ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Bullet Bras For Men Of Danger

Updated on May 9, 2010

Are you a man of danger? Do you often fight enemy spies? Have you been known to take down an international crime ring using only your wits and a paper clip? Then indubitably, you must be made aware of the bullet bra, a brassiere capable of storing several rounds in its voluminous and pointy / rounded interior.

I don't know about you, but I like it when my lingerie is shaped like a war head. It reminds me that I must be vigilant in my fight against injustice and evil. Evil lurks everywhere you know. Just this morning I popped a soda can and evil came foaming out all over my best clothing. And by best clothing, I mean my retro t-shirt that has Grover on it. That's right. Grover. Eat your heart out. (Whatever that means, that's a very creepy thing to say to someone.)

Maidenform used to make a great deal of bullet bras, indeed, if you observe this advertisement, they made bullet bras for the sort of women who would occasionally prance about wearing lingerie,  a horse head, some high heels, a skirt and nothing else. Actually, now I list all those pieces of clothing, that's actually quite a lot of clothing. It's practically modest, indeed. I bet there's more than one cleric out there willing to trade burkas for large horse heads and completely revolutionize the way we see the Middle East. How could the West continue to be at war with the Middle East if all the ladies were wearing oversized animal heads? We couldn't. So essentially, what I am really trying to say here is that bullet bras would create world peace if only we would give them a chance.

Bullet bras should not be confused for cone bras, which are pointy. Pointy bras do nothing to make the world a safer place, in fact, they make it much more dangerous. You'll put your eye out on those things if you're not careful.

So, where can you purchase bullet bras? Well, they're still in vogue amongst people who enjoy retro fashions, so it is possible to obtain brand new bullet bras that have never been worn by anyone ever. If you're prepared to talk a walk down vintage lane, you'll find plenty of bullet bras available for purchase. With just a little modification, you'll soon be able to leap out of a fighter plane, kill a Russian spy with radioactive tea and float home on your bullet bra enabled parachute in time for tea and scones.

Live life the way it was supposed to be lived – on the edge, and adorned with lingerie that exaggerates a female figure into parody.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)