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A Bizarre World Of Shoes
- So you have just cleared out the cupboard of those old clothes that have been laying around for what seems like an eternity. With your sleeves rolled up, and with sweat on your brow, you now stare down at your ancient collection of old women shoes. A grin begins to break upon your face as you wonder how you could have possibly been seen dead in some of those odd looking heels, that seemed the raging fashion of the time.
Well let me tell you, before you condemn your ancient collection of womens shoes out the door for all eternity,be reassured, they can not be half as odd as some of the bizarre collection of ladies shoes that I have recently stumbled across. After you feast your eyes upon this humble collection, you will realise that your old red platform heels you now look upon with distaste, are so much more normal in comparison to these unearthly specimens. So with further ado I present my "Most Bizarre World Of Shoes ", guaranteed to make you gasp.
..'Women's fashion is a subtle form of bondage. It's men's way of binding them. We put them in these tight, high-heeled shoes, we make them wear these tight clothes and we say they look sexy. But they're actually tied up....... David Duchovny '.
I guess we have all heard the expression walking on nails. How about walking on wire with these lavish heels?
Well I guess for those with no time to shave your legs, these exotic high heels would certainly blend with your hairy stubble.
Well I guess they need to straighten legs, just as braces are needed to straighten teeth. A stark look at the 'tall shoe'.
Handy for those with surplus trees in their garden and have alwas desired to carve. Hence the modern age 'platform shoe'
For those who prefer art over foot strain. Typically a high heel bred with Martha Stewart.
THE BONDAGE SHOE
A much cheaper alternative to advertise bondage services than in the Yellow Pages. The high heel takes a ardent stand.
CINDERELLA'S MISSING GLASS SLIPPER
For the dear little Princess inside every girl meet the glass designer shoe.
"How much is that doggy on your tootsies, I do hope that doggies for sale."
Buy some portable Pups, a plush womens shoe today, guaranteed to screw you up even more. How good is that?
'Oh alack and alas,
My feet never grow,
If I whack them in these,
No-one will know'.
THE NATURAL THERAPY SHOE
Ever been late for your acupuncture appointment ? Well how about portable spikes, bound to do the job when you can't get the job done. A free puncture guaranteed for every step you make. A designer shoe with attitude.
THE MOLE SHOE
Brings out the 'mole' in every woman. These animalistic fur-balls will without doubt, lure the man of your dreams to your den of seduction. What a little tiger you are growl!
THE BLONDE SHOE
These womens shoes ones are strictly for entertainment purposes. A bit like a Rubik Cube I guess. Give a pair to a blonde in your life for Xmas and watch her stand there for hours wondering how she will take her first step. Cheaper entertainment than going to the movies.
ALL IN ONE AND ONE FOR ALL
A total break through for woman across the globe. Slip these womens shoes on and 'presto' you are dressed with adjoining shoes, all in the one go. Did I forget to mention give it a few hours to put them on ?
THE GARDEN AERATORS
Still have a little energy leftover from your big day out. Do you feel like doing a little gardening ?. Well no-more do you have to buy tools to aerate the soil in your lawn. Yes that's right, even for those who return home intoxicated, you can just stumble all over your prized couch lawn, as these little spikey high heels dig up the grass with such ease.
LASTLY BUT NOT LEAST MAY I LEAVE YOU THIS WORD FROM THE SPONSOR
Don't be shy, step right up,
Buy a pair today,
There's something here for everyone,
Whether it be study, work or play.
All heads will turn,
To see your strut,
A great diversion,
For the biggest butt.
So it may be hard,
To gain much ground,
You may break your neck,
Without a sound.
Think of all,
The looks you'll get,
The most attention,
You've had yet.
For when you're done,
With your feet so sore,
You will no longer,
Have to do your chores.
If you ask him nice,
He may rub your toes,
You may get lucky,
You never know.
So take a punt,
And buy some shoes,
You've only got,
Ten toes to lose.
Copyright ©2009 Deb Murray
All rights reserved.No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without written permission of the author.
Top 25 Bizarre Shoes
Eye Raising Heels
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