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Fanny Packs; Stop Wearing Them!!!

Updated on November 16, 2014

This is NOT Okay!

Call it want you want...just don't wear it!

It doesn’t matter how you refer to them; belly bags, belt packs, Buffalo pouches, hip sacks, phany packs, waist bags, hip packs, bum bags, or moon bags; FANNY PACKS are never okay! Yes, never!

Ahhh!

Source

Let it GO...

I can’t find much evidence to support the fanny packs’ existence prior to the 1980s and I think that we are far enough beyond that era to admit and recognize we had no idea what we were doing in the fashion department. There are some fashion faux pas that we have absolutely chosen to leave behind and never look back, but some people just can't let go of that fanny pack!

Please tell me why?

What on earth would be so important that anyone would need to carry on their persons; a bar of gold, kryptonite? What would possess anyone to sport a fanny pack? Is fashion the culprit? I can’t imagine anyone believes that this horrible “accessory” actually compliments an outfit. Let me break it to you, it doesn’t. There is no such thing as matching a fanny pack to an outfit. There is no way to wear a fanny pack that is flattering to any body shape or size. Why would anyone want to wear a belt on the outside of their clothes that has a huge built in pocket?

There are other options, I promise!

If not for fashion then what other reason would constitute subjecting oneself or the public to the fanny pack? One cannot convince me that he/she sports the fanny pack for practical reasons. If you are a woman, anything you need to carry goes into a difference kind of a pouch, it’s called a purse and it is generally worn over the shoulder or carried daintily by the hands. If you are a man, anything you need should be able to be concealed within your wallet. That is the nice little compact leather pouch that is intended to fit ever so nicely in your pocket. If you feel the need to carry more than what your wallet can hold, then you’re carrying too big of a load.

Sometimes we need more...

Yes, there are events and occasions in life that a purse or a wallet just simply won’t cut it. If you’re going hiking, bring a backpack. If you’re going on a picnic, bring a basket. If you’re going on a trip, bring a suitcase. Does that about cover it? If I have left something out or you are unsure of when it may be appropriate to reach for the fanny pack, please, let me know.

I used to wear this

Children's Watermelon Fanny Pack
Children's Watermelon Fanny Pack

Don't be offended; I can relate...

Please don’t take my constructive criticism personal, I used to own and wear a fanny pack myself. My excuse was that I was a minor and my parents subjected me to the abuse. My intentions are only to help those who may need it.


The Truth?

Admit it. Have You Ever Owned/Worn a Fanny Pack?

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Comments

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    • profile image

      Mel 3 years ago

      People that make fun of them lack confidence! Think about it ....it is not the item....it is how you wear it that makes the statement...both good or discusting. It is NOT... a sleeping bad....it is NOT a jock strap....it is NOT a lunch box....it is NOT a speedo....it is NOT a holster.....it is not an outfit for pole dancing....It IS for small items that you need to keep in a place both secured and easy to access. Thank You!

    • profile image

      jen 3 years ago

      Never wore one but my sister did. Ironically the watermelon one with the face! Her 40th is coming up-that would be a great gag gift! If you know of one for sale, I'd love to know

    • profile image

      Helen 3 years ago

      hater.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Simon from Vancouver,

      I am happy to see that you're man enough to wear a fanny pack; I've always said, anything can be in style if you wear it with confidence! I couldn't help myself to make a humorous hub about the fanny pack; my mother used to torcher me back in the day and wear all the weirdest things at once to my brothers and I sporting events. I used to plead with her to leave just one thing home... but she was stubborn! :D

      Thanks for stopping! Keep wearing that fanny pack with pride!

      Cat

    • profile image

      Simon from Vancouver 4 years ago

      I am man enough to wear a FANNY pack and proud of it. I wear a solid black one from a camping but I tip my hat off to those who are truly bold enough to wear something more FUNKY!!! (maybe these individuals are the REAL men?)

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      I can think of at least one other place you could stick your gun.

      Thank you for stopping... glad to see some people are still rocking the fanny pack with pride Hoorah!

