10 Real Benefits Of Being A Blonde
Blondes Have Inherited the Earth!
I'm blonde. I like being blonde and I've found it to be extremely useful. In this non-exhaustive list I outline the reasons for my preference. Some of my points are virtually clichés but I see no reason to omit these.
- Blondes have more fun! How do I know this? I once dyed my hair a deep, mahogany brown. I stopped having fun immediately. However, when I returned to my natural hair colour all the fun came back into my life.
- Gentlemen prefer blondes. Very true. How do I know this (see above)? Not only did I stop having fun when I turned brunette, my boyfriend dumped me too. Surprise, surprise, when I returned to my natural state he wanted to "try again". I dated his best friend in reply to his request.
- There is a perception that blondes are stupid! This can be advantageous to blondes like me - highly educated and very able to manipulate others. In extreme cases this misperception leads to nasty off-hand treatment of blondes. I advise all blondes suffering this to mark the cards of perpetrators and move on. There will come a time…
- Blondes in the Sun. The sun can have a magnificent effect on all hair types. It brings out highlights and lowlights, shades and tones. This is most true of blonde hair. I'm lucky too as I have green eyes and tan, golden brown, very easily. This is a knock-out combination and is irresistibly attractive to Latin men. In Spain for instance it is very difficult to buy yourself a drink in a bar and when anywhere in Andalusia you are given flowers by many admiring men. Be warned though, this can be slightly embarrassing.
- Blonde hair dries quicker. I reckon that my hair dries twice as fast as my brunette friends. Over the course of a lifetime this will give me a few extra weeks to spend enjoying myself.
- Pink, blue, orange, green, red and yellow hair-dyes tale well in blonde hair. For anyone into Punk fashions therefore, being blonde is a useful asset. A brunette punk would have to dye her or his hair blonde before using a vibrant colour dye.
- Blonde hair looks better with: little black dresses, most uniforms and academic cloaks and mortar boards.
- Blondes get the best men! You can't argue against this one. We select our partners from the many available to us.
- Blondes can write lists! Do you need any more proof of this!
- Blondes turn grey and it doesn't look at all bad! My grey hairs blend in with my blonde tones. My hair looks more beautiful now than it has ever done!
I could go on (see 9) for at least another twenty points - but I'm a blonde and as such I get easily bored.
PLEASE NOTE: This is a spoof - nobody could be as bad at that! I hope you read this far and realise but, I'm amused to think that I could have made your blood boil. Tee hee!