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Ninja Training: How to Become a Ninja
Do you feel like a ninja trapped in a normal person’s body?
Have you ever pretended that your broom was a katana (and broke the ceiling fan light fixture)?
Have you ever felt jealous about those men in black?
Do you secretly practice your ninja moves and wish you were a real ninja?
Well, you can be. Perhaps you already are and just don’t know it!
There are probably so many ninjas roaming the streets right now, and you can’t see them because they are that good!
This is exactly what you are up against and you have a lot of training ahead of you to get there. Don’t feel discouraged though, ninjas don’t do that.
If you want to learn how to become a ninja, then it comes as no surprise that there are things you have to do. This handy list will ensure you do everything that a dark warrior must master.
Ninja Training Requirements
- Dress: If you want to be a ninja, then you must dress like a ninja. That cool, black, head-to-toe outfit is not a costume. It’s called a shinobi shozoku and those super awesome slip-toed shoes are called tabi. If you call them a costume, everyone will think you’re just pretending and not take you seriously like a ninja should be taken. Choose your words carefully, ninja.
- Move: If you want to really know how to become a ninja, you must be one with your surroundings. You need to constantly be on your toes, literally, and always be in stealth mode. If you cannot learn to blend within your surroundings, then you cannot be a ninja.
- Train: Ninjas need to be strong and quick, both physically and mentally. Practice running, climbing, and fighting with your super awesome ninja weapons. Then practice being quiet. Then combine. Train often because a real ninja’s training is never over.
- Weapons: Most ninjas have cool weapons like a katana or some nunchucks. Try out many weapons and find what works for you. More advanced ninjas just use their hands. You’ll get there.
- Diet: Ninjas require a well-balanced diet to keep their ninja skills in check. Ninjas need to be fit, have a lot of energy, and plenty of muscle. Protein is a ninja’s friend. Don’t be afraid to crack open an egg into a glass and drink it raw, ninja-style.
- Sleep: Yes, you can even be a ninja while sleeping! Want to know how? Just walk into a room with a sleeping ninja when he is not expecting your presence. You’ll learn.
- Fight: To be a ninja, you must, of course, be able to fight like one! This is a good time to convince another friend to be a ninja with you because you can practice this skill together.
- Talk: When you aren't busy jumping through hallways in super stealth mode, you need to talk like a ninja. How do ninjas talk? Well, they don’t. Get it?
- Dance: Ninjas are great dancers, since they're agile and understand the flow of moving gracefully. So start your ninja training by learning how to bust a move!
- Discernment: Lastly, a ninja in training must be able to discern between good and bad. A great way to practice your quick discerning skills is to master the ancient art of fruit slicing,
What's your favorite nerdy ninja name?
Mastering your Ninja Skills
Utilizing the tips above will help you achieve the ever-so-coveted ninja status. Though there is a lot involved in learning how to become a ninja, anyone with the will can do it!
In a nutshell, one must become a total ninja in their mind to be ready for the real deal. Mental preparation is necessary to develop the discipline and drive to become a real ninja.
As long as you know how to become a ninja, the rest lies in your hands (and feet).
Get out there and get started, don’t forget your shinobi shozoku and tabi. If you don’t know what those are, re-read this article. Then get out there and practice. What are you still doing on the computer?