never seen a banana boat?


Image Credit: - 2010/08

Let's Hear It For Homer! - Or, any fool knows what do to when yer boat don't float...

Image Credit:
Image Credit:

"When the tides of life turn against you and the current upsets your boat, don't waste those tears on what might have been, just lie on your back and float, or fart."

A Word of Advice From the Better Boating Business Bureau

Row, row, row your boat

Gently down the stream

Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily

Use those oars before I scream!

DO WHATEVER FLOATS YOUR BOAT - Wanted: One very musical moniker


Okay, so what would you call this weird wet one?

See results



Here's a list of the most popular sailboat names found on the 10,000 Boat Names web site.

Frankly, I prefer a list that's bound to catch a few laughs, giggles, or guffaws! (Courtesy of

-- Fish n' Chicks

-- Sin or Swim

-- Cat-Astrophy

-- Knotty Girl

-- Reel Trouble

-- Drippin Wet

-- Pier Pressure

-- Viaqua

-- Whopper Stopper

-- Knot Too Shabby

-- Going Seanile

-- Don't Even Ask

-- Linger Lounger

-- HMS Hot Lips

Naughty Nautical Name


Who says those crazy Canucks don't have a saucy sense of humor?



What's the name of this potty pirate's man-o-war?

See results



Well shiver my timbers and bless my toes, here goes:

-- Jokers & Jiggers

-- Jest-In-Time!

-- Seasick Souls

Okay smarty-pants...let's see if you can come up with something better!



Noah loved all the animals...including the termite and the woodpecker. He just wasn't sure whether the latter landlubbers were a good fit on this voyage to Valhalla.

What should Noah have named his ark?

See results

Santa ditched the reindeer, sleigh, and gifts - And decided to opt for boxers, babes and boating instead!


Image Credit:


-- Even houseboats need nifty names, and here are some suggested ones for these floating fantasies:

-- Above Board

-- Albatross Ahoy

-- At Loose Ends

-- Close Quarters!

-- Deep-Six Domesticity

-- Dungaree Den

-- Gripes & Grog

-- Gung Ho Galley

-- Holy Mackerel House

-- Hunky-Dory Houseboat

-- Inn the Drink

-- Not Mother-Hubbard's Cupboard

-- Martha Stewart Doesn't Live Here

-- Mind Your P's and Q's

-- In The Soup!

-- Anchor's Adrift

-- Awash By Gosh

-- Bilge Buddy

-- Booby Hatchers!

-- Buoys & Girls

-- Cat-O'-Nine Tails Cottage

-- Diva Jones Locker!

-- Don't Rock the Boat!

-- Fly By Night Hotel

-- Footloose & Fancy-Free

-- Gangplanks & Gauntlets

-- Hammock House

-- Happy Hatchway

-- Hard-Tack Homebody

-- Lubber's Lounge

-- Mae West Mansion

-- Neptune's Nook

-- No Room To Swing A Cat

-- No Great Shakes

-- Ocean-in-Motion

-- Pipe Down!

-- Poop Deck Party Place

-- Porthole Palace

-- Sizzle & Scuttlebutt

-- Ship's Biscuit

-- Swashbuckler's Delight

-- Three Sheets to the Wind

-- Tidewater Temple

-- Touch & Go

-- Under The Weather

-- Waterlogged Wigwam


Image Credit: Houseboat -

Nutty Navigation & Names

Name That Boat!: A Nautical Trivia Challenge for Those Who Enjoy Anything Even Slightly Salty
Name That Boat!: A Nautical Trivia Challenge for Those Who Enjoy Anything Even Slightly Salty

Are you looking for a slighty salty or salacious name for your schooner...and forget the "Sloop John B"!

The Art of Boat Names: Inspiring Ideas for Names and Designs
The Art of Boat Names: Inspiring Ideas for Names and Designs

Don't get your knickers twisted, Y-Knot take a peek!

Let's Name It: 10,000 Boat Names for All Types of Watercraft
Let's Name It: 10,000 Boat Names for All Types of Watercraft

For those who don't consider themselves a Smartypants Seabiscuit and need a little help to name their ark.

Fishing Boat Names: Bible-Wise and Other-Wise
Fishing Boat Names: Bible-Wise and Other-Wise

Fishy characters will love this one!

Hardline Products REBKS610 610 Series Red/Black Factory Matched Boat Name Kit
Hardline Products REBKS610 610 Series Red/Black Factory Matched Boat Name Kit

For the do-it-yourself person who wants to rock their own boat thank you very much!


GALES OF GIGGLES GUESTBOOK - Alright, so you don't like any of these nutty names, what else do you have to offer that will set off gales of giggles?

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    • catsman profile image

      catsman 4 years ago

      I've seen a boat that goes between Galway and the Aran Islands in Ireland. It was called the 'Happy Hooker'!

      BTW. A hooker was a type of sailing boat from that region in years gone by.

    • ezbuysdirect profile image

      ezbuysdirect 4 years ago

      The Santa on a boat is my favorite one.

    • Close2Art LM profile image

      Close2Art LM 5 years ago

      awesome lens, I was going to do one like this but after checking this out I'm just going to bless yours and do something else, this page is so cool....:)rob

    • BruceStott profile image

      Bruce Stott 6 years ago from Sidney BC

      Nice lens. Some other names for your collection:

      35' sailboat - Knotty Luffer and the dinghy was Luff Child

      Big trawler - Wife Preserver

      runabout - Her Mink Coat

    • totallyclever profile image

      totallyclever 6 years ago

      How about a sign in your car window saying "my other motor has sails" or something.

      Great lens, thanks for publishing.