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8 Reasons You Need a Beard

Updated on April 28, 2016

This list could simply read; Darwin... Dickens... Connery... Blessed... Guevara... Teen Wolf... Hemingway... and Lincoln. And it could be argued that’s all that’s needed. But let’s elaborate a little further.

1 - People Respect a Well Kept Beard

Beards are as old as the human race. Just look at the list above and you get an idea of why a neat, shapely beard commands respect. A good beard is respected internationally.

‘Kudos on the beard, Sir!’

‘C’est un très grande barbe, monsieur!’

‘S’up beard bro!’

People will congratulate and revere you for your superior face fuzz, wherever you go. It’s only when you start to attract admiration from passing vagrants that this becomes an issue.

I have the terrible feeling that, because I am wearing a white beard and am sitting in the back of the theatre, you expect me to tell you the truth about something. These are the cheap seats, not Mount Sinai.

— Orson Welles

2 – A Beard Gives You Presence

When a man with a well kept beard walks into a room, it steals the show. It gives you presence. Think Ulysses S. Grant. Think Leonidas. You are ‘that’ man. Top the beard off with a warm, welcoming smile, and you become ‘that’ man that everybody wants to know. Bringing us nicely to our next reason...


3 - It’s a Talking Point

A beard is a great talking point. I forget how many conversations have started with the beard. From the barman to the barmaid, the trash man to the bank manager, the shop assistant to the show stopper, they all start conversation being comforted and compelled by the beard. Remember that conversation rules the world. The next could very well change your life, or introduce you to your life partner. All so often, the beard gets the foot in the door.

4 - It’s Fun

Simple, having a beard is fun. Walking along the beach, getting destroyed by the elements and laughing at the aftermath, is fun. Twiddling your ‘stache like a Victorian aristocrat, is fun. Waking up in the morning looking like you’ve had some sort of a giant electric shock, is fun. Using your beard as a wig for your dog, is fun. Walking all the way into town with yogurt in your beard... is not fun.

The beard also doubles up as a thinking aid. If you get stuck on a problem at work, simply stroke the beard, knowingly. Trust me, it works.


What a beard hast thou


Thou hast got more hair on thy chin than

Dobbin my fill-horse has on his tail

— William Shakespeare

5 - Beard Oil

Beard oil is great. Available in an infinite number of invigorating scents, think aftershave times a hundred. A good beard oil warmed in the hands and worked deep into the face and beard is as soothing as any sunrise. With a bit of research, know-how and confidence, you can even make your own.

“Kissing a man with a beard is a lot like going to a picnic. You don't mind going through a little bush to get there!”

— Minnie Pearl

6 - You Find Some Things Out About Yourself

Growing a beard is a journey. It has its ups and downs. On more than one occasion, you will wake up with the closest thing to a 'bad hair day'. You will wonder what on Earth happened to you overnight. You'll have the strongest urge to reach for the trimmers, or even the razor. Maybe you’ll even do it. But you’ll regret it right away. As soon as you see that first proud beard strolling down the road, the pain will stab deep, and your reserve will be redoubled. These are the moments when you find out how deep vanity runs in you, and how much perseverance you truly possess.

7 - Ladies Love Beards

Far from wishful conjecture, this is scientifically proven. You may hear the odd disapproving comment, but polls and research show that women find beards attractive. Whether it’s the outward show of masculinity, or the look of a well groomed beard, for many ladies, it’s a thumbs up.


There is always a period when a man with a beard shaves it off. This period does not last. He returns headlong to his beard.

— Jean Cocteau

8 - You Can Be Father Christmas... or a Viking

Simple as that really... or a leprechaun... or Forrest Gump... or grab a friend and be ZZ Top...

Yes, the beard shuts the door on may fancy dress ideas, but it opens the door on so many more. Be the best wizard at the party. BE GANDALF! Be Alan from The Hangover.... Be Charles Darwin...

How Long Have You Been Growing Your Beard?

How Long Have You Been Growing Your Beard?

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