If Beauty Is Skin Deep: Then Why Are People So Shallow?
Today, our society is obsessed with the physical appearance of a person. There are countless articles on how to lose weight, what supplements will bring the youthful appearance, and how to apply make-up. The culture too often judges a book by its cover.
Teens and adult women will stare at the mirror and see every fault. Then they drive by a billboard, see a magazine, or a person in a movie, and forget that those people do not wake up looking as flawless and as beautiful as these touched up photos reveal. Here is a video that shows you what these women go through, and how different just a few tricks can do. I strongly recommend you watch the video and show it to your teenage daughters.
Watch What Turns a Model Beautiful!
What Shocked You Most About This Video
How To Be More Beautiful
Now, I could do a whole series on how to apply make-up, because I'm pretty good at it, but that's not really how you become more beautiful. Beauty only matters for the first fifteen minutes you know someone. After that, people start seeing the you inside. If the you inside isn't all that pretty, your beauty has just gone down in their eyes. On the other hand, if you are an average looking girl like myself, then your personality is what will catch people's eyes.
The number one thing to be beautiful is confidence. I'll admit it, I have my insecurities, but you put me in a social setting, and I can fake it. Take this from a girl voted shyest in her class; now people are surprised to hear that. Well, some people are. I still have my shy moments, but what I lack in confidence, I make-up for sweetness and kindness. On my worst days, I can be sweet. That's my nature. Maybe that's not yours, and that's okay, there is something that is yours.
So look into yourself and think of what people most like about you. Is it your humor? Is it your sincerity? Is it your spontaneity? Whatever it is, embrace that trait. By honoring the qualities that God naturally gave you, you will find yourself more confident and happier with who you are. In turn, you become more beautiful.
Happiness and Confidence Is Beauty
In all honesty, I think the most beautiful thing on any person is their joy for life. The happier you are, the less you will think about what the world around you think. Few can attain the beauty that you find on billboards, as shown above, but happiness is a possibility. In all honesty, I'm one of the happiest people I know. I enjoy life, I enjoy my family, and I enjoy my friends. It helps I married the funniest man alive.
But I have a secret; I'm not naturally happy. When I was younger, my mom claims I would wake up with a smile on my face. It wasn't too far beyond puberty when that changed. I found myself stressed out a lot. If you would have asked me if I was happy back then, I'm not sure what answer I would have given you, but in truth, I wasn't. I wasn't depressed by any means. Very few times in my life, would I say I experienced real depression, but I wasn't happy. I was always stressed out. I always had to have this done, do this. By nature, I'm still like that to a degree, but I remind myself, "It's no big deal." But even more significant than that, I ended up going to the doctor and telling him I was always anxious.
Medicinal Help: He did put me on an anti-depressant, and I discovered Celexa was the right one for me. I'm not saying it's my happy pill. But it helps me think more clearly. I can focus and not worry so much. I'm not always thinking about what people think of me. I am clear in mind.
But that got me only halfway to true happiness. The rest is just a mindset. I have to remind myself A LOT that things aren't that big of a deal. They aren't. Most items, anyway. I stained our carpet, and we are trying to sell our place, upsetting yes. Big deal, not in the grand scheme of things. And when I do think things are a big deal, I talk to my husband, who teases me and makes me laugh, and my mom who will listen and sometimes make fun of me as well.
Makeup Is Only Part of Beauty
Take Yourself Less Serious
Laugh at Yourself, and Let Others Laugh at You Too: And the truth is, I then see how silly and funny the circumstance is. My husband has probably been the sole person who has taught me to laugh. Here's an example. He is a neat freak. If he lived alone, the house would be sparkling all the time, the stapler would be exactly two-quarters of an inch from the left-hand side of the middle drawer in our desk, and there would be no art-work on our fridge. But he lives with me. So basically, you have two opposites. Granted, we have found a middle ground, but it angers him so much when the house is messy. The thing is, he never yells at me about it. Sometimes he'll ask me to clean it up, which means he's agitated. He asks in a civilized manner with complete respect for me. Other times he'll joke about it, "Whoa, hurricane Angie came through." I've seen some couples get into fights when the guy teases the girl like that. But it's easier to laugh at it. It's true; I'm messy. I'm glad he's handling it this way, not another way. By laughing about it rather than getting upset, we can stay peaceful — grounds of mutual respect.
Laughing at myself is probably the number one way I do remain happy. For instance, I ran into the middle bar one day, and a guy was crossing by precisely at the time. It was embarrassing, but instead of getting flustered, I just quickly said, "I have to do things like this to humble myself." He just laughed and warned me of the oncoming bar three feet ahead. Then, of course, the time I ran into a rack (yes aside from messy, I don't pay very much attention to where I'm going, my husband thinks these are related). What was I saying, oh yes, one time I was with my parents, and I ran into a rack. I had two options, awkwardly smile and pretend it didn't happen or gasp in a mock yell, "Why would they put this rack right where people are supposed to walk." I chose the latter. My parents knew I was joking, just laughed, and laughed, but two people were just absolutely appalled by my behavior, which only made us laugh harder.
Contentment: Now, I'm not saying I'm happy all the time. I get grumpy, ask my husband and my mom — two of the few people who see my not-so-happy self. I am content with my life, even though I wish we lived in a house with a yard, and I wish I could have children naturally. I wish I had cats that didn't poop. I want many things. But the difference between me and someone who is not content; I am happy with what I have. I know that I can't change the circumstances now, but I can work on improving them in the future.
We're Not Alone
We have to remember that even if we don't feel beautiful, we feel insecure, we feel awkward, we're not alone. Even women who are sexual objects like Jennifer Love Hewitt are continually being quoted saying they are vulnerable about their appearance, or the comparison to other women.
Then there's magazines and articles always criticizing how this person has cellulite, and this person looks fat, this person has had a significant transformation from geek to sleek. Our society is obsessed with beauty. In Us Weekly, that I may or may not have a subscription to, is always showing the transformation of women. We see how beauties at twenty, have remained looking twenty even into their fifties. We understand how ugly ducklings look beautiful after they learn to do their hair and their make-up, and yes, lose a few pounds. The thing is these women have access to hair-stylists, make-up artists, plastic surgeons, Photoshop gurus, etc.
When All Else Fails, Change Your Appearance
Now I'm not saying there is harm in always trying to look our best, it's natural. But we need to accept our bodies and our appearance with the way God made them. Stop putting ourselves down. If you have not looked at the video, I strongly encourage you to do so. It shows how an average girl can look beautiful, and yet nothing like herself due to a few tricks of the trade. It shows you how many of these celebrities probably have yucky skin like mine, chubby faces, smaller eyes than they appear, but there is so much you can do with the right lighting, the right make-up, the right hair, the right Photoshop feature.
Since we don't have a hairstylist, a make-up artist, someone to Photoshop all of our pictures, we have to settle for ourselves. So wear your cutest outfits, put on make-up that makes you feel good. Because let's face it. We're girls. We can be content in our lives, we can be happy, we can laugh at ourselves, we can be confident, but there is something special about dolling ourselves up.
But more importantly, we need to stop comparing ourselves to those in magazines, on tv, on the big screen. We are not like them, and thank goodness we are not. But you know what, the actors playing the characters aren't even like them. They wake up with bad hair, smelly breath, and I bet they even fart in their sleep! We, as a society, need to learn to accept ourselves and stop comparing ourselves to everyone else on this earth! Once we can accept ourselves, we'll find others do too.
© 2010 Angela Michelle Schultz