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Beware Of Store Catalogs Telling You What To Wear

Updated on September 14, 2009


Okay, so I like to look at the big glossy (or matte finish as that’s what appears to be “in” this season) catalogs that come each season in the mail to show me the latest designer wares and the stores where I can get the items and how much it’s going to cost to wear them. Now while I love me some Barney’s New York, when the men’s version of their fall catalog appeared in my mailbox I was pretty darned excited I don’t mind telling you but within two flips of the pages I discovered what I always seem to discover, what they’re selling I won’t be buying. Beware of store catalogs  telling you what to wear – Don’t Get Me Started!

In the case of the Barney’s men’s catalog for fall apparently if everything in your closet isn’t plaid then you apparently should just stay home. I’ve never seen so many different plaids and yet no matter how they matched the plaids to the pants, suits and other plaid items I discovered that I’m not a plaid wearing person. The only time I was even slightly interested in plaid was when the Bay City Rollers were around shouting about S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y, Night! (And that was strictly a Tiger Beat crush sort of thing on the boys in the band and not so much the plaid fabric) I’ll admit I went along with the argyle for the past couple of seasons but this time I’ve decided to sit out the plaid invasion.

You see, as with most things, I seem to have a problem with authority. That’s right, I remember that under my cap and gown for my high school graduation I was wearing a black polo shirt (collar up of course), gun metal shiny parachute pants (with all the zipper pockets that the law would allow) and a pair of Van’s high-top sneakers that were black and white checkered. I wore that because I thought it looked cool and because I thought it looked good on me. Now I understand that there are a lot of misguided people out there who think something looks good on them and it doesn’t (are you listening chubby girls with the crop tops and your abdomen spilling out over the pants, framed by the line of your rolled over waistband and the bottom of your crop top?) but on the whole I think if you take some time in front of a mirror you’ll discover what looks good on you and what doesn’t. I’ve never been someone who just bought what the mannequin was wearing because usually the mannequin’s proportions are so bizarre that no one could look good wearing what the mannequin is wearing. Also, when dressing I say you have to “dare to be different” at least a little bit. Sure you can wear khakis every day and a blue shirt but there’s something about wearing that green shirt with the purple tie that will show your co-workers you’re not working at Blockbuster and that you’re confident about yourself and what you wear.

I’m just as guilty as the next guy of basically wearing a uniform every day even though my office doesn’t require one. I wear the same things day after day and just hope that no one notices, that perhaps they don’t know that it’s Tuesday so I have the navy pants on again. But I suspect that when you’re a gay people do notice and wonder why you’re not living up to the gay stereotype and fashion powers that are no doubt given to gays at birth. But like the people who wear ratty flannel pants out in public, they use the “comfortable” defense but mine is the “it’s easy” defense and neither one should be allowed. I need to start making more of an effort in my day to day dressing but what I can tell you is that even though I get that I need to dress better, “better” isn’t always what the fashionistas or retail stores are telling me to wear in their latest catalog. Nope, sometimes you DO have to dare to be different. To wear what you know looks good on you but most importantly, find clothes that fit your body and your personality.  Beware of store catalogs telling you what to wear – Don’t Get Me Started!

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