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Cankles and World Peace

Updated on February 9, 2011

Chubby ankles? Sad about it? You’re not alone.

Gold’s Gyms have declared a recent Cankles Awareness Month. What are cankles? When your calves go straight down, calves to ankles. Hence, cankles. In plain English, they’re fat ankles. And they’re the latest scourge. If you have them, you’re destined for a loveless life and no friends. It’s the end of civilization as we know it. Or so “they” say.

Think I’m joking? (Check out the full review at http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=8161899&page=1) I went into gales of laughter when I heard the story. Fat ankles. What could be worse, right? Then I read the full story. I’m not laughing so much now.

I won’t make light here. I know cankles are a real concern to some people, mostly women (but a lot of men, too). You have my sincerest sympathies. It must be a real challenge to find ways to hide, or at least, flatter those terrible cankles each day.

But I can’t be as sympathetic as I might be. Why? Because I don’t have cankles. Lucky, lucky me.

Oh, by the way, my neighbor has not only cankles, but plingers. Plingers are plump fingers and can be a bitch when trying to get your wedding ring off (or on, for that matter). Hard to cheat when your ring is cemented to your hand.

You’re all so brave. Just one thing, though: cankles, plingers. You may want to hide them. They are a true turn-off.

Shallow? You bet. Don’t let anyone tell you that you have to hide anything. Cankles or not, you’re a beautiful and talented person who just ate a bit more goodies than might have been wise.

Right?

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