    • profile image

      Huh 4 years ago

      Where else do you carry a gun so it is easy to get to but not stuck in the small of your back. Really.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      MizBejabbers,

      Well, I'm certainly glad you found some humor in this :D If ever there was a reason to sport a fanny pack, you've named it! Picture me, a teenage girl worried about my parents being cool. My mother wore one everywhere, even our school sporting events!!! What the heck was she protecting there? :D Hey, if your adventurous enough to ride a scary ride... I'll wear a fanny pack with you! It's a shame you live in a place that a fanny pack is almost a necessity... I suppose I have the ignorance of a small town girl; but that's okay... what I don't know can't hurt me :D

      Thanks so much for the lovely comments and being such a good sport!

      Cat

    • MizBejabbers profile image

      MizBejabbers 4 years ago

      Cat, I'm still laughing, and I have to agree with your opinion that they are not a fashion statement. BUT I still own one, a very unfashionable black leather one that I pull out of the drawer and occasionally wear to protect my valuables in "iffy" situations. Name one, okay, thanks I will. I wear it when I go to the State Fair so I won't be burdoned with a purse if I want to ride a scary ride, and also to keep pick pockets from taking my wallet if I leave said purse at home. Also my mid-sized city isn't the safest city in the USA, and purse snatchers have been known to pull little old ladies like me down the street, especiallly if they are wearing a cross-body bag like my usual. So you see, they are still useful self-defense items, even if they aren't fashionable. Oh, if you ever visit Little Rock, please wear your fanny pack when you visit downtown. Luv your hub. Had to vote it up and funny.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      thetravelgal,

      I owned my own fanny pack too! I retired mine, I'd probably look extra funny wearing a watermelon smile around my waist at 30 years old. They can be convenient, especially when traveling but they're not the most attractive thing, especially when worn in an awkward place in awkard colors (they just look even worse in some instances than others!). Well, thank you for not getting offended by my poking fun at them... and I certainly committed most other 80's fashion crimes myself!!

      Thanks a lot!

    • thetravelgal profile image

      thetravelgal 4 years ago

      I've had to wear them when traveling and it was the safest way to keep valuables, but I can't stand them otherwise. Share your views, it was fun reading and I really could relate to those 80's fashion disasters.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Au fait,

      Aw, now you're going to make me feel bad... I was trying to be funny :-)

      Seriously, I'm sure I have committed a fashion crime or two… and who determines what’s fashionable or not? I will wear what I want and I don’t really care what others think. To be quite honest, I’m not in to today’s fashion, I’m into what I have in my closet… I just don’t get it.

      Don't mind me and I really hope I didn't offend you, I'm just a nut and I was truly inspired by my mother. When I was a teenager, she used to come to school sporting events in terry cloth visors, fanny packs and neon windbreakers :-( I remember being so embarrassed and asking her to make slightly different choices. I think all kids are probably like that at some point or another.

      You're right, we shouldn't be decorations for other people and I don't want to be judged myself, unfortunately, that's what people do. Like you, I don't really care myself. I buy what's on sale and make it work, fashion or not!

      You should write a hub on "How to Not Carry a Purse", I would love to learn how to manage that one. I hate carrying a purse, especially in the summer months when I'm on the go so frequently!

      Thanks for being such a good sport about it and again, I hope I didn't offend you.

      Cat

    • Au fait profile image

      C E Clark 4 years ago from North Texas

      I used to wear a fanny pack when my daughter was a baby and toddler. With little children it's nice to have one's hands free to manage the child and keep them safe.

      I found that I loved not having to carry a bag and that I don't give a damn about fashion. I do what is comfortable and what works for me. Sorry, but I don't feel like I was put on this earth just to be a decoration for other people.

      I no longer wear a fanny pack, nor have I done for years since my daughter is all grown up, but neither do I carry a purse. Haven't done that in years either. I like the freedom of not having to keep track of a purse and always have my hands full of things I can manage without or keep elsewhere.

