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Organic Vegan Lip Balm | Be A Better Human

Updated on December 25, 2009

Lip balm, possibly the most useless beauty product available on the market unless you're sailing the high seas, navigating your way around the pole or traipsing your way through the Sahara is nevertheless an incredibly popular product. I was fortunate enough to recently be gifted some organic vegan lip balm, which the peel away sticker smugly assured me was free from sulfates, parabens, propylene glycol, petrochemical cleansers, silicones, phthalates, mineral oils, artificial colors and penguins. Well, not the penguins part, but it hadn't been tested on animals, which includes penguins.

Indeed, this lip blam allegedly contained nothing but Jojoba seed oil, Macadamia seed oil, Shea Butter, Vitamin E, Avocado oil, Rosehip extract, certified organic CO2, Rosemary leaf extract, Orange oil, d-limonene and linalool. In case you were wondering what those last two organic ingredients are, they are citrus peel extracts that are rated to kill ' fleas, aphids and mites, but, these compounds also kill fire ants, houseflies, stable flies, black soldier flies, paper wasps and house crickets.' Source

Not only will your lips be balmed, they will also apparently be free of fleas. Joy to the world!

My favorite boast on the extremely verbose label was that the product was 'ingredient-rich', unlike other products, which, one assumes, are mostly empty. Full of holes and spaces between the atoms! Not like this organic product that was just full of its own ingredients.

What puts me off organic products a great deal of the time (aside from the fact that they often don't work terribly well,) is the sense of smug that comes along with them. In the few minutes it took to try a little of this balm (it's balm, like most other balm it makes you want to reapply it within an hour or so,) I went from being sort of a twat to a total douche. Yes. Yes I did. That's just what using organic products does to you, I think.

It's very strange, because in theory, I completely agree and understand what the organic and vegan movements are on about (well, not the vegan movements so much, plants want to live just as much as animals do, I'll wager,) yet I'm completely put off by the fact that they're selling me a lifestyle, not a product. I can't possibly live up to the sort of standards this lip balm wants me to live up to. If I get sick, I'm going to take antibiotics, antibiotics they tested on animals at one point. I'm going to wear fabrics that aren't made out of renewable hemp. Dear god, I'm going to use plastic bags and wear nylon lingerie.

I can't hack the pace this lip balm is setting, but if you're a better person than I, I highly recommend this lip balm.

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