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11 Things Men Should Never, Ever Wear in Public
Now don’t get it twisted, this list doesn’t include trends that work like a light-switch, such as cuffing jeans, that's a trend that was only put to rest, it’s not dead. This list contains widely confirmed style trends that need to be banished from every man’s closet, and it needs to happen now.
1. Square-Toed Shoes
You knew it had to be the first one. The reason being is because square-toed shoes are something that’s been protested against so many times, yet people still continue to wear them. If you happen to own a pair of these, the biggest suggestion would be to immediately send them to a fiery bottomless and never-ending chasm. It's long been asked why these types of shoes are so wrong. I can tell you, but it’s better to just show you the difference between regular dress shoes and ones that look like you're about to play kickball during recess:
2. Dress Shirts with Chest Pockets
Okay, this one's not too bad, but there is something that is just so “Dad” about the dress shirts with chest pockets, especially if the shirt is a tad over-sized, which is the case with most men out there. It’s important to remember that this doesn’t apply to casual shirts, as casual shirts usually have a pocket. But as far as dress shirts go, there’s something about the chest pocket that’s so tacky, especially if there’s a huge wallet stuffed in there or pens clipped onto the pocket. The huge bulky pocket also somehow ruins the general sleekness that the dress shirt is supposed to display. Go simple, lose the pocket. Here's a comparison.
3. Anything Flames, Wings or Crosses
No, just no. Nothing screams "2009" and "trying too hard" more than shirts with flames, wings, or skulls. I don't even know whether these were ever in style, or whether it was mainly targeted for high school boys who wore them to the gym. If you're under the age of 18, you get a free pass on this one. But unless you're an MMA fighter promoting the brand, please, stay away from any Affliction or any shirt with crosses, roses, skulls, or the entire Sistine Chapel on it.
4. Jeans with Bling on them
I don't even know the exact term for this one, that's how bad they are. Either way, there really is no reason to wear jeans with symbols, jewels, or gems glued on the back. They'll just end up peeling off anyway.
5. Studded anything
My 40-something English teacher wore a studded leather belt because he wanted to "feel young again." There's nothing wrong with being 40... But dressing like you're a 16 year-old boy going through the whole teen rebellion anarchist phase just makes you look like you're going through a midlife crisis.
6. Baggy Anything
If you have a decent build, there's no reason to be wearing baggy clothing. You're basically hiding yourself if you do. See below for the difference between baggy and fit. Same gentleman, different clothing. The picture on the left: baggy jacket, baggy pants, square-toed shoes, oh let's not forget... bottom button is buttoned! God almighty, I won't even explain why you shouldn't button the bottom button on a suit jacket, since it's been so widely engraved already, you should already know. Now compare it to the picture on the right... There you go.
7. Sleeveless Anything
Unless you're at the gym or in any kind of sports-setting, there's really no reason why anyone should see your man-flaps. I understand that you want to show off your guns, but save it for the gym or for alone-time in front of the mirror. But if you're in a public setting, the worst part is when you have to lift your arm up to scratch your head and show the whole world your hairy pits.
8. Velcro Anything
It's mainly the sound that personally gives me the shivers... I get that it's functional, maybe practical, but it reminds people of the type of wallet they used in 5th grade. Wallets are one thing, since they are concealed and people hardly see them, but if you're wearing Velcro shoes out in public, there's no hope for you. Burn them.
I can't really think of any reason why anyone should see your toes, unless you're at the beach or the pool. And even so, any sandals that are single-banded, have Velcro straps, or basically any Zuckerberg-like sandals do you no justice in the feet department. Oh, and the clunky mandals are only complimented by those long, white, high school gym-class socks. Gotta love that combination.
10. Deep V-Necks
Or, pretty much anything that shows off a little too much man-cleavage. Look, I understand if you want to give the tiger some air, but there are much more practical shirts for that. Go with a normal V-neck or a Henley. See below for the difference.
11. Untucked Dress Shirts...
I saved this one for last for a few reasons: 1. so many people do it. 2. nothing is more cringe-worthy than it. The best part is that the common excuse is "I'm going casual today." Well, if you're going casual, wear a casual shirt? Guys, come on. There is a reason why dress shirts are so long. They are meant to be tucked in. If you want to go "casual" for Fridays, go with a casual shirt. If you don't know the difference, see below. The top picture shows an untucked dress shirt, the bottom shows an untucked casual shirt, which is meant to be that way.
Gentlemen, I hope you're all getting the overall theme now. Anything that is meant to be functional or anything overly flamboyant such as big logos, wings, flames, graphics, isn't stylish. Sandals? Obnoxious/funny t-shirts? Gym shoes? There's a time and a place for them, but it's definitely not in a professional or stylish demeanor. Also, I'd like to emphasize the effectiveness and importance of keeping it simple. No need for a fancy brand shirt with big logos. Go with a simple plain V-neck or crew-neck t-shirt. No need for 200 dollar True Religion jeans with all that butt-bling on them. Go with a simple Levi's and pay 50 dollars instead.
Now that we've all learned something, go forth and be stylish, my friends.