      I did enjoy this article though, and I found it very entertaining. Voted up, interesting, and funny! ;)

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Wow, what a collection. Yes, your love of music is no surprise and quite obvious in your writing personality. You have such interesting taste buds. There are a few on your list that my attention has neglected, I am going to put the music on and listen while I work... thanks, it should make for a pleasant evening!

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      You must check out Timi Yuro - she's awesome.

      I'm a big fan of songwriters like Nick Cave - Nick Cave and the Bad seeds, Tom Waits, Warren Zevon, Joni Mitchell, the Gerswhins - George and Ira, Ray Davies of the Kinks,

      Kris Kristofferson, Billie Joe Shaver - actually I am very much inspired by music in my writing as you can probably tell and definitely soundtrack film music, classical, jazz and the blues

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Wow, was that weird or what?

      Oh yes, yes I like them all, but of course I do not deny any real talent. I don't like to be restricted to types; when something is great it's great!

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      I have often thought that this is not my first time around the world as I have a connection with music from the past. I dream in poodle skirts and juke boxes. The music was fun or it was sentimental. It was a simpler time, a time before we were run by electronical devices that we've convinced ourselves we run. I grew up on records and 8-tracks, that was music. I do love me some sappy love music from today though. When I hear a song and I believe the singer, when I can feel the pain in their voice... it pulls me right in. Movies? Again, I like the sappy stuff but I also love to laugh, not in a knee-slapping kind of way, but the sarcasm, dry humor that almost takes a moment to digest... that is my favorite. Of course, when everyone is sleeping I always check out the Indie station ;-)

      You, you are the one to be admired, such a quick wit, magical words and an unbeatable sense of humor. I can't get through a day without a Colin-fix without withdrawals!

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      It must be ladies' night at Colin's rockin' cottage - right now it's Wanda Jackson (another one to check out at You tube but go for the early stuff from the 50's; she used to be Elvis Presley's girlfriend back in the day)

      Do you like Joan Jett? Kate Bush? Diamanda Galas? Sarah Vaughan?

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      What kind of music do you like? What are some of your favorite films?

      I wish you could be a correspondent for 60 Minutes - I love your no BS attitude and your sense of humor - yes I would love to have a picnic with you one day - wine , cheese, more wine , lol

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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Colin you have me laughing so hard into my computer that if caught by the neighbors I'd be sure to be called in for mental help!

      What a day in the life of the great Colin must be like... one day we shalt have a picnic!

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      Fanny packs? So that's what you call them. Yes I say burn those motherfookers. RIGHT NOW. And those pants have got to go too, lol.

      I am currently listening to Sleater-Kinney , an all girl power rock trio who could blast most men out of the ball park with their heavy guitar sound - check out Let's call it love at You Tube from the Woods album

      and yes the cultural advantage of living out at the lake is I can play this motherfooker as loud as I motherfookin' want - ya dig? lol lol lol

      Of course it helps when you're drinking a beer with maple syrup in it and clocked at 6.8%alcohol - I just watched the hockey game and Toronto beat your New Jersey Devils so I am chilling with the pussycats and some righteous loud rock and roll - lake erie time 10:28pm

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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Insane Mundane,

      Thanks for visiting. Apparently I should've done my research before writing this hub; if you type in fanny packs over at Google, you will found thousands for sale!? Seriously? That's okay, I would've still wrote the article, after all it is a matter of saving humanity!

      I was embarrassed when my mother would wear them on "family outings" in the late 80's early 90's. I finally got her to stop; I was hoping to save the rest of the world.

    • Insane Mundane profile image

      Insane Mundane 4 years ago from Earth

      LOL! I never understood those goofy-looking fanny packs, either... It looks more like a lazy woman's purse, but still, they should have died out a long time ago! It was really big in the '80s and early '90s, but they often had the color-coordination of the '70s, which made them even more, uh, strange... Ha!

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Thanks, I may not be a fashionista, but fanny packs just have to go.

    • Monis Mas profile image

      Aga 4 years ago

      Fanny Pack - good stuff, hahaha! Voted up and funny!