Buying Lingerie For Your Mother On Mother's Day
As many of you will know, I am something of a lingerie connoisseur who spends large amounts of time perusing Internet purveyors of lingerie. A trend that I could not help but notice was the fact that all over my favorite lingerie sites is splashed the reminder that mother's day is May 9th. I quickly realized that this was not merely a helpful public service being provided by these purveyors of lingerie, rather it was an encouragement for me to purchase my mother some lingerie.
A more wildly inappropriate gift I could not, at first, fathom, but then I made a second realization, the model (far too young to be a mother, in my opinion, but then again, in my opinion, nobody should be a mother until they're at least 50 years old and have done all the living they're likely to do without breaking a hip), was wearing a long gown, not some skimpy bra and panty set.
It is clearly appropriate to purchase lingerie for your mother on mother's day as long as you're not really buying her lingerie, rather, you're buying her sleepwear. Sleepwear she might get lucky in.
Before you cringe and click away, think about it for a second. Your mere existence on this earth probably significantly reduced how lucky your mother got in the past, and its only fair that you repair some of the damage you did with your epically large baby head and subsequent years of screaming tantrums by getting her some long, slowing, satiny nightgowns she will feel like a pretty princess in.
It doesn't matter how old a woman is, a lovely long flowing gown is a welcome present. Not many women buy themselves extravagant gowns, but most women love the way they look. After all, who doesn't want to look like the heroine in a regency romance novel? Nobody, that's who. Even Hulk Hogan and Chuck Norris would give it all up for the chance to look like the heroine in a regency romance novel.
So buy your mother some lingerie this mother's day. Just keep your purchases restricted to sleepwear that falls below the knees and you won't enter the sorts of creepy zones the Greeks loved to write plays about. Even if you've spent your entire life disappointing her, she won't be disappointed with that sort of gift. Unless she is, in which case she's kind of a jerk and you may as well keep the gown for yourself.